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Saturday, March 13, 2004

INFP = ADD = Depression?

I am pretty much a confirmed INFP. Some tests will tell you how much inclination you have for each consideration (Extraversion vs. Introversion and so on), e.g. very clearly intuitive, only slightly judging etc. I looked up a couple of my past results and added a recent one I took and came up with this:

Introversion: extremely, extremely, extremely (vs. Extraversion)
iNtuition: moderately, extremely, extremely (vs. Sensing)
Feeling: moderately, extremely, moderately (vs. Thinking)
Perceiving: slightly, slightly, slightly (vs. Judging)

So I'm a confirmed [I], very much an [N], pretty much the [F] with a touch of [P]. Also it shows that not all INFP's are created equal. I see a lot of INFP/ENFP/xNFP's online but I wonder how many are like me, i.e. very very very [I].

INFP's are usually described as quiet, reserved, deeply passionate, sensitive, very loving and dedicated to those close to them, creative, imaginative, and hold beliefs and values deeply (from personalitytype.com). I like this mnemonic that sums up an INFP: "I Never Find Perfection" (from haleonline.com). Here are some more detailed descriptions of INFP's:

Portrait of an INFP from The Personality Page
INFP Profile from Type Logic
Portrait of the Healer (iNFp) from Keirsey
INFP the Dreamer from Lifexplore
You're an INFP from Hale Online
"Healer" from Career Types

From keirsey.com, it mentions that Healers (INFP's) are found in only 1 percent of the general population, although, at times, their idealism leaves them feeling even more isolated from the rest of humanity. This is leading to my main point for this entry: the association between the INFP type and characteristics like loneliness, depression as well as ADD/ADHD.

In the general population, here's the approximate distribution of the different personality types:

• ESxx: around 12-13% each, with ESTJ possibly up to 18%, making up more than half of the population
• ENxx: around 5% each, making up about a fifth of the population
• ISxx: around 6% each, making up about a quarter of the population
• INxx: around 1% each, making up less than 5 percent of the population

Before I go on, I should explain a little about ADD. This is taken from Born to Explore - What is ADD? Attention Deficit Disorder, or ADD/ADHD, is a psychological term applied to anyone who meets the DSM IV diagnostic criteria for impulsivity, hyperactivity and/or inattention. The diagnostic criteria are subjective and include behavior which might be caused by a wide variety of factors, ranging from brain defects to allergies to giftedness. ADD is really more of a description rather than a specific disease. However, there is a tendancy for people to over-simplify ADD and view it as a singular defect or disease. Not true!

There are two major types of ADD at this time (this aspect of ADD keeps evolving): ADD with hyperactivity (the traditional type of ADD, also known as ADHD) and ADD without hyperactivity ("inattentive" type).

One common misconception about ADD is that many people assume ADDers cannot pay attention. This is completely false. In fact, ADDers are known to "hyperfocus" on anything which captures their attention, to the point where it is difficult to get their attention. It is true, however, that a higher degree of interest is necessary before the ADDer can pay attention.

The MBTI types that are most likely to be diagnosed ADD are: INFP, ENFP, ENTP, and INTP. You might notice that they are all of the type xNxP. From ADD and Personality Type, Rachael Hawkins wrote that there is increasing evidence to suggest that NP personality types are overrepresented in the ADD/ADHD population. Most of life is SJ; great if you are SJ, OK if you are SP or NJ, really crap if you are NP. Some characteristics of NP's may include: procrastination, divergent thinking, many interests, scatter-brained, get bored easily with something that doesn't interest them, extremely focused with something that does interest them, daydream a lot... etc. (hmm, seem to describe me perfectly). Often, these are also the descriptions of ADD behaviour.

When it comes to Depression, I found that INFP is the most likely of all the types to report suicidal thoughts in college (MBTI Manual, 1998) as well as having the highest level of depression of the 16 types (Shelton, MBTI Applications, 1996). From McMan's Depression and Bipolar Web, he conducted an informal poll and posted the findings here: Taking it Personally. In it he found that more than 80% of the respondents are introverts, when they only account for less than 30% of the general population. Idealists (NF's) are also over-represented, at around 40% (but only comprise 8% of general population).

McMan mentioned a study by David Janowsky MD of the University of North Carolina in 2002, where he found a preponderance of introverts and feelers among a depressed population (74 percent introverts and 84 percent feelers).

So, what have we learnt?
• IN's are a lonely bunch
• NP's are most likely to be diagnosed ADD
• I's, NF's and F's are predominant among the depressed

Hey, who has all of the above? INFP! Of course, this doesn't mean that all INFP's end up being depressed ADDers, or that all those diagnosed with ADD and depression will be of type INFP. Just that there's a strong correlation between the type and the respective "disorders". Some people are biologically depressed due to chemical imbalance. Some type of ADD are caused by brain defects. But studies show that less than 10% of depression is biologically caused. So what causes depression? Stress (among other factors). Feeling the need to "fit in" a world dominated by ESTJ/SJ's, or at least a world where ESTJ type is encouraged (many U.S. presidents are ESTJ's, including George W. Bush). Also, a lot of gifted and creative kids are mis-diagnosed with ADD, simply because they are misunderstood.

I think we need more understanding all around. To understand ourselves better, and to understand each other better. For the "majority" to understand that the "minority" are not just "trying to be different", they are different. And for those who are different to understand that it's OK to be different. If we can try to understand how the various personality types function, the different ways they view the world, the different things that make them tick, we can get along much better and have more meaningful relationships.

To end this on a lighter note, here's a list of MBTI Types Prayers, pretty funny and revealing!

• INFP: God, help me to finish everything I sta
• ENFP: God, help me to keep my mind on one th -Look a bird- ing at a time.
• ENTP: Lord help me follow established procedures today. On second thought, I'll settle for a few minutes
• INTP: Lord help me be less independent, but let me do it my way.
• ESFP: God help me to take things more seriously, especially parties and dancing.
• ISTP: God help me to consider people's feelings, even if most of them ARE hypersensitive.
• ESTP: God help me to take responsibility for my own actions, even though they're usually NOT my fault.
• ISFP: Lord, help me to stand up for my rights (if you don't mind my asking).
• ENTJ: Lord, help me slow downandnotrushthroughwhatIdo
• INFJ: Lord help me not be a perfectionist. (did I spell that correctly?)
• ENFJ: God help me to do only what I can and trust you for the rest. Do you mind putting that in writing?
• INTJ: Lord keep me open to others' ideas, WRONG though they may be
• ESTJ: God, help me to not try to RUN everything. But, if You need some help, just ask
• ESFJ: God give me patience, and I mean right NOW
• ISFJ: Lord, help me to be more laid back and help me to do it EXACTLY right.
• ISTJ: Lord help me to relax about insignificant details beginning tomorrow at 11:41.23 a.m. EST.

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cybette wrote this at 04:50 PM
Comments

It sounds right to me.
As an INFP,
I think I have all three.

(But Zoloft sure does help.)

Posted by Sandy -- May 5, 2004 06:16 PM

Ditto.

Posted by Emily -- June 6, 2004 07:05 PM

double ditto

Posted by Ada -- June 12, 2004 03:36 AM

?E INFP: God, help me to finish everything I sta missing a rt at the end i think

Posted by me -- June 22, 2004 01:00 AM

As someone diagnosed and treated for ADD, it was interesting to me that when reading my MB type (INFP), it sounded almost identical to my ADD diagnosis! I googled the two together, and up popped your BLOG. Very interesting, and in my opinion, right on target.

Posted by Charlotte -- July 28, 2004 09:15 AM

Once denied that ADD existed, am now convinced that it describes me. Several on-line screening tests point to a high probability of it. First introduced to type when studying for my Master's in Teaching (a foreign language (French), of course). Although I typed as an inTp (with the 'T' being, by far, the strongest of the four areas), I am definitely INFP. The description describes me, exactly, whereas INTP, only slightly matches. I account for the discrepancy by the fact that I spent many years as a military officer, most of whom are T's. INFPs are known to be very adaptable, and I think I developed the T area because of that. Anyway, I've also been treated for clinical depression, and will be evaluated for Post-Traumatic Stress disorder, soon. I think the "I never Find Perfection" saying is right on.

Posted by Merv -- August 1, 2004 01:30 PM

Hav'nt had a diagnosis for ADD yet but have been diagnosed with just about everything else. I did the Myer Briggs thing about 4 years ago and could'nt believe how accurately it described how I felt.I had always dismissed the ADD thing because i thought that was just about snotty nosed kids who drank to much raspberry cordial and farted in class.Hardly an Idealist. But since finding out about ADD inattentive types i could'nt believe how much that fitted my life and why i have never been able to relate to the mob.I then thought there must be a higher incidence of this occuring with INFP'S so i did a Yahoo search on ADD Infp and up came your site.Well done.I;ll follow this site with interest and will see if i can find a specialist in my town who can help with a diagnosis.They''ve got me down now as a narcoleptic.
Good Luck to you all and if you get a chance get a hold of the book "Status Anxiety" by Alain De Botton.Nothing to do with ADD but it is sweet music to the soul of an INFP.
Regards Lyall.

Posted by Lyall -- August 19, 2004 04:52 AM

I'm so glad I found this entry! I'm ADD and INFP too. Nice to know it's not just me.

Posted by Terrance -- September 5, 2004 09:52 AM

Hi, i google-searched the net with "depression and ENFP" and your web site turned up. The line "• ENFP: God, help me to keep my mind on one th -Look a bird- ing at a time." made me laugh, but immediately depressed me. funny that! you see, i want a career that i love, but i just am so stuck in a rut that i am not willing to do anything about it. want it, but not willing to do anything about it coz it is bloody depressing thinking about how to do it and then get into action to do it. oh god! i am ranting again!!!! somebody, gag me!!!!!!

Posted by ronald chung -- September 13, 2004 10:40 AM

Yep, it all seems to make sense. I am also an INFP ADDult (Inattentive Type) who knows depression all too well. Great article :o)

Posted by ambientpsyche -- September 18, 2004 08:14 PM

I'm a french INFP meeting ADD's symptoms, actually 24 y/o. Never did what I wanted to, many changing of adress, experimented depersonnalization for years, making me studies that didn't interrested me, but managing to the end, and so trying to work, but impossible for me (accountancy) After that tried to work in computing (helpdesk) but even didn't managed to do it correctly, doing it in my way, never understood by others.... :(
Now, I know that I'm really different, I never will be "natural" for others, but will I find the work wich will allow me to be happy ?
We'll see..
PS: I think my ADD camed after brain trauma caused by dog violence, but nobody cared about that (it was in my 4 year) So I get a lack of logic thinking, wich is pretty hard to live and made me see another reality, and never managed to be myself in social situations... oh my god, I'm so freak...

Posted by snailman -- October 24, 2004 05:01 AM

Hola and whats up? Just wantted to let you know that you guys might be my twins. I have been studing psycolgy (still cant spell) for a while. LOVE the myers-brigg test. I have been thinking i was add for a while. Just got diagnosed with it yesterday! I was wondering if any of you knew some tips on how to combat it? I am happy to know there are so many people out there like me whop are not like the "crowd"......hmm a crowd not like the crowd...lol

Posted by Jonathan -- November 10, 2004 07:52 PM

Guten Tag - Hier ist ein sehr schooner Site. Cheap Staples

Danke!
Bob Staple

Posted by Bob Staple -- November 17, 2004 01:08 AM

I've taken the Kiersey test several times in the last ten years since college and I'm still an INFP.
I've struggled with depression and ADD (no H) for a very long time.
As far as living with ADD, medication helps.
I also make an extra effort not to beat myself up over things that would take a "normal " person a lot less time to accomplish. Focusing on what "normal" people can do is a sure way to bring on the blues.
During the last couple of years quite a bit of anxiety has jumped into the picture as well.
Yoga has helped quite a bit.
Vigorous and intense exercise which I just started again after a long break helps tremendously. Until lately, I've only been doing moderate exercise such as 45 minute hikes or fast-paced walks. The focus and intensity it takes to complete a real workout seems to wipe out any sort of negative thinking patterns that were on my mind before I began to exercisejust an hour before. I am amazed! We've all read about the scientific study of endorphins being released into your system after exercise. And of course exercise allows you to sleep more soundly, thereby having a more productive following day. And thus, less likely to feel down (about productivity, plus your mood will be naturally elevated) and it's easier to focus.
But of course it's all easier said than done.
I fall into the classic ADD trap of not having enough time to exercise because the rest of my daily tasks have taken too long. Or, my depression drains me to the point of having no energy to exercise.
Getting my exercise done first thing and making it a priority seems to solve this. (on the days that I actually do it)
I've also had to read up on the best diets for people with depression and ADD. I hate to break it everyone, but refined sugar and white flour are the devil!
They temporarily hype you up and then drop you lower than you felt before you ate. I am not advocating a low-carb diet at all, since that too can contribute to depression as well as irritability.
Since reading up on the connection to ADD, depression, and diet,I've switched to whole grains whenever possible. My diet is similar to the famous "Zone Diet".
I also follow the six-small meal plan with snacks at least every four hours.
If I know I only have time for large meals, I tend to overeat becuase I don't know when I'll have time to eat again. And then guess what happens? I overeat, feel sluggish, get really sleepy and unproductive. Then I get down on myself for being unproductive. (depression) Then the anxiety sets in because I am so far behind on what I am suppose to be working on. And of course stress and anxiety are draining and so I am too tired to exercise. My evening is spent reflecting on what a big loser I am and how I have failed to do so many things today.
I hate that it's been proven that my emotional and mental wellness depends on this, while others can be productive by starting their day with coffee and a cigarette or a donut and they'll never have a sugar crash.They'll be happy and social and have plenty of energy all day long.
In the end, it comes down to knowing what has been scientifically proven to help with depression and ADD. But most importantly, I need to commit and follow through. And on the days when I actually practice what I am preaching, I feel pretty damn good!!

Posted by hannah -- December 13, 2004 08:49 PM

This is Hannah again. I wrote the above post about the connectionto ADD, depression exercise and diet.
And of course, I forgot to mention another very important thing that has helped me as well.
I've been in and out of therapy since college. I struggled with depression even more after my boyfriend, a writer and INFP, committed suicide 8 years ago. He's actually the one who got me to take my first Myers-Briggs test that was in the Kiersey book titled PLEASE UNDERSTAND ME.
Anyway, to all of you infp people out there, some words of advice about therapy. My first few therapists were interns working on their Masters degrees in Counseling, both in a University setting as well at various sliding-scale clinics in town. They focused a little bit on trying to find out how my early childhood and family influence the way I see the world. None of the therapist ever dared venture into the content of my dreams. My current therapist is a Jungian trained therapist at a clinic that specializes in a Jungian approach to psychotherapy. My work this therapist in the past six months by far exeeds all of the work I had done with my therapists combined. As a Jungian therapist, she delves into dreams, personality typology, and helping each client find their calling in life, even when it changes.
If any infps out there choose to go to psychotherapy, I would highly recommend a Jungian trained therapist.
In comparison to other forms therapy, she's Shakespeare and makes all the other therapists look like Dr.Seuss.

Posted by Hannah -- December 13, 2004 09:14 PM

Well.. It's refreshing to find others like me!

Posted by Steve -- December 27, 2004 03:51 AM

Hello guys!
I'm very happy to have seen your site. I'm INFP too and when I read all your words, I feel much better...It's a pity that teachers don't inform us sooner about personality types and ADD. Indeed in Europe, it's not so common this kind of information.
Hoping the best for all of you, a big kiss from my snowed European country.

Posted by Laura -- December 30, 2004 01:11 PM

I was once asked by a boss (social worker), if I was ever diagnosed ADD. I responded no. But, looking at my job history, I never have stayed with any job for more than 5 years. One may want to look at a correlation between ADD, INFP and Bipolar. Anxiety runs rampant in my head. Thank God for chemistry.

Being an older INFP, I have managed to survive and I would like to help our younger kindred manage their life streams. Early in my life, I thought I was the only one experiencing the things troubling me. After I took the Myers-Briggs three times and analyzing the characteristics of this group, I had a better handle on what was causing me to do the things I did. (There is a darkside to being an INFP, but that's another discussion).

Advice? We're dreamers. Do not let anyone or anything take that away or change you. We've been to places where others are just now getting to.

Posted by Mikey -- January 12, 2005 01:49 PM

I see a trend. I didnt exactly read the whole thing lol but from what I did read and the comments... I dont feel alone in the world anymore.

Posted by -- January 25, 2005 02:09 AM

Wow does all of this fit. Being an INFJ is a lot like marriage.....for better and for worse!

Posted by Andy -- February 10, 2005 02:54 PM

Hannah's two posts above contain very valuable information for INFP's. I may switch to a Jungian therapist as a result of her recommendation. INFP's must be cautious of diagnosis of bipolar and/or ADD. Therapists/psychiatrists who don't consider our type in their diagnosis, or who wave off MBTI as unscientific, should be viewed with careful consideration. I'm not at all recommending that INFP's stop any medication or therapy they're currently involved in, though. At least until they've had the opportunity to discuss MBTI issues with their therapist.

Posted by Jerry -- March 2, 2005 09:13 PM

I think this is quite true-- and it makes sense. People who are INFP's are often "fanciful" children, and because they are forced to pretend not to be so caught up in a fantasy world, they end up squishing these natural inclinations and ending up just distracted all the time and unable to focus. Depressed, etc. Interesting... I'll have to do some more research on this.

Posted by Adena -- March 16, 2005 08:18 AM

You know what...this website is a dead ringer for how I feel on a daily basis... I have recently just looked into my results for the Meyer-Briggs personality test, and I as well am an INFP who suffers from so-called ADD. I know I have it, but I blame it much on the fact that I am thinking or hypothesizing about 80 percent of my waking hours...its just who I am. It is interesting to read that I am not alone among an estimated 2 million people in our population with an INFP constitution...(makes up about one percent of total popluation supposedly?) Its nice to read that I am not the only one who feels this way about life. Thanks for putting it out there!

-Megan

Posted by Megan -- April 5, 2005 03:22 PM

Your mention of the prayers led me to this tangental bunch of thought. Hmm. Ok, you don't allow inline hrefs. Guess I will have to trust the "URL (optional)" thing to really be working. If not, see my latest (at the moment) LJ entry under "edwardv".

Posted by Edward Virtually -- April 17, 2005 09:50 PM

god its awful isn't it? infp-ness. perhaps it would be a little bit more bearable if i stayed a chrisitan. mainly because as an infp i will keep on stumbling and procrastinating and tripping from distraction to distraction, not accomplishing anything, through life until of course i am old and tired and looking back with the knowledge that this is/was it, the one life there is.

i find it difficult to understand when other infps, or when the myers-briggs description, talk of changing the world when all i do is dream of changing myself (without any real regard to what goes on outside).

ok sure i sound pretty depressed and tragic here but its the end of the day and i work full time and the job is busy but repetitive and i do really try to smile there and engage with my colleauges thru out the day but, man, its here: late at night, at the computer, an empty bed waiting, that i find myself hard to deal with.

i have been doing excercise the last months myself actually (re: hannah's words). andit is true actually. it helps. amoung other things, i find it gives me a kind of decisiviness that i often lack. like if i have been swimming (the coolest excercise) i'll be driving home and i won't hesitate if the light has turned orange. i KNOW this is a ridiculous example and makes me out to be a bit of simple geezer. but there is a kind of strength here that i am trying to explain (but far too tired and impatient to).

i just want to say its been really heartening reading these entries. you all rock. i have such a bad memory i thought maybe some of these entries were something i had written (until i read the names at the end). strange.

to wallow in your misery listen to elliott smith, mogwaii, do make say think, and, i guess, the smiths- if ur younger, and i don't mean that in a condescending way.

oh, also, i really don't think infps should do drugs. hell as you know, alcohol can be bad enough. (you know when you go all introverted and dark?) i smoked far too much weed as a teen and regret it immensely and feel that it really doesn't help our cause. we're lost enough as it is.

err. i hope this has helped.

Posted by gershwin -- April 20, 2005 09:11 AM

Thanks for this. I've often felt like I had ADD, and have to listen to Baroque music in the background to drown out the distractions in my office.

When I enter the "depths of despair" because reality doesn't measure up to my ideal, I try to remember I'm not alone out here.

I posted a thought on my blog today (see the URL) about the problem with INFPs.

Posted by Collatine -- May 4, 2005 03:18 PM

I was actually looking to do research about my 1st grade son because I am almost 100% sure he has ADD which could some day attribute to depression. I am on line to do stimulant (med.) research for him so that he will not continue to be the student that the teacher keeps getting frustrated with. I have both depression and ADD; have as long as I can remember. Thank you all for sharing. Yes to Hannah and yes to the person who said that he/she has not kept the same job for over 5 years. I haven't held the same job for over 3. My husband just doesn't get it. He has been in his same job for 15 years. I don't get it. My poor son and what he might be in for in the future. It makes me sad. Thank you to everyone for helping me understand that I am not alone.
Karen

Posted by Karen -- May 28, 2005 11:10 AM

Wow, I thought I was alone... guess not. INFP/Bi-Polar here and probably ADD too. I could write a dissertation on my life here, but I'll spare you. :) I get bored easily.

Posted by David -- June 3, 2005 01:13 AM

Wouldn't it be fun if we could set up an INFP chatroom for those who find this blog? If we set a reasonable time, like say 8PM EST, perhaps many of us can join in. Yahoo chatrooms are convenient.

Posted by Andy -- June 3, 2005 08:53 PM

Wow. I'm an INFP, too (love the MBTI and typing people is a fun hobby!) who has suffered from depression in the past, and my therapist recently suggested I might have ADD -- I've been doing a little research on the correlation between these factors and I'm amazed. It makes so much *sense* why I can't quite get it together now! This was very informative. Thanks! :)

Posted by Karla -- June 5, 2005 04:40 AM

Hi hi

I am a fairly strong ENFP and I have adhd symptoms (based on the tests online and at the doc's). I also have mood swings and OFTEN feel rather down and depressed.

Can ANYONE here help out with my E/I issues. I am certain I am an E, but unless I am with close friends or have some sort of uncontrollable feeling to open up, I am rather reserved, almost against my will. I am an E because it is what makes me feel best and most natural, I score high on the E, but, I think this causes my down feelings, is that I am often shy/insecure about expressing myself unless I am with a group of people who I wholeheartedly know well and trust. Or if I'm drunk for instance.

WHy is this, it's been making life too bitter for the last years, sometimes very bad.

Posted by Alex -- June 23, 2005 11:59 AM

Alex, this might help. From http://www.myersbriggs.org/my_mbti_personality_type/mbti_basics/extravert_and_introvert.asp

"C. G. Jung applied the words extravert and introvert in a different manner than they are most often used in today??s world. As they are popularly used, the term extraverted is understood to mean sociable or outgoing, while the term introverted is understood to mean shy or withdrawn. Jung, however, originally intended the words to have an entirely different meaning. He used the words to describe the preferred focus on one??s energy on either the outer or the inner world. Extraverts orient their energy to the outer world, while Introverts orient their energy to the inner world."

So, you can be an "E" and still be shy and withdrawn, and vice versa. I am an "I" but can be very outgoing at times, although that takes a lot of energy from me and I need to 'recharge' by being alone and connecting with my inner world.

Posted by Carol -- June 26, 2005 11:12 AM

Thanks for the email carol

yea, i've read something like that before, with regard to energy. in that case, perhaps what i wrote originally was meant to be a tangent. i wasn't doubting the fact that I was extroverted, neither was I doubting the fact that i was very often reserved and *shy*.

i think that i am/was just looking for a diagnosis of how the two jive together. for instance, i am curious what kind of personality types woudl benefit most from anti-depressents, it seems to me that natural I's won't as much as natural E's. I also think it could be due to the NFP aspect, because it blocks out a lot of reason from my subconscious decision making, - leading to delusions that are only noticed by me if i really pause to logically think things out and come to different conclusions.

what does everyone think of that.

Posted by alex -- June 29, 2005 01:15 PM

hi everyone! I'm coming to terms with ADD just having read Women and Attention Deficit Disorder. This woman must be spying on my life. I was an INFJ and a perfectionist--but I've come to think that was the 'hyperfocused' ADD inattentive. It was hard to sustain.

Do drugs work? There is very little on line from people who've been taking the drugs. Can anyone comment on their experiences with prescription drugs. Thanks!

Posted by Tara -- July 19, 2005 02:48 PM

Heh, Does seem like lots of INFPs find there way to this blog doesn't it?
I don't have ADD, but I was homeschooled partly because I didn't do anything in school. Just sat quietly at the back of the class thinking my own thing.

And I don't have depression not that old though.

Sometimes I wonder what happens to people like me. I'm a christian so I have a strong belief I can stick to. But I often wonder what would have happened to me if I grew up outside of a christian family. I don't like I would have had much of a reason to live.

Me :)
Introverted 78
Intuitive 75
Feeling 38
Perceiving 89

Posted by Brendon -- July 20, 2005 04:50 AM

I was wondering how many INFP's have a srong Aries or Sagittarius influence in their birth charts and how many have ADD? I also wondered how many have a strong libra influence in their chart? I would probably have ADD. I have my sun sign in Aries, moon in sagittarius, and Mars in Libra. I am an INFP. I believe justice is important. I am easily restless. I start things and have trouble finishing them and love freedom. Anyway, thatnks for the insight on this blog.

Posted by Cheryl -- August 7, 2005 11:02 PM

I'm an INFP and ADD, but I didn't realize there was a connection until I stumbled upon a website about a month ago. It makes a lot of sense to me.

I found the last comment interesting because I'm a Sagittarius. I've been reading a lot about numerology and I've noticed a lot of the people I work with are also the same number as me a 7 as well as an NF.

When I was diagnosed with ADD at 17, I began taking medication for it. It works very well for focusing on tasks, concentrating in school, and helped me to get better grades, but I still find that if I?m not very interested or simply don?t understand a subject then even on Adderall I still have trouble.

As well as being diagnosed with ADD I was diagnosed with having ?social-anxiety disorder? and was on anti-depressants for two years which helped me some, but when I used Hemi-sync, which I heard can cure ADD, I no longer needed anti-depressants.

I just have a question, are we supposed to be trying to fix this so called problem we have with drugs or now that we know it as simply our temperament are we supposed to be embrace it?

Posted by Rachel -- August 8, 2005 04:12 AM

I don't know the answer to your question, but I am left to wonder if we are the personality type that is meant to do what we love since we wont focus on what we don't. That is funny that you came out a 7 in numerology because I did too. Maybe we have to learn how to work with it. The teachers would do well to learn to work with us. I have heard a lot of people with ADD are creative. The teachers would do well to accept the ADDers forms of learning through creativity, as long as they understand the material. I think their is a reason a certain small percentage of the population is an INFP type and are prone to ADD. I haven't figured out what it is yet.It's good to hear the perspectives of those who may have similer issues as me or who have positive insights about being an INFP.

Posted by Cheryl -- August 11, 2005 04:18 PM

I can relate to many people on this blog. I was diagnosed with ADD as a child and struggled in grade and high school because I often lost my assignments. (Usually not perposely). I found myself in college and averaged A's and B's. (I was disatisfied with B's, however.) I took the Myer's-Brigg's test in college and I knew from the presenters dicription my type (INFP) and the aprox. scores. I even had one profesor. (I really struggle with spelling) tell me that I was an "Idealist". I have sence been diagnosed with severe Bipolar I. I "lost" myself for a while but reciently I recovered my Idealism and my enthusiasm for life. I still get depressed (I am on the anticonvulsent Lamictil and two other medications. The meds I am on work for me but such pills aren't for everyone. It has to be your choise, not some psychietrist.) You can tell that I am a strong INFP just by seeing how messy my apartment is! I just can't stand all the detail work nessary to clean. (I feel guilty every time someone comes into my apartment.) Anyway,can someone give me a positive solution to my lack of entusiasm for cleaning?

Posted by Jeffrey Worthington -- August 27, 2005 03:07 PM

I have to clarify some of my comments. I ment to say that I found myself while in college. I also should have said that when I recieved the results of the first Myer's-Brigg's test that I knew the results simply from the discription of the eight variables before I actually recieved the actual results of the test. I guess that I hate to be misunderstood has a human being and by what I write.

Posted by Jeffrey Worthington -- August 27, 2005 07:34 PM

Oh I've tried countless times throughout my life to clean my room/apartment/house. I found out the problem is not just getting them cleaned (yes it does take a lot of determination and work). But because of my perfectionist nature, once they are clean, I obsess about KEEPING them clean, and I can't get anything else done. So it's easier just to leave everything in a mess, my "organized" mess. I feel guilty too when people come visit. I also hate to be misunderstood by what I write and what I say (although it's probably much easier to misunderstand what I write since I write a whole lot more than I speak). Does that make sense? I need sleep...

Posted by Carol -- August 29, 2005 02:19 AM

Hey guys,
I'm infp and I really relate to Jeffrey. struggled in high school too; however I excelled at college and university. At school I was put in all the special help classes and made to do different more simple work. Especially by my English teacher she would write things more simply especially for me on the board & would say to the other kids "u have to help her - she doesn't understand" - I now have an english lit degree and got 100pc in my A-level exam! I've often wondered why this happened - I think I was just bored and daydreamed alot and the teachers thought I was a vegetable coz I was so quiet.Found it difficult to listen. always lost everything 2! books, pens, my work, myself, wud come into school with my uniform inside out (by accident!o) Has this happend to ne1 else? Also I'm Saggitarius sun mercury, uranus, neptune, Aries moon - so maybe there is a connection. sorry to ramble - xx

Posted by Sarah -- August 30, 2005 06:45 AM

Hello!

I'm an INFP too, I was always getting told off for not listening and stuff. But ya know I hyper focus on things. I'm a Taurus with Saggitarius accendant. Lots of Aries and Moon in Pisces, poor me.

Wish me luck I'm a poet to add to my disabilities hehehehe.

Posted by Helen -- September 5, 2005 01:06 PM

I've flip-flopped between doing extremely well to barely making the grade throughout my school years. I definitely daydreamed a lot.... can't pay attention usually but if it's something that really interest me I will hyper focus almost obsessively.

Posted by Carol -- September 5, 2005 06:22 PM

I'd like to hear more about the bi polar aspect of INFP. I'm inattentive ADD. Duh, we live in our heads. And, apparently we are also rare among bi polars. I wonder how many here have a creative streak? Insomnia?

Also, what are the evolutionary implications of mental illness? Are we the next leap? The ones who go easily into the technological age unscathed by human contact.

Anyone wants to chat...just IM. I'm into books, music, movies, art, paper, beads, alternative book forms, embossing, knitting, etc.

;)
E
manic phase

Posted by Elizabeth -- September 10, 2005 12:57 AM

Zoloft is good for social phobia and OCD.


e.
poisontea4u@yahoo.com

Posted by Elizabeth -- September 10, 2005 12:59 AM

Nothing to add to al of the above. It's all too familiar for me.
For those interested in astrology, my own stuff: ascendant Sagittarius, sun Aquarius, Moon Pisces, Mars Aries. Seems not unusual.

Posted by Ferry -- September 12, 2005 07:32 AM

This was really interesting for me. Thanks! I'm an INFP (I keep taking the test, thinking it will change...damn), and I have dealt a lot with depression, especially in college (now 23), so it was particularly relevant. I don't think I have ADD, but the daydreaming is definitely something that takes up a lot of my time. And as far as feeling misunderstood...that's something I've thought about myself for as long as I can remember.

I keep running across sites that also tell me that INFPs are the "least marriable" or will have the "most problems mating for life" of all the personality types. Any other young, single women find this sad? It's hard to write this off when so much of what they say describes me so well...

(To the person who said the "rt" is missing in start from the prayers, it's supposed to be missing...that's why it's funny.)

Posted by -- -- September 12, 2005 12:58 PM

Insomnia? What insomnia? It's only 4am.... ;)
Oh, and I work a regular 9-6 job. Really tough...

But I'm also happily married. Our problems with mating probably stems from our idealistic view of the world, of people, and of relationships. And when things fall short of our ideals, we get totally despondent and withdraw into our inner worlds... It's a delicate balance of having faith and not losing hope and accepting reality while somehow still keeping my idealism - plus meeting the right person, that I am where I am today.

I wish all of you luck and love as welll...

Posted by Carol -- September 13, 2005 04:17 AM

Well this site was a great discovery. Hi im another INFP certainly depressive on and off since age 15 have a son with ADD and show ADD inattentive type traits myself. Have always felt out of it not part of the gang not 'normal'. Have sort of learned to live with my depression but its a bit rubbish isnt it? Must be a lot easier being some of the other personality types. Keep reading that sensitivity can be a gift etc etc but id settle for being more easy-going and light hearted.

Posted by Helen -- October 19, 2005 12:35 AM

I was diagnosed 5 yrs ago after a bout with severe depression. Wellbutrin saved my sanity and helped my ADD 100%. Now I'm dealing with the opposite affect of lack of creativity and inspiration with the drugs, so trying to level everything to get to a happy medium. Even without the meds, at least I know what the problem is, so I can deal- before I was always depressed and angry and was frustrated because I never knew why. Knowing as they say- is half the battle. The other half is figuring out who you are and what really matters- good luck to you all- It's definately a journey.

Posted by Amy -- October 22, 2005 11:14 PM

Hmmm.
By way of background info I'm an MBTI INTP and Keirsian NT (iNtuitive Thinker).
From what I have learned about ADD I had deduced that *most* diagnosed with ADD were Keirsian SP (Sensate Perceivers) who SJ (Traditionalist, Gaurdian) teachers, bureaucrats, or/and parents couldn't get to `pay attention', do their duties, or/and subordinate themselves to `Athority' (EG sociopolitical `Power').
Personally, I -- an IN in your typology -- have had problems with `attention' of two subtypes:
(a) attending to what `others' believe/know I should be `attending to'.
(b) attending to `details of life' (AKA `depression')
As for the not-attending to what would-be athorities want, need, request, or demand ... I regard this another matter altogether.

To me the ADD diagnosis is for flit-witted Sensate-Perceiver Artisans with `impulse control' problems; not intuitives `listening to their inner voices/iNtuitions'.
Especially if/when listening to one's intuition is
`part of one's job', for-profit, etc.

Also, it seems that ADD is `a problem' regarded by Extroverted Sensates whose preferences for `attending to' external sensual stimuli' result in biases against both introverts and intuitives who prefer attend to either `internal' stimuli (EG thoughts, feelings, etc) or `iNtuition' (as opposed to `the 5' senses). Personally, I don't regard any apperceived (as in T.A.T. ) `deficit' of attention by someone-anyone either Extroverted, Sensate, or `in a position of authority' as `a disorder': I regard it good policy and good practice to ignore the ignorant of this ilk. However, I do regard my not-too-well-developed ability to `attend to' day-to-day matters of living (as in `depression') as a disorder.

Thanks for making public your otherwise private thoughts on the correspondence between depression
and Introverted intuitives. And, in closing, I'll pose this question: If only 4 to 5 percent of `the flock' are introverted intuitives then why wouldn't they/we experience the `depression' of ugly ducklings surrounded by the `birds of a feather which flock together'? Be we swans or mere loons, it is qua IS rather depressing, lonely, or such finding one's Self surrounded by birds of a different feather, isn't it?

Sincerely,
Gene

Posted by Gene -- October 28, 2005 12:09 PM

Wow! I've been soul searching all my life never quite understanding why I felt so different to most people I knew and now I'm beggining to see why! I'm a INFP, also I have ADD (although self diagnosed through online tests and research) (and I'm a Sagitarrius), there seems to be a signififcant link between these elements.

I'm really glad I stumbled upon this page it makes me feel less freakish knowing there are others with the same outlook as me.

To me the world is a place of such beauty, but others tend to pass it by and ignore the simple things like the way a leaf is snatched from a branch by the wind and then gently tumbles to the ground in a cascade of colour and randomn dances.

I often feel this surge of emotions even when thinking of silly things that others would not regard significant. Its weird how I've ALWAYS felt the urge to help people, animals or the planet in general. The problem is I never actually get around to doing ANYTHING because I'm forever stuck in my own thoughts and reflections. Damn and blast it, I would have to go and be a INFP!! But it's all good ;)

The INFP the eternal poet, healer and believer...

Posted by Stacey -- November 30, 2005 11:59 AM

I'm an INFP and found this page after feeling particular badly just now from sitting in another meeting where others were talking freely but I was sweating bullets afraid I'd have to say something. It made me wonder how talking in meetings is so easy for others but not me. And then I have to write some documentation, but I'm totally not interested in it and have put it off all day, instead surfing the Internet looking for pictures of girls who might resemble an old girlfriend. Annnd finally I just found out that an old classmate has a job with a lot more status than mine, and it made me feel like I am wasting my life even though I like my job. Why is it easier for him to talk to high powered people and not worry all the time?

I have been treated for ADD with Adderall, and anxiety with Xanax, and social phobia with Zoloft, but that was 5 years ago, and I'm thinking it might be time to go back, if only so that I can speak up in meetings...

Posted by john65001 -- December 27, 2005 01:46 PM

I find it an interesting, but don't necessarily agree fully. I am myself an INFP and no we don't fit in. I agree in that INFP's are more likely to suffer depression, however I have to disagree with the ADD diagnosis. I don't think INFP's are more likely to suffer ADD or to have ADD. I think its the reverse, people with ADD are more likely to become INFP's. It's a subtle difference, perhaps not worth mentioning.

It is hard, I often feel alone. If you've read information saying that INFP's are the least marriagable, I wouldn't worry. It isn't true at all. Most people connect very well with us. People don't understand us, but doesn't mean they can't love us.

By the way, I'm an Aquarius. I know this thread is old, but tonight, I feel like just letting some others know how I feel. If you get past the website ads.

Posted by Rolf -- January 9, 2006 06:40 AM

I'm very happy to find this conversation about INFP and ADD/Depression. I am a mental health therapist, and an INFP who has suspected I have ADD. I'm am not often depressed, I feel all lives have there ups and downs... I started considering the ADD diagnosis after I took my pre-teen daughter in to be tested following many years of frustration with her symptoms. She started on meds and we saw immediate results. I took the Meyers-Briggs for the second time at a 2 day workshop last weekend and was shocked to see what I felt was a corralation with ADD. I have resisted taking medication for ADD for a few reasons. I am a recovering drug addict (10 years) and worry about speed. I am aware of strateria and I am still considering it, I am fortunate to work with several psychiatrists. But I'm worried about what I my loose of my basic personality, such as creativity, process, intuativeness (sic) etc. I love most things about my life, by my lack of orgainizational skills and my significant inability to finish very important tasks causes much anxiety for me. Of course, being an INFP makes it easier to keep putting this decision off... Have any of you folks taken meds for the ADD symptoms? Did you feel the loss I'm described above or any other losses??
Also on a slightly different note, at the workshop I attended we discussed the scales for each factor, (slight, moderate, etc) and the facilitator indicated that one way to approach a balance would be the more fully develop our preferances rather than to struggle with them. This makes some sense as it would reduce how conflicted we feel about who we are. Comments about this??

Posted by Judy -- January 20, 2006 08:34 AM

Judy, I am an INFP and was diagnosed with ADHD (without the 'H' haha). Therefore I am taking a stimulant called Dexedrine. If you take a small amount it is not a problem at all. I have only been taking it for a couple of weeks, and WOW! I sure can focus! My memory is not necessarily any better, though. I take such a small amount that my creativity has so far not been affected. Furthermore, my former boss has been taking the same thing for 7 years and her memory and sharpness are soooo awesome. She said that while she does have to increase her dosage every couple of years (and will have to forever, probably), there are no dangerous side effects. Other alternatives to medication would be to be give a balanced, organic diet a try and take Omega-3. Also, when I was in 9th grade, I ate lots of sausage, milk, bread, etc. and lightly jogged 3 miles every day (and was on the tennis team). My grades were great, I felt more extroverted, I was creative, I could get up in the morning without hitting the snooze button 50 times. And it only took about 2 weeks of exercise and lots of protein to really notice a difference. But, right now, I'm really busy, taking 15 killer-hard courses in college, working 20 hours a week, and maintaining a serious relationship, so I thought I would first give stimulants a try since my boss has had such good results. **Another thing, I am an addictive person, and since stimulants are addictive, I am being put on some prayer lists to pray for me that I won't become addicted. Anyway...good luck ;)

Posted by Laura -- January 22, 2006 04:49 PM

John, I know exactly how you feel... I have the hardest time speaking up in meetings. It just seems so easy for others to speak their minds freely but takes tremendous effort on my part to voice anything out before I lose my nerve. It can be almost paralysing sometimes. It happens in both work and social situations, so exhausting and draining... It's just so much easier being alone by myself, with my own thoughts, without all the different voices and sounds to distract me. As if our own thoughts are not distracting enough! There could be hundreds of things going through my mind at any one time with like 10 main trains of thoughts clamouring for my attention. Makes it hard to get anything done! Like this short comment took me almost 15 minutes to complete as I paused to do some other thing or to ponder another idea etc.....

Posted by Carol -- January 24, 2006 03:39 AM

Judy, I am an INFP ADHD with a pretty good IQ. I'm not going into my details because it seems we are all basicaly the same.
I started adderall at 20. I found my creativity got better because I could finish ideas. The only thing I lost was appetite.
Does anyone have advice to get over the frustration of so many years I could have been tangiably productive and not have gotten in trouble every day if someone would have realized what was going on and put me on meds?
Also, now I am stuck with the expected low selfesteem and sense of inadequecy...any good ways to get over these things and grow as a person without therapy?
Is there a chat room that we all meet at?

Posted by Eli -- January 30, 2006 04:26 PM

Thanks Eli and Laura for your comments. I do not have ADHD, just the ADD. Although it looks like there are more simalarities than differences here. Completing projects is certainly not my strong point. Your comments about creativity and getting things done are VERY helpful. I would like to respond to your question about how to build your self-esteem and reduce your sense of inadequecy. There are a number of things you can try, it is impossible to say what will be the thing that will help as we are all so different. One of the main reasons you may feel this is that you are having trouble forgiving yourself of your previous failures or difficulties. Compassion is necessary for forgiveness. I could be useful to imagine someone you love making simalar mistakes in order to be more objective about giving yourself a break. You deserve love.

Posted by Judy -- January 31, 2006 08:58 AM

Hello to all of you beautiful INFP's

About 20 yrs ago I worked for a lawyer who used Meyers/Briggs to counsel his clients who were thinking of divorce. I was involved in many many seminars learning about this topic. I was 20 yrs old and tested to be an INFP,(so was the lawyer so I learned much about our precious personalities) :)

Now, I am 40 and that was of course a lifetime ago, yes, just as most have mentioned, struggled with depression, anxiety, was misdiagnosed with Bi-Polar,ect...I recently retook this test. (I forgot about it for many years, hee hee) And yes, retested as an INFP. I was quite puzzled because in all of these years, I have dealt with many issues and in my Christian faith have become quite at peace with myself and find great joy in the special gifts that we as INFP's have to offer others.(of course I did'nt realize these gift were because of our type) I thought perhaps, my type must have changed because I am no where near the person I was 20 yrs ago. But, types just don't change, we just learn to grow and develop and embrace the good that we have within us, don't let the negatives be a black mark but an area to improve.

someone mentioned marriage failure. I have been married for 15 yrs to my opposite an ENTJ (now talk about a challenge!) God designed us all so different, if we can find the positive in each other and not try to change each other (because we can't) any marriage can work.

This has become a very long thread, I do not normally write, but this is an area of passion for me. Embrace being the special INFP that is rare and very important in our troubled world.

God Bless.

Posted by Dianne -- January 31, 2006 09:40 AM

Hi guys. It's been really fascinating reading everyones' comments. We all seem to have much in common. I am an Aries, INFP and when I was just a young child, my doctorand parents decided Iwas hyperactive and put me on Phenobarb. Lots of projects. I have been quite suc-cessful academically, but, sadly, you were right. I just can't find perfection. Basic chef course, 2 college diplomas, social service and drug and alcohol counselling, currently on a leave of absense from work to complete my BA, as I only need 4 credits. I still don't have any confidence and like many others, never did feel like I fit in anywhere. I always felt odd until I talked with this employment counsellor who told me about several approaches including true colours and Meyers Briggs. Once I saw that I was rare, weel, I could feel weird or I could feel gifted for having ideas and visions others didn't. I chose to feel gifted. Might sound nuts but for what ever reason we were chosen or selected I believe we have the potential to do great things. Imagine what we could accomplish collectively with the right focus! Thanks.

Posted by Joey -- February 20, 2006 10:02 PM

Eli, I think a planned time to converse is a great idea. I'll keep checking in. May the force be with you. Regards.

Posted by Joey -- February 21, 2006 11:01 AM

Hi all of you.

I have been so happy to find this site! It is like reading my personal diary in internet and it feels amazing. I have wondered my whole life why I am so different form others and why is everything so difficult to me in normal life. Now after graduating from university and in workling life the tasks and responsibilities came too big for me and I finally got in to psycholog and started to research what is wrong with me. I am in the beginning but reading all this gives me hope that some day things could be different that they are now. Thank you for this.

I have always been a dreamer and poet who feels nobody can not understannd me and the beauty of the (my) world. My home is huge mess as my life where I can not make any order even I try so hard. I can not make decisions at all and it makes impossible to know which boy I should date or what career should I choose. I also get easily depressed or if I am not depressed I am rather a never stopping duracel and in any case can not concentrate. Well I can but it is so hard... some things I am very interested off I can concentrate but then i can not do anything else. For me making doctor appointments or hairdresser appointments are huge tasks. I have always been good at school and if I could not manage to study well I made my life miserable and got depressed. From the tests I got ENFP and I wish to know how can you know what belongs to ADHD and what is only because of my personality? And is it worth taking medicine if the part of my person that I think is valuable is also vanished then?

Kisses to you all.

Posted by Anna -- March 4, 2006 05:37 PM

I'm curious about the Shelton info on depression:

When it comes to Depression, I found that INFP is the most likely of all the types to report suicidal thoughts in college (MBTI Manual, 1998) as well as having the highest level of depression of the 16 types (Shelton, MBTI Applications, 1996).

Do you own a copy of that book? It is rare and out of print...
Do you know where I can find a copy?

Love your site...
it is so creative-


Posted by Julia -- March 19, 2006 03:51 PM

Hi Julia,

Thanks for your comments. I don't have a copy of the book, but you can get one from the CAPT website: http://www.capt.org/catalog/MBTI-Book-60101.htm

I'm also thinking about setting up a chat room, since some people have expressed interest. More info to follow... (soon I hope, but ya'll know how it is with INFPs and procrastination...)

Posted by Carol -- March 20, 2006 03:58 AM

I am a 33 year old infp. I am on Celexa for depression and anxiety. My problem is that I'm too damn sensitive. I can fall into a depression if someone doesn't like me. Since I've had problems fitting in, there has been a lot of depression in my life. I don't know if I have ADD but I wouldn't be surprised. I spent my school days daydreaming and then studying at the last minute in order to catch up. My parents used to get so frustrated at my inattentiveness! My boyfriend will for example change something in the house and it will take me days to notice. I am notoriously messy and late all the time. I think us folks have found each other - we sure all sound a lot alike. Hearing that other people have had the same problems makes me feel better about my lack of fitting in throughout my life. Maybe we're all just a bit different. At least we're not alone.
On the up side, I have a wonderful long term relationship, so that saying that infp's are more likely to have relationship problems doesn't ring true for me. I think we have a lot of traits that are beneficial to having a relationship: sensitivity to the feelings of others, easy going, non-controlling temperaments, creativity (good for trying to understand someone else), and loving natures. Also, many of us are smart cookies - I'm fortunate to have a great career. So, I guess the lesson is to make peace with our personalities by recognizing and appreciating the gifts that come with the infp personality.

Posted by judith -- March 20, 2006 02:22 PM

We have a Yahoo Group!!!
This is the link:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/INFP_ADD

If people start joining we can have chat secions!
I can't wait.

Judith-you should so a search for "HSP" which many INFPs are. Maybe you'll find some tips you like for dealing with hypersensivitity.

Posted by Eli -- April 2, 2006 11:45 PM

We have a yahoo group now!!!
If we all join we can have live chat.
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/INFP_ADD

Posted by Eli -- April 2, 2006 11:47 PM

that's interesting. im an INTP, but im borderline thinking/feeling. Everything you say makes sense and is intelligent. I have depression/ADD/etc. IN's being rare, I think if we ran the world (and not the ES's) it would be a different place, but we dont.

Posted by ian -- April 15, 2006 01:59 PM

Thanks Ian for your compliments. Also, thanks to everyone who has left comments and shared your thoughts and feelings. It makes me feel great everytime someone says they can relate to what's being written here. While we may be far apart geographically and very different culturally etc., there's this bond that we all share which brings us close together. We have an understanding that sometimes even those closest to us may not be able to get.

Love to all of you,
cybette

Posted by Carol -- April 29, 2006 02:33 PM

Hi Everyone,

I am an INFP. I am pretty sure that I have ADD but can't afford testing and therapy. Like many other people here, I underperformed in school due to my lack of concentration and test anxiety. I have also had difficulty keeping a job. Although I have a lot of experience doing different things, employers have a hard time looking at my resume.

I have turned to meditation and Buddhism to help me solve my problems. I gave away almost all my stuff so that I don't have to worry about losing things or things getting messy. I have also limmited myself to certain projects so that I can finish them. Last, I try and meditate a lot so that I don't have a much junk in my head either.

I still have problems, don't get me wrong. However, I have found that my memory has improved. Also, I am not as late for appointments and paying bills. Last and most importantly, I don't feel as overwhelmed by my emotions.

I hope this helps. It was nice reading everyone's posting.

-John

Posted by John -- April 30, 2006 06:31 PM

Hi, my ex was an infp and he had bi-polar depression. I am my self a female intp and have had depressions when things went wrong. I have a website if you like to talk to other intp people adn register there; intpinternational@yahoogroups.com

Posted by myblupapillon -- May 10, 2006 03:26 PM

I was wandering around the web and stumbled onto this site. Wow! What a surprise to find that I have so much company as an INFP with ADD. However, it seems to me that there are very few men who have ADD (without an H), like me. In any case, thanks for starting this blog!

Like most ADDers, it doesn't matter that I have a digital watch with an alarm function, I am late to everything.

After much practice, I can stand up and give a speech, but it took a long time to get over the stage fright I had as a student. It wasn't until I had been in college for a while (6 majors, 250+ units, no degree) that I overcame it, but I still think of myself as terminally shy and "cold call" door to door sales is the last thing I would do, except perhaps for bookkeeping.

While I can do arithmetic when necessary (I love my programmable scientific calculator!), my checkbook is a mess. In part, that comes from using a debit card, which makes it difficult for me to keep track of every purchase in my check register, and in part it's the record keeping that I manage to forget to do way too often. And don't even talk about filing tax returns. For me, filing my own income tax returns is as much fun as a trip to the dentist -- without anesthesia.

I knew long ago that I should not be a bookkeeper or an accountant, so I picked something that is fun for me, tuning transmitters (I discovered amateur radio when I was 13), and that is how I became a broadcast engineer. Currently, I maintain four high power TV transmitters (30,000 watts each) for a TV station in the San Francisco Bay Area. This is a job I can do that very well, and with relatively little effort, which is probably why I have managed to keep it (one day per week) for twenty years. I like working solo on a mountain top, late at night. Although I work in television, I rarely watch TV to relax because I keep seeing all of the defects and mistakes. I guess that comes from having to find those mistakes during most of my working life. A few years ago I took another test and found that I am an auditory learner (along with about 30% of the population), so when I want to relax, I turn on my sound system.

I'm 63, and have known all my life that I am not like most people, but what I didn't know until about 20 years ago is that there was a name for my "condition" (ADD) and that I am not as crazy, stupid, or lazy as many have told me I am. About the same time I learned about ADD, I also learned I am a strong INFP, but I didn't realize there might be a connection between my ADD and my INFP personality type until I found this blog. Thanks and keep up the good work!

email to: rgetsla (at) yahoo (dot) com

The above email address is written the way it is because this system will not accept an email address that cannot be read and copied by a "bot" used to collect valid email addresses for spammers. I currently receive more than 200 spam messages every day, and I am sure that is because I used to put my email address in "bot" readable form, until I learned what a "bot" is.

Posted by LinearBob -- May 19, 2006 09:22 AM

WOWA! I had noooo idea! I mean I've been in psychotherapy on and off since I was 12 and been doing tests and stuff, but they just never seemed to get it right. When trying to describe me they'd have parts right, but I'd always say there was more to it then just that. And as I'm in university now and having a hard time combining that with my psychological instability I went searching for a different approach and found it last week in a psychotherapist who specializes in personality types. We did a test, I'm an INFP and so she gave me some sites and authors and said: just explore for a while and then come back in a couple of weeks. And oh my gosh I have never read such good descriptions of how I feel as now when reading the INFP descriptions. It's as if I wrote them myself. (which amazingly is another characteristic I share with the INFP type)
I think at last I've found the right way able to deal with my everlasting depression. I actually believe the depression is a part of me and shouldn't get completely kicked out, just don't want any major suicidal episodes anymore. But I repeat WOWA I'm just so amazed I can relate to basically everything I'm reading about and by other INFP's. So glad to know I can discuss it with people who'll truly understand what I'm saying!
So thanx all for contributing!

Posted by candace -- June 1, 2006 09:20 AM

An extremely sad and lonely thing about my type of depression, being INFP, is that i am constantly aware that there is this beautiful, enlightened possibility of existence where minds gel together amazingly, and the possibility of freedom of happiness---but the soulessness and drudgery of everyday existence (like waiting for the bus surrounded by dirty traffic, having a repetitive job, having to make small talk, especially about what i am going to do with my future)---the loss of magic on a regular basis leads to a spiritual deadening. then i start to feel tragic. Where did that old green magic go? i know it's out there but i cannot channel it. Is this due to a personality flaw, of having the INFP all out of balance????
no wonder we are the most prone to suicide.
then on a positive note, have the potential to be more blissfully happy, when times are good, than most people....................................

Posted by Isabel -- June 2, 2006 06:33 PM

The young photographer glanced at Roark??s face?Xand thought of something that had puzzled him for a long time: he had always wondered why the sensations one felt in dreams were so much more intense than anything one could experience in waking reality?Xwhy the horror was so total and the ecstasy so complete?Xand what was that extra quality which could never be recaptured afterward; the quality of what he felt when he walked down a path through the tangled green leaves in a dream, in an air full of expectation, of causeless, utter rapture?Xand when he awakened he could not explain it, it had just been a path through some woods. He thought of that because he saw that extra quality for the first time in waking existence, he saw it in Roark??s face lifted to the building.
-----from The Fountainhead, by Ayn Rand

Posted by Isabel -- June 2, 2006 07:05 PM

Hi, I just wanted to say thanks for your work on this site. My name's Mike. I'm 38. I'm on Concerta for ADD and FXT40 for dysthymia, so I guess I can help support the theory at the top of the page. I look forward to reading this in its entirity, however not now since I have a hundred other things I should be doing right now.

Posted by Mike -- June 4, 2006 08:25 AM

Wow,its amazing how so many different people can be grouped into an INFP/ADD camp.Ialways thought i surpassed definition,feels good to be understood!Dream on

Posted by Ismaeel Abed -- June 8, 2006 10:06 AM

I feel saddened that I have so much to offer and so much potential but due to the continuous changing of "what I want to do", I never get anywhere and thus feel continuously depressed. The truth is I don't know what to do... I move from being a poet to an artist to an entrepreneur... until I think about the destruction of the rain forests and the depletion of the sea, hunting of whales etc and I get depressed and lose focus. I am bright, sharp and intuitive but because of the way I am, I see others getting ahead OUT THERE IN THE WORLD, earning excellent money etc... and I am still wondering around in circles... feeling lost, wondering how I will enter & survive in THAT WORLD OUT THERE, get more depressed and wonder what the point is if this feeling is never going to go away... and if the situation doesn't change. What is the answer to finding happiness/contentment/career in life as an INFP? Is there no answer? I have been for career counselling... but there's something in ME that prevents me finding it or going there. Any comments or help would be greatly appreciated. Otherwise the joy of life that I feel is replaced with "let me go just like the rain forests and the whales are going".

Posted by may -- June 22, 2006 06:25 AM

How many of you here have been tested as gifted? I have read that INFP/INTP is the most common personality type amoung the gifted. Also, gifted people are commonly misdiagnosed or dual-diagnosed with ADD and Bipolar. Many comments of the INFP personality on this site are very similar to traits of giftedness: sensitivity, intuition, emotionally intense, etc. Just wondering how closely related the two are.

Posted by gnat -- June 28, 2006 02:17 PM

Hi and yes, I'm an INFP and no matter how long it's been since I've taken the test, I remain one. And I can see we are all brethren. I am under treatment for depression (successfully I might add, because my anxiety is managed). However, I'm always at the brink of financial disaster because I cannot handle money - the responsibility frightens me. I suspect I have ADD based on the stupid mistakes I make at work. My dreams and imagination can be beautiful companions; a wonderful concept or the fantastic sunset or the expression of love can move me to tears. When responsibilities become too much for me to handle, I cocoon and see or talk to no one outside of work, and I love being alone because I cannot be judged. Sounds like you, eh? What I need is to be taken care of by a loving and wealthy man who takes me as I am and has enough money for me to fritter endlessly. I think we INFP's just don't handle the real world very well. We should all have enough money to pay others to deal with the facts of life so we can do what we do best, which is to care for others, adore beauty and truth, read and write and create...okay, enough rambling here. :-)

Posted by Erika -- June 29, 2006 07:20 PM

Wow, I hate to be redundant, and say what has been said so many times here, but it's amazing how so many of you express the same feelings that I have.

I am 33 and have recently found out that I am an INFP. Very heavy on the P. I have always had such a hard time living everday life and doing everyday tasks. I dream of a better world where every conversation has meaning and we all feel connected with each other. But in reality, I feel so disconnected from everyone.

I have been battling depression my whole life and have done a pretty good job of fighting it off on my own, but I just can't seem to shake it this time. I constantly feel like I should be doing "something important" but I have no idea what it is. I get so depressed thinking about all the time I'm wasting and begin to feel that my life is worthless and that I have no reason to exist. What is my purpose? Why do I feel so strongly that I have a purpose, but I can never find.

Just like many of you, I get excited about something and think to myself "I'm going to do this" but then after a few days or weeks I get bogged down in the details of it all and lost interest.

I feel like I will never accomplish anything and I am mortified that my son will grow and look at me and think of me as lazy. How do we get over this depression and find and purpose and actually get something done?

Chip

Posted by Chip -- July 4, 2006 04:46 AM

Erika, BINGO! You must have been reading my mind because your thoughts match mine so well, except that I'm 63, male, and not likely to find a wealthy woman to be my wife. My wife of almost 40 years expects me to do most of the earning and to pay our bills.

There are so many "dead on" comments above, especially the ones about INFP = giftedness plus a great imagination, that I am totally amazed.

I know something about giftedness, and I am here to tell you that being "gifted" can be more of a curse than a blessing. I missed third grade because I did too well on some standardized tests. I do not recommend dealing with a "gifted" child who is bored in school and "spacing out" because he or she already knows what the rest of the class is learning for the first time, by allowing the school people to "skip" your child ahead a grade. After I went directly from second grade to fourth grade, it was many years before I felt like I "belonged" with the other kids in my classes. And even now, fifty years later, I still feel like an outsider some of the time.

My longhand handwriting is illegible, at least partly because I missed the transition from printing to longhand in the third grade I never had. Fortunately for me, I met an equally gifted woman in one of my college classes. Everything she wrote was in italic printing. She gave me the title of a book on the Italic hand, which I immediately bought. I spent the better part of a summer learning italic printing, and now I use it for everything. No one complains about my handwriting.

Now that I have a computer, I use my keyboard as much as possible. Fortunately, I found an easy to use word processor with a very good spelling checker. I use it for everything (including this post) by using the Windows "clipboard" to copy and paste between one "window" and another. Using my word processor and the Windows copy, cut, and paste functions, I am able to find (and fix) most of my grammar and spelling mistakes before I make my thoughts public.

My "secret weapon" word processor is called Cetus WordPad, which was intended to replace Microsoft Wordpad in Windows 95. Cetus no longer supports or distributes Cetus WordPad, but they released it years ago as unsupported "freeware" and if you would like, I will email a zipped copy of Cetus Wordpad to you. The whole thing fits into a 1.6 megabyte zip file, including the word processor, a great spelling checker, and even a thesaurus.

Email to: rgetsla (at) yahoo (dot) com

Posted by LinearBob -- July 4, 2006 06:34 AM

"An extremely sad and lonely thing about my type of depression, being INFP, is that i am constantly aware that there is this beautiful, enlightened possibility of existence where minds gel together amazingly, and the possibility of freedom of happiness---but the soulessness and drudgery of everyday existence (like waiting for the bus surrounded by dirty traffic, having a repetitive job, having to make small talk, especially about what i am going to do with my future)---the loss of magic on a regular basis leads to a spiritual deadening. then i start to feel tragic. Where did that old green magic go? i know it's out there but i cannot channel it. Is this due to a personality flaw, of having the INFP all out of balance????
no wonder we are the most prone to suicide.
then on a positive note, have the potential to be more blissfully happy, when times are good, than most people....................................
Posted by Isabel -- June 2, 2006 06:33 PM "

I was going to post here but, Wow that is my life story summed up (To be or not to be is the ?)

Posted by Dave -- July 5, 2006 06:19 PM

I was in fact in a "gifted education program" in middle & junior high schools ... but I'm plagued by my inability to do something really well. either i lose interest after a while, or lose confidence when i don't meet my own expectations. (and you know how high we set those bars no matter how much we remind ourselves to be realistic.)

Posted by Carol -- July 11, 2006 04:18 AM

Hi all. I swear, I always thought I must have been switched at birth because I never fit in. It seems I've finally found my "people", here, on this website.

As an INFP child, I was always told to "get my head out of the *&^^ books and go outside to play with the other children!!!". I would play, with my best friends, but hated having to interact with other kids. As an INFP teen I constantly missed the school bus, was late for class because I either couldn't FIND my locker, or once found, couldn't remember the combination. Even if I did manage that, I'd usually go to the wrong class. My marks weren't great because I lost track of assignments. My teachers didn't think I was smart because, unless the teacher held my interest, I'd drift off into my own little world. University was much better because I majored in psychology, which I loved...but I had to work full time too, and it was too stressful...not the work, but having to be around people for so long with no private time to "recharge". I became a teacher, and was a good teacher. My kids loved me and I always looked out for the kids who didn't fit in. As long as I had a Teacher's Assistant, things were fine. I had all of the creative ideas, and she made sure I actually remembered that I wanted to do them, and she made sure I got to meetings on time. Then I taught alone, and the teaching and kids part was still great, but I kept losing track of staff meetings and committee meetings and I thought I was losing my mind. No matter how hard I tried, I was always late or missing something. Even if I wrote it down. There's more to teaching than teaching, and it was too stressful. After taking several years off for a nervous breakdown (which aren't even called nervous breakdowns anymore; I forget what they're called), and getting diagnosed with PTSD, bipolar disorder type 2, and possibly ADD, I finally realized that I need several things in order to function. Maybe this will help some of the young folks on here, and maybe some of the older people can relate. I need to live in a small city or in the country, not a large busy city where I'm overstressed as soon as I walk out the door due to the amount of people and fast pace of life. I need lots of time alone. I need friends who understand this, and I need to stay away from intrusive people who don't respect boundaries. I need to take time to dream. I need a friend (or a therapist) who gives me a feeling of being accepted and understood. I need pets, and a garden, and lots of walks near water, and daily physical activity (swimming and walking). I need a job that lets me use my creativity. I just wrote my first 2 books, and if I can get the query letters in the mail, who knows, maybe they'll even be pubished!

Anyway, I'm sorry this post is so long, but I was just so excited to find people who seem to be like me. It doesn't happen very often (I have friends who need to go white water rafting in order to get the same feeling I get from walking into a room full of strangers!).

Take care, and thanks for listening (reading, lol)!
Kat

Posted by Kat -- July 21, 2006 09:07 AM

Hello everybody,

I just learned about the infp thing and that I am one of them. I have never being diagnose with ADD but sounds like something I might have..

I did have severe depression in my early 20's, and I even thought about suicide. Now I am 26 years old and even though it has only be a few years I am and feel totally different, I never took medication for I am against overcoming extreme states of mind with medication, BUT that is only me, I do respect if others want or need medication.

What helped me the most is that I got to know, understand and accept myself without judging or wishing I were different, I found many answers within myself and Budism helped a great deal, which I do not see as a religion. I took 1 year of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, CBT, which was helpfull but just the beggining of my trip! I also read and researched a lot about human kind and nature and the life of people I admire and I realized that the types and tags doesnt really matter, what matters is to be at peace within you and make the best out of who or what you are. I do believe strongly we need of everybody and I am starting to think that we all have something to do here, weather it be discovering something to save lives, raising happy children or overcoming hardships in life to latter be an example and inspiration to the new generations.

I must add, in order to start dropping tags and diagnoses I had to research them, understand them well first, once I was inside out I chose to drop the limitations of one diagnose, mental illness, personality type, etc. Also I am just a begginer here! there are lots of people though, who left their work and research for us to use and understand ourselves better, thus understanding everybody and everything. Sheeesh, some rambling here :p

May all of you find peace and happiness!
(btw english is not my first language, hopefully I make sense)

Posted by nomind -- July 21, 2006 11:53 AM

Wow, it's weird how hearing many of you struggle with depression too makes me feel better. Not that I want you to struggle, but knowing I'm not alone helps so much.

Here's a question...if anybody comes across this page in the future and makes it all the way to the bottom...do any of you INFP'ers hate talking on the phone as much as I do? These days I loathe small talk, even though 5 years ago in college I loved it and wanted to meet everyone.

I'm borderline I/E NFP, but the last few years I feel like I've become more of an introvert. Actually, I feel like I have these needs that are impossible to balance...When I'm around people too long I get tired, and when I'm alone too long I get really lonely. And it's hard to treat my loneliness by picking up the phone because I hate talking on the phone...unless I manage to get to some deep topic that really interests me, but I always feel like I'm draining people by being too serious and talking about such heavy things.

Posted by doug -- August 2, 2006 01:22 PM

Hi doug, I hate talking on the phone too. Of course, when needed, I'm more than happy and willing to provide a listening ear for someone who needs it, but I don't have the habit of calling someone up and talk for half an hour everyday. I work with cell phones but I don't use them much. I'd rather talk face to face. And while I enjoy the company of my family and friends, like you mentioned I do feel drained after a while. I don't usually have the problem of getting lonely if I spend too much time alone because I'm very introverted. Like I mentioned in a recent post here, I tend to leave people out (of my "world") instead of the other way around. I need to be better about this... especially not to push out the people closest and dearest to me.

Posted by Carol -- August 3, 2006 08:35 AM

Oh boy. Reading this has really been enlightening. I have tested as an INFP, strong in each aspect, for a long time now. I'm 28 and have spent the last decade completely unable to find my "path". I have switched jobs oodles of times, and had none for more than 8 months at one time. I dated three different men, then broke up with them, and dated all three over again at least once, within the last 3 years. I just lost the person I thought was my best friend, basically because she judged all of this by telling me I "truly have committment issues", needed to "grow up", realize I wasn't perfect and not blame the world for my problems, etc. I was deeply offended because it hurts me that my behavior could be interpreted that way, I feel misunderstood, and feel that my real problem has nothing to do with thinking I'm perfect, blaming others, or lack of committment-- it intuitively feels more like I have trusted others too much (including her judgement!), not trusted myself enough or respected my uniqueness, and given TOO much committment to the WRONG things, as desperate measures to try to regain stability in my life and feel normal and productive-- it seemed like a vicious cycle of grasping at straws, getting restless, depressed and anxious, then starting all over again.

When I was a kid, my parents always thought something was "chemically" wrong with me, though I never saw a therapist. I was always told by others that I was "weird" and "oversensitive". I was put in the gifted talented section of school...got good grades as a matter of will power, although, I hated my college major (English) and felt something of a fraud for getting the good grades. I had plenty of problems in the workforce, too-- never quite got fired, but was always considered an odd duck, if not the target of blatant derision, and often considered airheaded, scatterbrained, disorganized, way "out there", or just downright strange.

I do wonder if taking a drug would somehow snap me out of my usual state of desperation and anxiety, and help me focus long enough to achieve my goals. I think I hit rock bottom recently, while traveling abroad, alone, in a very stressful situation. I think that was motivation to help me decide, finally, once and for all, to go after a pipe dream I've nursed in the back of my head for years, and go to graduate school (for psychology, hopefully). I decided I'd ruminated long enough on the matter, and needed to stop second-guessing and just do it without letting my usual INFP qualities get in the way. (funny how the same qualities that have the potential to help me become a good psychologist are also doing their best to prevent me from getting there!) While I still battle the anxiety, restlessness, worry, low self-esteem and doubt every day, and am terrified of failure, I have felt happier and more stable since just MAKING this decision. I had to make a few other life alterations as well, which are helping: forced myself to get organized with a calendar, started reading Buddhist stuff, force myself to exercise and get outdoors everyday, avoid spending time with people I feel are judgemental or patronizing, ...etc. One of the difficult things has been friends trying to give advice that, because they simply cannot seem to even begin to understand me, give terrible, and sometimes hurtful advice or value judgements about my character! I have been trying to cultivate compassion towards these people...but at the same time, I've had to isolate myself from them in order to get things on track.

So, I am hoping that my graduate school plan is authentic and not just another desperate move that will wind up in frustration and failure...how is one to know? I also am hoping to overcome my problems without getting on drugs. But wonder if I'd be a good candidate for them, and if they would make this easier!

Posted by Leslie -- August 6, 2006 04:21 AM

Great site.
I??m a borderline I/E NFP. I??ve always thought I had ADD and I??ve been in therapy twice. Since Grad School (MSW-Social Worker), I??ve been a Social Worker, Math Teacher, Tennis Instructor, Software Trainer and Software Programmer. I??ve also dabbled in Acting and Writing and Public Speaking****.
I??ve always hoped that I would find a passion. When I love something, I give 100%; unfortunately, I always seem to be let down.
I haven??t seriously thought about relationships because I have such a low tolerance for boredom that I would hate to subject a wife and/or kids to the financial insecurity that results from it.
Although, I??ve never tried anti-depressants, I am a more than recreation user of marijuana. By the way, although I don??t buy into the ??pot is the gateway to harder drugs?? crap, it is CRACK for INFPs!!!!! You think 10 times more, but do 10 times less :-)
**** I really like Acting Writing and Public Speaking. It has scared the crap out of me because it opens me up to criticism, and by the time I??ve felt that I actually liked something I??ve created, I??ve rewritten the hell out of it and have missed my audition or a submission deadline. However when overcome my inner critic and I??ve nailed it (speeches, auditions) it has felt great. I??m pushing myself to do more. In addition, the new roles to act or the different subjects to write about is great for the ADDer. Anyway, hang in there fellow INFPs
-steve

Posted by Steve -- August 14, 2006 05:14 PM

Hi all, back a few months later. There is hope for people like us, there is hope and I found some.
Our change for the better needs to be inward, and should include a spiritual slant. Sounds difficult for those who really have no faith, who can't just create a belief out of thin air. I for one can't.
But there is always another way to think about things...
Through meditation you can build disclipline and self acceptance, and respect for reality--three things that INFPs really need.I advise all of you to research a little term called The Witness Consciousness...INFPs have an intense thirst for love and happiness. That is at the core of our soul and it is a beautiful, rare thing in its intensity---and therefore depressed people need to realize that they are more than just their emotions, thoughts and actions. There IS a higher potential, a freedom.
I find that it goes well with a psychological term called Determinism.
Leads to acceptance and peace.
Seriously, guys, there is a way out of depression, I swear it...email me if ever you want to talk.

Posted by Isabel -- August 14, 2006 06:38 PM

Life is great when I actually live it. Even if things aren't going according to my desires (my "perfection"), and it's so great to be able to see my agency in the world (that I can effect change). I have always been one to experience the negatives of this personality type (self-doubt, dissillusionment, social anxiety, OCD, clinical depression, procrastination, lack of focus if I'm not interested, being chronically late, struggling in relationships), but I also know our personalities can be sources of strength. Our introverted feeling translates into driven passion in work or for a project. I find I accomplish the most when I feel intensely. (Often I'm ANGRY when that happens, but it can also be another feeling) Intuition has helped me working with people and objects/projects. I think of things which others find useful. I have been learning to allow myself to do things I enjoy or seem to need (alone time) without feeling guilty and lazy and as if I'm procrastinating.

Live long and prosper.

Posted by Evie -- September 6, 2006 10:39 PM

For all INFP ADDers out there:

Have any of you had trouble with ADD medication? I am wondering if my personality type, my "temperment," how I'm wired has anything to do with my negative responses to ADD medicine. So far nothing works: Strattera made me feel exhausted, depressed, congested and foggy; Adderall made my heart race, wore me out, gave me the jitters even on an extremely low dose; Ritalin made me feel sad and depressed when it was wearing off each day. NONE of these gave any positive results. Zero improvement in attention. Are there any INFPs with a similar experience?? Also, do most of you have your ADD compounded by depression? I just got out of school, my ADD was diagnosed a few months ago and this is the most depressed I've been in my life.

Posted by Mary -- September 14, 2006 08:21 PM

great to find this. i think just the process of realising I am an INFP will help me with my issues of self-acceptance. I have pushed myself very hard to be something I am not - organised, efficient, socially outgoing, successful in my study and career. Luckily I am academically sucessful but simply through sheer will power to get the thing done! Anyway the pushing and forcing of my personality has resulted in extreme extreme exhaustion - and by extreme I mean Chronic Fatigue Syndrome extreme -

It is amazing to realise I simply need to come to terms with myself some more to be happier. Yes I am medicated - for depression, migraines - I have been in psychotherapy for years, and suicidal. I love writing more than anything in my life ... I have no issues with ADD though. Otherwise I am a typical INFP!

I have found that thinking what I am going to do with my life and making a concrete decision about it has given me a lot of peace. Try and decide on a goal that you feel is worthwhile and slowly work towards it. Be forgiving of yourself!!

I am going to go off and research Buddhism, and Determinism ... thanks for that :)

xxx

Posted by C -- September 18, 2006 02:56 AM

Heavens have parted and I hear singing...ooahhhh!!!

Can relate to most everything. Most likely I have ADD, haven't gotten around to it. I am late all the time and a slob. It drives everyone crazy around me. I have anxiety about giving speeches(mainly on things I don't believe in) and space a lot of the day away it seems. I actually did door to door cold calling for a job for 8 years(copier sales) I have just enough E in me to fake it pretty well. Also, I do bookeeping now for a living(yes, I never thought I could do it. The kicker? I do it at home on my own time. That is the only way I could pull it off. A friend -intj- is my "boss.") Corporate America was the worst for me. I always had to act like everyone else so I would not become the scapegoat in the tribe.

Have known I am an INFP for 10+ years. I was adopted into an TJ family as an infant. OMG, talk about having to build up your own self esteem. And talk about not knowing who you were in ANY way(you counselors take note!! This Myers Briggs stuff is genetic!!lol) All I knew is that I was "irresponsible" and of "average intelligence." Well, I meet my birthfamily and find out they are all really smart-went to the top schools in the country-and they were like me. It p'd me off. Suffice it to say I have had a lot of practice developing a "nurturing inner parent" voice. lol Jungian stuff seminal. Archetypes, as well as type theory explained a lot. Would only see a Jungian/oriented therapist now.

My wife is an INFP so from that perspective we are on the same page. It is great. We are leaning towards home schooling our son for a while because most of organized schooling/grading/testing benefits the T's and J's and why do I want my son to finish behind them in their system at every turn. I enjoy learning so much-but in my own way. I don't like competitive "learning." School ruined learning for me when I was younger. I don't want my son coming home thinking he is a failure at 7 years old like me when I didn't make it into the smart reading group. Maybe when he has a better sense of who he is should he go in that environment. INFP parenting very hard. Probably the hardest type to be a parent. Parenting difficult mainly because you have to be organized and on top of things. Babies have to be on schedules, kids need routines...But we are all so tight as a family. My wife stays home and I work at home and we spend a lot of time together. I love that my own family is so close.

Took Dexidrene ONE TIME. lol Never felt so organized and focused in my life. I thought I could have gone to medical school and had a part time job to boot. I remember thinking, "omg, if this is what the T's and J's are feeling then I am getting so ripped off." I could not go to sleep that night until 4 am and I could not stop cleaning my house. I remember seeing cassette tapes on a window sill I hadn't noticed in a year. It scared me because I had no intuition at all on that drug. None. But man, I could clean and *prioritize.* I use caffiene and sugar mostly now. I tried some ADD meds and they gave me a huge headache. Omega 3's and vitaman B help me. So does St. John's wort.

Before I got married I had a good dating life. Mostly long term rel's. Women liked that they could talk with me(just gay enough is what one of them said.) I waited a long time to get married and have kids-until 42. Probably because of the perfection thing. Also, I read that if 75% of women are feelers then that meant there were probably only 1 million or so INFP men in the country. No wonder I always felt different around other men. Having a sensitive side is not desireable when you are playing sports -lol. Heard the gay rumors -always knew I wasn't, just a plain old sensitive INFP man. Most of my guy friends are either INFP or INTP's. They seem to be the only ones I hang with for very long.

Hopes this helps some of you younger INFP's. God bless you all my peeps!

Posted by Scott -- September 22, 2006 02:59 AM

Heavens have parted and I hear singing...ooahhhh!!!

Can relate to most everything. Most likely I have ADD, haven't gotten around to it. I am late all the time and a slob. It drives everyone crazy around me. I have anxiety about giving speeches(mainly on things I don't believe in) and space a lot of the day away it seems. I actually did door to door cold calling for a job for 8 years(copier sales) I have just enough E in me to fake it pretty well. Also, I do bookeeping now for a living(yes, I never thought I could do it. The kicker? I do it at home on my own time. That is the only way I could pull it off. A friend -intj- is my "boss.") Corporate America was the worst for me. I always had to act like everyone else so I would not become the scapegoat in the tribe.

Have known I am an INFP for 10+ years. I was adopted into an TJ family as an infant. OMG, talk about having to build up your own self esteem. And talk about not knowing who you were in ANY way(you counselors take note!! This Myers Briggs stuff is genetic!!lol) All I knew is that I was "irresponsible" and of "average intelligence." Well, I meet my birthfamily and find out they are all really smart-went to the top schools in the country-and they were like me. It p'd me off. Suffice it to say I have had a lot of practice developing a "nurturing inner parent" voice. lol Jungian stuff seminal. Archetypes, as well as type theory explained a lot. Would only see a Jungian/oriented therapist now.

My wife is an INFP so from that perspective we are on the same page. It is great. We are leaning towards home schooling our son for a while because most of organized schooling/grading/testing benefits the T's and J's and why do I want my son to finish behind them in their system at every turn. I enjoy learning so much-but in my own way. I don't like competitive "learning." School ruined learning for me when I was younger. I don't want my son coming home thinking he is a failure at 7 years old like me when I didn't make it into the smart reading group. Maybe when he has a better sense of who he is should he go in that environment. INFP parenting very hard. Probably the hardest type to be a parent. Parenting difficult mainly because you have to be organized and on top of things. Babies have to be on schedules, kids need routines...But we are all so tight as a family. My wife stays home and I work at home and we spend a lot of time together. I love that my own family is so close.

Took Dexidrene ONE TIME. lol Never felt so organized and focused in my life. I thought I could have gone to medical school and had a part time job to boot. I remember thinking, "omg, if this is what the T's and J's are feeling then I am getting so ripped off." I could not go to sleep that night until 4 am and I could not stop cleaning my house. I remember seeing cassette tapes on a window sill I hadn't noticed in a year. It scared me because I had no intuition at all on that drug. None. But man, I could clean and *prioritize.* I use caffiene and sugar mostly now. I tried some ADD meds and they gave me a huge headache. Omega 3's and vitaman B help me. So does St. John's wort.

Before I got married I had a good dating life. Mostly long term rel's. Women liked that they could talk with me(just gay enough is what one of them said.) I waited a long time to get married and have kids-until 42. Probably because of the perfection thing. Also, I read that if 75% of women are feelers then that meant there were probably only 1 million or so INFP men in the country. No wonder I always felt different around other men. Having a sensitive side is not desireable when you are playing sports -lol. Heard the gay rumors -always knew I wasn't, just a plain old sensitive INFP man. Most of my guy friends are either INFP or INTP's. They seem to be the only ones I hang with for very long.

Hopes this helps some of you younger INFP's. God bless you all my peeps!

Posted by Scott -- September 22, 2006 03:02 AM

WOW!
WOOOW!

You know that feeling of beeing speechless? Well, I'm an INFP and I've been taking antidepressants for a couple of years. I've never been diagnosed as an ADD, but this part describes me perfectly:

"One common misconception about ADD is that many people assume ADDers cannot pay attention. This is completely false. In fact, ADDers are known to "hyperfocus" on anything which captures their attention, to the point where it is difficult to get their attention. It is true, however, that a higher degree of interest is necessary before the ADDer can pay attention."

That's me. And sure, there's always been that thing of never finishing what I start (except when there is a lot of pressure, which makes me feel exhausting, but still works).

The only thing I have to say is that it's good to know that I'm not alone, although meeting this 1% of the population can be tough.

:)

Posted by Renata Palladino -- October 7, 2006 11:07 PM

I've come across a good site that talks about workout routines. I think you'll find it very useful:

http://www.weight-lifting-workout-routines.com

Posted by Maurice -- October 24, 2006 05:10 PM

hey everyone.i'm an infp and i'm a pisces. i loved what everyone has written. i feel like i've walked into a help group for alcoholics or something lol. :) i am 22 yrs old and i have the absolute worst time making desicions. i listen to everyone else and second guess myself a thousound times. how do i ever know if i'll be able to accomplish my goals? how do i know what i'l be good at? well thanks everyone for the wonderful posts. very helpful. :) muah to everyone :)

Posted by christina -- November 3, 2006 04:02 PM

This website is the best medicine I have come across in 51 years!!! and I am no stranger to the world of antidrepressants, anti anxiety medication, psychiatry and pyscotherapy.

As I read these posts I think to myself, why do we have to wait so long to find a bit of understanding and clarity? Wouldn't we all have wished for the light to be turned on many years ago? and I'm curious if people could find out their personality type at a much younger age. How old do you have to be for Myers Briggs testing to be accurate?

For a far back as I can remember, I have been misunderstood and so over-sensitive that anxiety has been a permanent state of mind for me. For the past two weeks I have been on pins and needles waiting to hear the outcome of my testing for AD/HD (without the H) and what my physician would prescribe. I got the results just 5 days ago. It turns out that my symptoms of ADHD are "quite significant" and my doctor is taking it slow with the meds by trying out Srattera first.

I basically did the "self diagnosis" that so many of us have to do. For me it all started with an internet search on being messy and unable to part with "stuff" (ie. sentinmental posessions, things I thought I could transform into something more beautiful, and Collections of various things such as "Blue & White china, Old linens and lace, antique cameras and the list goes on and on)

As I was doing this internet research, of course I would follow all manner of other links as ADD people are prone to do, and began to understand myself and why I do the things I do that drive others around me nuts, particularly my husband of 26 years. Suddenly my forgetfulness, sensitivity, low self esteem, procrastination, perfectionism, impatience and a whole host of other shortcomings began to make sense now that I had found other adult women and men that were experiencing the same problems that had plauged them for years.

This is going to be a long post!

I have had quite a few bumps in the road of life, including ther near death of our son during delivery and subsequent hospitalization, losing our business due to two major robberies. First one the thieves broke through the roof of the building next door and tunelled directly into our vault resulting in a huge finacial loss that was not insured as we were just taking over the business and getting insurance quotes. The second robbery 2 years later was by a veitnamese gang from a major city a few hundred miles away that the police couldn't infiltrate and the insurance company buried a very pertinent rule deep in documentation that was 3" thick and refused to pay the claim. We went from a life of comfort and prestige with nice cars, a house that was paid for and memberships to clubs to.. financial strife, and 3 mortgages on our house, loss of 2 incomes and a great deal of marital stress. I became clinically depressed but my husband did not allow "mental ilness" in his family and did not want me on medication. The reason being that his schizophrenic brother had commited suicide a few years before, and as we were losing our business, his mother went into a depression so deep that she required electro shock therapy to bring her back to reality! so therefore I was forbidden to be unstable! The next 3 years brought more problems with job losses and self esteem issues in my husband. If only he had realized it's O.K. to seek help when your world is falling apart and it's not a sign of weakness. Then my son was badly bitten in the face by a friend's dog. He required plastic surgery and laser treatments for months afterwards, next my daughter was hit by a car when she was riding her bike. By this time I was a complete basket case, thinking my life would be filled with nothing but s--- and bad luck. finally I went on medication, and although it helped a bit, I never felt like myself, just a drugged out version of who I used to be. So what did I do? I self medicated with alcohol, very bad move, right. Eventually I came to grips with things and got feeling good again. Wham! I didn't even know what hit me! I was walking our dog for the first time ever, (hubby, who always walks the dog was stiff from working out at the gym so I volunteered to take our miniature schnauzer for his nightly walk). I was barefoot and wearing summer P.J's, it was 10 p.m. and dark out so I figured no one would see me. A few seconds after I left the house, my little boy said "mommy you can't go all by yourself, I'm coming with you" as we rounded the corner to the next street we were charged by 2 full grown German Shepherds! I screamed to my son to get safe in someone's house. These dogs were biting my dogs throat and hind quarters so I scooped him up and ran. The next thing I knew, I was on the sidewalk bleeding from my hands & knees from falling and the two dogs were just waiting with teeth bared. I could feel a strange sensation although I felt no pain but my calf was torn wide open with nerves and muscle spilling out the wide open hole! I grabbed my dog's retractable leash by the string part and started swinging it in an arc to keep them back and I screamed as loud as I could "Help Me" A man came out on his porch with a golf club in his hand and said "come over here" It's amazing what the human body is capable of when it's in schock and I managed to hobble the 100 feet to his porch and up the stairs with those two Sheherds following me the whole way. The lady said "I'll call the ambulance" but I knew I was losing too much blood and asked her to get me something to use as a tourniquet first, and call my husband second so he could locate our son for me. I was scared to death thinking what those two hyped up dogs could do to a boy weighing 60 lbs. When the ambulance arrived, the dogs were right there and so the attendants couldn't get out until the police corralled the 2 dogs. The EMS guys had to revive me as I was unconcious and they spent 20 minutes attending to my wound and stabilizing me before rushing me to the hospital. The emergency Doctor said it looked like a shark attack and the cops that came to take my statement turned green when they saw the carnage and said the would take it the next day. Nobody ever said a thing about PTSD to myself or my husband and we had no idea it even existed. I went through six months of physiotherapy in a depressed state because I couldn't function physically but nothing prepared me for the emotional turmoil I suffered for the next 5 years due to post traumatic stress. I am self employed as an interior decorator and of course lost my income, the woman who owned these 2 dogs was on welfare and had no insurance so in addition to my lost wages I had no legal recourse for compensation of any kind. I would have gone through the entire ordeal again if I could only have suffered the physical aspects including the loss of feeling in my calf due to the nerve damge that couldn't be repaired,and not the emotional hell I lived after this attack. I had constant nightmares, panic attacks and eventually I ended up with agoraphobia. The psychiatrist that I was
treated by had me so doped up I couldn't even make a cup of instant coffee. She convinced me that most of the bad things that had happened in my adult life were due to my husband and so I began to be spiteful towards him. Of course he retaliated by saying " I can't take this anymore, I'm leaving" The strange thing was, I didn't even bat an eyelash, I was drugged to the point of not being able to feel any emotion and I told him that was fine. Of course he didn't really mean it, he was just too frustrated and scared to have a wife that was acting like a robot. The only way I was saved from the worst possible psychiatrist anyone could get was sheer luck. She hired me to redecorate her home while I was her patient! Aside from being totally unprofessional, she perhaps allowed me to glimpse what hell her own personal life was like, a total shambles, and so dysfunctional. It was the wake up call I needed after 2.5 years under her care and nothing but worsening symptoms to say "no more" and I scraped up the money for a decent therapist and within 12 visits I was drug free and on my way to feeling so much better. It took a long time to be free of the panic attacks when I would see a big dark dog, and I still get nightmares once in a while.

Now I am dealing with finding out at this age that I have ADD and trying to find the right medication for me. Additionally I am experiencing pre-menopausal symptoms and all the crap that goes along with it, which I have read is so much worse with ADD... insomnia, mood swings, spending sprees, even poorer memory and concentration issues.

So I hope now that I know my ADD would have exacerbated the depression, anxiety, and PTSD I'll be a little kinder to myself, and realize it's not an excuse but it is an explanation.

Best of luck to all you special people reading and contributing to this thread, and giving hope to so many that are craving compassion and understanding in their daily life.

Posted by -- November 6, 2006 09:49 PM

wow, I'm speechless after reading the previous comment... (and wow, so many comments began with "wow"). I don't know if writing this entry on my blog ever helped anyone but I'm pleasantly surprised and fully appreciate all the responses I've received. and I think all of you helped me more than you realise.

As for how old one has to be for MBTI to be accurate, I'm not sure about others, but I was first typed at age 16 and never had different results since then. Perhaps it helped that my first test was the full official version administered by MBTI professionals... although I do know people who have done the same test at the same age who later typed differently. I think it also depends on how much inclination you have for each dichotomy (first thing I mentioned in my entry). Because if, say, you have weak preference for two of them, immediately there's four likely results that you'll get.

Posted by Carol -- November 9, 2006 01:44 AM

oh, and it has been 15 years since I was first typed (do the math...)

Posted by Carol -- November 9, 2006 01:48 AM

I am so glad that I have found this! I found out I was a infp a couple of years ago while trying to discover the perfect career for me. I did not know that many infp's could also have ADD! I have always wondered if I may have ADD myself and I think I may go and try to get tested for it since I really need help. I am 27 and have changed jobs and majors in college several times. Each time I try to go back to college I am really focused for the first half of the semester and then become really bored and let my grades slip the second half!

It is so frustrating! I am also the most indecisive person and it takes me forever to make up my mind about anything. I am a huge day dreamer and loose track of reality easily. Listening to music is the only thing that seems to relax me but I get lost in my imaginary world while listening. :) I am also a pisces, so my day dreaming is even stronger since pisces are known for living in a dream world.

I think I am may go and see a therapist since I have never been to one and see if I can get help. I am also going to take the advice of working out more. At least I don't feel so alone anymore about why I am the way I am. I just really hope that I can become more focused and for once finish something I have started! Hopefully I will be able to find what it is that makes me happy in life! :)

Posted by Jessica -- November 16, 2006 01:08 AM

Hey I AM NOT A FREAK!!!! How funny is this... I have known I am INFP for a while... (I actually originally tested as ENFP when i was a teenager, and then when i was tested years later individually, not in a group setting, I was told that INFP's can SEEM like extroverts because they can be needy in some ways? I forget how she explaned it to me... has to do with emotions and feeling the "F" part. makes you seem like you are extraverted when you arn't) anyways I digress... as you can see I also have A.D.D. (inatentive) no H... have been struggling with it the last 10 years.... Now I have moved to a new place and I haven't been able to find a job... I have withdrawn to my home and been in a depression for 2 years. ( I have saught help but have to deal with burocracy (sp?) of doctors refusing to treat it because they see medication as serious potential for harm... weather you are diagnosed or not. - makes me MORE depressed... I am so tired of this...

anyways HERE IS AN INTERESTING QUESTION....

I have always wondered about ADD and astrology link (I have been into astrology off and on for several years) You can finid all kinds of things indicated in peoples birthcharts... and Water signs are known for being sensitive, emotional, and prone to depression... Now that we can link up temperament (meyers briggs) =INFP with ADD... what about astrology. (If you aren't into astro don't laugh please i know it sounds like a bunch of crap to most people but I am just curious.)
the planets in signs are actually very similar to temperament broken down by psychology (risng sign, sun sign, and moon = corespond to "superego", "ego" and "Id" / or outer personality .. personality, and subconscious. (ignore my terrible spelling lol)

So... who in here are water signs? Or have had their birthchart done?

The last entry was from a pisces... I am a scorpio.. also water.. cancer is another water sign..

if someone's sun sign isn't in water but they have a lot of water in their chart that could also effect your temperament.

JUST CURIOUS :)

Could there be a link to astrology as well??? My characteristics described in my natal chart are the same as my meyers briggs temperament... and my a.d.d. qualities... anyone else..

Don't worry I am not crazy or weird.. Just curious. I like to look at things from different angles and temperament/ personality facinates me.

It would be cool if there was a link to astrology as well! There has to be a place for us in this world! if we are truely born with these temperaments = there has to be a way to make it work for us. To find a place where we belong. or a life where we can be who we are... instead of trying to fit into a system or society that tells us we have a "disorder" we are gifted. Are we not??? We need to rise up ... start our own businesses... create our own lives.. our own definition of success... There has got to be a way! I do not want to give up or feel defeated any more. Who is with me? Does anyone feel the same way??? Let me know :)

Let's rise up from the ashes of our lives to a new day! Take care and God bless!!! - LadyPhoenix :D

Posted by LadyPhoenix -- November 16, 2006 01:27 PM

I did the Meyers-Briggs when I was in university; I think I tested something like ENTJ. I was always very good at answering according to what I thought the results should be; who I thought I wanted to become. I have been depressed for about 4 years now. I'm young; 25. When I was about 21, I all of a sudden got sick of everything. I had my first anxiety attack and fell into a great depression -thank god to one friend that got me through it.

I thought I was going to change myself and find out who I actually was without pretending. Wouldn't you know it; I'm an INFP. I was burnt out at the ripe old age of 21 because I had spent years fighting against myself - trying to fit it, trying to be miss congeniality.

It has been the slowest recovery since that first anxiety attack.

Recognizing joy in the smallest of measurements is very important. Be sure to spend a lot of time with family and friends; instead of wallowing in your perceived failure or your struggle to be like others.

I recently asked my friends why it is that they like me. This sounds lame but I was surprised by the answers. Some of the things I tend to loathe about myself were actually reason why they considered me a good friend; not afraid to be emotional; very caring; abstract thinker; and someone who cares about humanity.

For the woman out there: I listened to an old tape by Mariam Williamson: A women's worth. It was amazing; very spiritual and uplifting. I recommend it.

Posted by C-Girl -- November 23, 2006 04:52 PM

for astrology link to MBTI, check this out: www.ptypes.com/correspondence.html (also mentioned in my next post: blog.cybette.com/archives/000090.html)

I'm a Leo, so the correspondence is right on for me. But personally I have not come across many Leo INFPs, so ... who knows?

Posted by carol -- November 30, 2006 06:25 PM

I'm a Leo infp. August 10th. Hello there.

Posted by park -- December 7, 2006 10:45 PM

hi park! another leo infp, cool..

Posted by carol -- December 12, 2006 07:38 AM

http://my.harvard.edu/icb/icb.do?course=fas-psy1504&pageid=tk.page.psy1504.video

I would strongly suggest all infp's to take time to go to this harvard university site, to watch listen, take notes, and utilize everything you can with this course. It is a positive psy. course. To me it is very interesting, and helpful. It may inspire you or encourage you in everyday life. It is not a quick fix, but if used, may for some help them to develop practical ways or insight, to deal with many
things that infp's particulary struggle with. ie
perfectionism, idealism, self acceptance

Posted by park -- December 17, 2006 11:51 AM

I have always been a very close and devoted friend to those whom have had the patience to get to know me but I have only had a few close friends and even fewer relationship partners. I have always had anxiety about meeting new people and starting new relationships and have often wondered whether or not I was different than others. I am often complimented on my physical appearence and I tend to take pride in how I look which makes its all the more difficult to understand why I could'nt meet members of the opposite sex. When I have talked about this with a close female friend, she tells me "All you have to do is talk to girls", if it were only that simple. The few girls that I have gotten to know closely have all said how amazing my personality is and they dont understand why Im not cleaning up with the ladies, which makes my situation all the more frustrating. I have been given several personality tests both on my own curiosity and by others and have always tested "INFP". I am wondering if I could get some constructive input on how to put myself out there in a more productive way. I would appreciate responses from both sexes but any response would be welcomed.

Posted by Chris -- December 24, 2006 09:13 PM

I'm an INFP and was diagnosed with ADD as a first grader. My parents gave me one generic medication after the next: Ritalin, Cylert, Prozac...I became skeptical if any of them worked. I don't really remember if I felt more focused/less distracted when I was on those medications, but I haven't taken anything for it for the longest time. I think thereason for this is because they were basically a double-edged sword (better attention span, at the cost of increased allergies).

It really annoys me how ADD is usually portrayed as a crippling disorder whose sufferers are mentally slow. The positive aspects of it (creativity being the first that comes to mind) far outweigh the negative. I could also launch into a whole list of stereotypical "smart people" who had ADD...Washington, Edison, Einstein, etc.

Very intersting theory, and it's also extremely plausible, based on all the other replies that this blog has received. Heh. Thanks for posting!

Posted by Kazuo -- December 30, 2006 03:41 PM

Hi everyone, it's great to read all this stuff. As an INFP myself I get really happy when I know (and see posts from) so many other INFPs and such. I used to suffer from a lot of depression myself but in recent times I have conquered this. For any fellow INFPs who suffer from depression or any of the major personality type flaws, here's how I got over it.

I started weight training. I still do it on and off but I've had to be really organised to fit it in with my day which we all know... I don't do a lot in! Day dreaming, lurking around etc etc! So basically just forcing myself as much as I could to be more J (also kept my room as clean as I could). Being a P is great but if we can't pull our finger out our arse, what good is all the P stuff we do?

I've also managed to finish making an album and get my own website. One of my big INFP ambitions is being a musician but by training my J I've actually managed to get this one on a path which I'm travelling.

That's the main thing I did. Body building, is also a form of extraverting, enhancing my E by getting out of my head and doing something in the REAL world.

So to all you amazing INFPs, some of the kindest, yet most bitter, most easy going, laid back, but also the most easily insulted, if you can enhance your E and Js just a bit you'll see a lot of results and won't suffer from half as much depression. At least I don??t think you will. I use to want to cry sometimes for no reason but now I couldn't give a crap about anything, well... you know what I mean.

As INFPs we have the potential to be some of the world's greatest people but only if we don't let our laziness and perfectionism stop us! Follow your dreams! From multiple documentaries I've watched I came to the conclusion Beethoven was very much an INFP and he's one of the greatest musical geniuses. (I believe JS Bach is an ?NTJ)

I guess the only problem we face then is our passion for love. But if you??re not well balanced then a relationship might not last very long at all anyway.

Posted by Colin -- January 3, 2007 05:46 PM

well reading dis blog nd finally realising dat i hav ADD makes me really sad.. coz as it is i was struggling in understanding myself-my intrests keep changing..m unhappy a lot of times.lost ..dunno wat to do .. nd y m i not enjoying my life as much as my frnds...

ders nothing wrng with my life i hav everything thanks to GODs grace.. i ralise dat .. but still sumthing bothers me all d time..subconciously i find things to crib about ..nd conciously i try to b positive and happy..but since d happiness is not subconcious it doesnt cum frm within..its an effort..so its just superficial....well atleast i m not alone.. m happy bout dat ...finally since i hav written my feelings on dis blog i feel much better nd happier .thanks

Posted by -- January 13, 2007 10:53 AM

My father and I have been assumed as, but not diagnosed as, having ADD. When excited and not policing ourselves we tend to talk in circles and move from subject to subject without seeming to have any connections between these different thoughts. The average population sees this as having ADD tendencies and assume that there is no rhyme to our reasoning. What they do not know is that the verbal part of our conversation is half of the process...the other is inner dialouge and inside jokes with ourselves. For this reason...me and my father can barely communicate with each other and it has taken a lot of patience to turn off my INFP tendencies to allow myself to except his. I always thought that me and my father were so different and I end up finding out that my resentment towards him is because he reminds me too much of myself. Once we both realized this, communication has gotten easier and at times I feel like he's now the only person who can truely understand me.

I wish that there could be support groups for INFP's because if we all knew that we were not alone, maybe less of us would be tempted to commit suicide. It seems nearly impossible to discuss the issues we have with those who are fortunate enough to have the more "socially acceptable" personalities. Even though our society is structured in a way that makes us think that something is wrong with us and that we should want to not be who we are , it is possible to love yourself regardless. I have recently, starting with dealing with my resentment with my father, worked on loving the parts of me that I use to hate. Emphasizing how my seemingly ADD traits have made me into an excellent philosophy student at my college giving me insight that amaze my professors, How they have contributed to my ability to make genuine and long lasting freindships, How i can use my empathy to help others, and how, if i value my uniquness instead of being afraid of it, i can make a difference in the world.

Thanks so much for this blog and good luck to everyone in embracing their INFPness b/c we are THE coolest and one of the rarest personalities :)

Posted by Kesia -- February 1, 2007 10:02 AM

Hey guys,

A quick glance over ya'lls comments and I swear that I finally relate. My problems of SPACINESS, DISCONNECTED thoughts that appear so to others but are really just leaps, UNINISHED ideas, MENTAL LAZINESS, INABILITY to connect PRACTICALITY to the PRESENT, man... this all sucks and it comes from this personality of mine. It's rarer, and it is because of the PASSION and EXTREME energy I feel to MAKE A cHANGGE, and to LOVE, and when I cannot implement my ENERGY into REALITY that's when I start to feel wierd. WHen my mind is "NOT HERE" when I am not GROUNDED...... this is all.....perhaps treatable with medication??


SO, to all of you: you have it harder than others because of your personality, your drive is different, less material, but once the struggle .... meditation.... Buddhist philosophy... EFFECTIVE introspection will all help, once the STRUGGLE to UNDERSTAND yourself in the way you YEARN to, it will come about that these gifts will unravel. We've all something to offer... the problem is that some have a harder time putting their gifts and uniquness to light!

Posted by Stream123 -- February 3, 2007 08:52 PM

Hey guys,

A quick glance over ya'lls comments and I swear that I finally relate. My problems of SPACINESS, DISCONNECTED thoughts that appear so to others but are really just leaps, UNINISHED ideas, MENTAL LAZINESS, INABILITY to connect PRACTICALITY to the PRESENT, man... this all sucks and it comes from this personality of mine. It's rarer, and it is because of the PASSION and EXTREME energy I feel to MAKE A cHANGGE, and to LOVE, and when I cannot implement my ENERGY into REALITY that's when I start to feel wierd. WHen my mind is "NOT HERE" when I am not GROUNDED...... this is all.....perhaps treatable with medication??


SO, to all of you: you have it harder than others because of your personality, your drive is different, less material, but once the struggle .... meditation.... Buddhist philosophy... EFFECTIVE introspection will all help, once the STRUGGLE to UNDERSTAND yourself in the way you YEARN to, it will come about that these gifts will unravel. We've all something to offer... the problem is that some have a harder time putting their gifts and uniquness to light!


depersonalization sucks... how many of you have experienced this? i have also expereienced dissociation... even though I do not have PTSD. dissociation has occurred during the day, but especially when I wake up during the night.... feeling like I'm high, seeing aura's aroun bright lights (like lots of colors, beautiful but I know I'm fucked wehen I see this) ... having strange intuitions of centerness and composition but extreme fear, ... huge pupils. ANYONE have this kinda experience??????

-thank you

Posted by Stream123 -- February 3, 2007 08:55 PM

If anyone has a VOX account, I have started a group for INFP. Please consider joining! Hope to see you there... http://infp.groups.vox.com/

Posted by Carol -- February 4, 2007 04:26 AM

Hi there, I'm also an INFP and I relate to this a lot. . especially issues like anxiety and depression.

Some of the replies above talked about how important a healthy diet is, and I agree that it's absolutely *crucial* when it concerns mood swings, inability to concentrate etc.

As hannah says above, refined sugar and white flour really are the devil! ^.^

I wholeheartedly recommend anyone who is struggling to have a look at: http://www.radiantrecovery.com

It's a community where people are healing themselves from the chemical issues that make you feel bad, by making small changes about the food we eat, and it *works* :) I used to have so many panic attacks and cry everyday, but now I'm on my way to recovery which is amazing ^.^

It might seem like to be sad and anxious is just 'part of being INFP', but it really doesn't have to be!!

You can heal yourselves naturally! :)

Posted by Karen -- February 12, 2007 12:12 PM

I am sitting at work (disorganized, daydreamer, take criticism and any opposition as a mortal blow, depression, anxiety). I just took a week off from work, with my psychiatrists' approval and a note, only to return to work yesterday and spend the day fighting tears. I have been in an extremely difficult working situation for the last four years. Last night I decided that I would take early retirement (I'll be 62 next month) and found that, rather than tell me to slow down and wait for an increased dosage of lamictal to "take," my psychiatrist congratulated me on my decision. I plan to find some work that I can do without feeling defeated all the time.

I'm not sure whether I'm an INFP. Learned from the comments that I can be an INFP that works real hard at "performing" to the point of eshaustion. I then retreat, hermit-like, to my messy apartment. And yes, I also make sure that my spelling and grammar are perfect, but too scattered to do spell-check. I thought about it, but the hell with it.

Thank you all for being the image in my mirror.

Posted by Ruth -- February 14, 2007 02:58 PM

I am sitting at work (disorganized, daydreamer, take criticism and any opposition as a mortal blow, depression, anxiety). I just took a week off from work, with my psychiatrists' approval and a note, only to return to work yesterday and spend the day fighting tears. I have been in an extremely difficult working situation for the last four years. Last night I decided that I would take early retirement (I'll be 62 next month) and found that, rather than tell me to slow down and wait for an increased dosage of lamictal to "take," my psychiatrist congratulated me on my decision. I plan to find some work that I can do without feeling defeated all the time.

I'm not sure whether I'm an INFP. Learned from the comments that I can be an INFP that works real hard at "performing" to the point of eshaustion. I then retreat, hermit-like, to my messy apartment. And yes, I also make sure that my spelling and grammar are perfect, but too scattered to do spell-check. I thought about it, but the hell with it.

Thank you all for being the image in my mirror.

Posted by Ruth Rodriguez -- February 14, 2007 02:59 PM

I'm having some memory problems, am very scatterbrained, and somewhat detached from the sensory world the SJ??s do so well in. I suffer from borderline Major Depression, but Cognitive Restructuring + SSRI combos don't cut it. Zoloft wipes me out - though I know it helps others.
I really appreciate the input about excersize. I'll try going back to it. Onward.

I'm in a dark place that is being propped up by a manufactured form of OCD. I 'jam' work like hell on spec projects, (no money, yet), which often prevents depression, but I cant keep this up. And I'm scared to let my wife know how bad it is, since she left her last husband because he was a depressed type, and I would probably do the same in her situation. Done 4 years therapy. My Jungian analyst finally hit a dead.
I can't ditch my NF identity, (would like to), can't let go of the dream, have a deep need to help others and be productive. I feel hostage to my subconscious: ?Either work-get stressed, or lay around depressed. Take your choice.? At least that's my perception. I hope I'm not wallowing in my stuff.

Q. Any ideas aside from ECT or lithium?

Posted by Carl -- February 21, 2007 08:39 PM

Hi Ruth,

Being the mentally oblivious; out-to-lunch, disorganized, daydreaming type, I missed your comment after posting mine, (below yours). I guess that??s part of the INFP makeup: being emotionally absorbed to the point of overloaded. Read ??Please Understand Me??; a gem of a book for learning more about your temperament; no matter what it is.

I??m age 60, and there??s no retirement for me at any age. I share this because the ??trigger?? for my depression was losing my job, which I loved, (creative, artistic work). I??ve been unable to find a replacement interest and don??t feel I??m out to pasture, (at least, not yet), so, I really want to be productive. Part of my work involved improve performance.

Your comment about an early retirement prompted a question I??ve been posing to myself for some time: is there anything else besides work that is engaging enough, emotional and intellectually that you feel would ??connect?? for you?

It sounds like you??ve take a course of action that will definitely get you out from under a HIGHLY TOXIC environment. Good for you! A friend of mine was so affected she ended up on workmans comp - not that that??s anything you??d want to pursue, it only reveals the severity of a work environment like yours.

Q. I was wondering - what ideas do you have for a second job/career? And also, are you thinking about retirement? Do you like being productive, creative, helping others??? What kind of work were you planning going into?

My very best to you,

Carl

PS: You only misspelled one word: eshaustion - seems like a likely word to misspell in your current situation. You should see the typos I make.

Posted by Carl -- February 22, 2007 02:24 PM

Wow! don't know what to say. I'm an INFP, Sagitarrius with Aquarius rising, and have been taking Zoloft for years for depression/social anxiety.

Posted by Chris -- March 10, 2007 05:36 PM

Hello all. I'm 24 yrs old and I have basically been reading all the posts on here for about 2 hrs, and still didn't finish (almost though, I have the spot marked where I left off)! Boy did I try, but knowing I have so much to do, I just couldn't do it anymore today. As almost every one of you have said, it is sooo nice to know that I am not alone in this matter. I actually found this website in hopes to better understand why I feel the way I do (a lot of the time)... depressed, lonely, insecure, unable to feel like I fit in. I didn't actually expect to find anything of this sort and figured I'd end up reading a bunch of BS medical terminology. I am glad I was wrong, and am thankful to have found this site. I have actually cried and got a little emotional reading everyone's posts, thinking that, "Hey, that's me!" My eyes water right now as I say that this truly is a blessing that we have found each other.

Carol: It also takes me a long time to write (or type) thoughts, being that I am a bit of a perfectionist. A lot of things you've mentioned have hit me right in the heart... big time.

Dianne: I think the lawyer you worked for was an amazing person to try and help married couples from getting a divorce by making them aware of this ever-so-wide, but widely unknown as being wide, problem.

Joey: You said you never felt like you fit in. I always thought kids were mean, and they are. I'd like to think that we are amazing special people. Yes, it is so very hard sometimes, but it gives me peace when I just tell myself that being different is who I am, and I love myself for that. I hate myself too, which I know I shouldn't, but when I wise up, take a step back, and look, I realize it's a bittersweet thing. And "Imagine what we could accomplish!" That is so true. I think we ALL could start something amazing here... let people be aware... And normal people? Well, you know what... looks like we're the more normal ones. Who speaks their minds the best? We do, because we are genuine true people. I wish that was more normal.

Anne: Your post is like my personal diary! So is everyone elses, to sum it up.

Julia: You said that INPF's are most likely to report suicidal thoughts in college. I haven't taken the test but will soon (if I can remember... haha), but I am 99% positive that I will fit in the INPF category. I had suicidal thoughts starting as early as I can remember, when I was 6 yrs old. I'd get angry, usually at myself, and stand at the edge of the balcony at my house, and would tell myself over and over, "Just jump," and I still don't know to this day how a 6 yr old could have these thoughts. It's a good thing I could never bring myself to do it. I spoke to no one at that age, pretty much. Then in 2nd grade, tried to fit in, but only ended up irritating my class mates, in which eventually caused me to be the one everyone made fun of. Third grade, I was bullied by a big group of girls every day at recess... Where were the teachers? I say to myself now. Jumping to when I was 12 (to save all of you from reading my life story), my parents split. I always told myself it didn't make me sad, and that it was for the best (but it made me very sad). My dad left my mother of 22 yrs for a woman that was 22 yrs old, half his age... that was hard as hell. I got so upset one time. I don't even remember what triggered it, but my life just seemed to crash before my very own eyes and I didn't want to witness it anymore, I downed a bottle of exedrin extra strengths, not the whole bottle, but like 10 or so pills. I don't know how much damage that should've caused, but I truly think God was watching over me. I was only very sick the next day. I still feel depressed feelings that I don't want to live anymore, but I know I'd be to chicken to actually go through with anything, thank God. It's these horrible thoughts, that make me so ashamed of myself.

Judith: Messy and late? That's me. You should've seen my car when I got my oil changed one day. My car was so dry of oil (irresponsible) that my car was sounding like it was going to die. It had a leak, so it wasn't totally my fault, but at the time, my car had been a mess, some of the items included what I call, my red "hooker boots" in the back seat from my Halloween costume, a full bowl of dog food, from transporting her from my boyfriend's house, clothes, bras, and underwear from transporting as well... lol, it was so embarassing, I decided to try to make it home, which was a huge gamble considering my car's situation. I actually thought for a second, "I think I'd rather just let my car break down and walk home," but of course didn't. Of course, I've seen some people on tv that are hoarders and my car was nothing of that sort, it actually wouldn't have been that bad, if the items in the car had been different, and I did hide the undergarments in my clothes BTW. And late? I have been the "late queen" all my life. I've lost jobs over it, got threatened many times by employers, but most never went through with it. I was late to school EVERY day in high school... had in-school suspension A LOT. Saturday was sometimes a school day for me. It's awful, but that's just who I was. Somehow I think I've almost overcome being late, not totally, but I've gotten so much better, for the most part. I still am occasionally late. But I know how important it is to be on time, so I try my hardest. And what you said about, if someone doesn't like you, it depresses you. It always did me too. It still does sometimes, but I'm a "pleaser" and try to make everyone like me, because I can't stand hatred, and it makes no sense to me why people would want to. But I still have a hard time letting things go, due to oversensitivity.

Linear Bob: A lot of the things you said relate to me. Like your check registry and using your debit card. I was always out of balance and have paid overdraft fees on NUMEROUS occasions because of it, and my mom works at my bank! She's even done my balancing for me to help me out, becuase I was too lazy to try to figure out the problems by looking at those stupid bank statements you get in the mail. And going online, well I haven't tried it, but just seems too much a hassal in my so-called busy life(I'm not really all that busy, but it takes me so dang long to do simple tasks). I find the best thing in the world to help with that is the bank's phone number you call and an automated voice tells you your transactions. You write the ones that are missing and highlight the ones that are there... it's the easiest for me, and I do it for myself for organization, because the lack of it there-of.

Isabel: "No wonder we're most prone to suicide and have the potential to be more blissfully happy when times are good, more than most."

--You said this and it is so true... I thrive on laughing and smiles.

Kat: My twin, so much is everyone else... don't have much to say, bacause what you said was dead on how I feel... really.

Nomind: Your post also spoke to my heart, and English not being your first language? I would've never guessed. EVERYONE on here sounds mucho inteligente to me! Very intelligent that is.

Doug: I too fell that when I am around people for a very long time, I get tired, especially if I'm not doing something of some sort of energy or that gains my full attention. I also get a little lonely when I am alone. Sometimes I need to be alone, but sometimes, I feel like I just need someone with me.

Leslie: Your so-called friend shouldn't have judged you for the person you are. It sounds like she is an unworthy friend who has problems of her own and feels a sense of superiority by putting you down, what a fake person... I would brush that dust right off your shoulder, if you haven't already and just think to yourself that you've done some weedeating! Got rid of the unnecissary BS. Everyone has issues, wether they're INPF or whatever, or none of the above. People are just not as open and down to earth as we are... I think. Our minds seem to be stronger not weaker. Some people don't see it that way, but sure looks like tons of studies have proved it. I am definitely "weird and oversensitive" and I try not to be ashamed. It's good to be different, and as much as I want to change being overly sensitive, it seems I can't... so what do we do about it? Deal with it or take medication? Honestly, I wish I knew the answers. To be honest, I don't want to be depressed anymore and I don't want children committing suicide. I think it depends on the person. If you can deal with it, like I've tried to, do so, but if you can't, pop some pills. I think I just might.

But do some research first. I took wellbutrin in high school and it made me dizzy and sick, I about fainted. Cylert worked, but at 17 yrs of age, caused me to have hot flashes and sweats, and I wasn't heavy or anything. Then later caused me to have anxiety attacks. Later took straterra, which gave me horrible anxiety and goose bumps 24/7 during anything "emotional" which really wasn't even emotional... I was an emotional mess and crying all the time over small things. Oh but now I don't take anything. I go to college and my grades are good, but it doesn't come easy at all. But to be honest, what doesn't come easy I think builds character, and that's what everyone of us have... Character.

I love all you guys truly. I found this through a search on google. I looked up ADD/depression and found this wonderful site. Currently my boyfriend and I are fighting, and I hope things work out. The depression over this brought me here. Thankyou my fellow friends... email me anytime... I have a huge heart and love reaching out to people.

Taradee23 (at) yahoo (dot) com

Posted by Tara -- March 12, 2007 04:14 PM

I want to apologize for my previous post aka NOVEL. I have never said these things to anyone and the words just flowed. Sorry if it's boring as all get out!

Posted by Tara -- March 12, 2007 04:17 PM

Hey, I love this article. I was referred here from a friend's lj, and judging by the huge amount of comments, I am nowhere near alone in being an INFP with adult ADD.

Someone earlier mentioned astrology in connection to ADD/INFP, and I'm a Pisces with Gemini Moon, Leo Rising, and Venus/Mars in Aries, which I think is pretty indicative of my impulsive, dreamy, and non-committal nature. I always change my mind on what I want to do---the only constants are my husband and a love for folklore---but otherwise it's frustrating.

Anyway, great article. I'm always being harped on by various ESTJ family members, and now I know why. :D

~Audrey

Posted by Audrey -- March 13, 2007 02:47 PM

Tara, you don't have to apologize for anything. I think many of us feel the same way when seeing this page, seeing all the people who share the same struggles as each other. And in response your words flowed, as expected and greatly welcomed, and not at all boring. I read each of your comments with appreciation. And I'm sure many others do the same.

So all of you please keep your comments coming!!

Posted by Carol -- March 13, 2007 11:02 PM

Thanks Carol. I was really down when I found this site, and it helped so much. I talked to my cousin last night, because she had told me before that she had depression. It was like looking in the mirror, as far as our similarities (if that makes sense). I would say she was INFP as well. I think our family passed this down to us. Our uncle has manic depression. Anyhow, she's tried over 13 different medications, and she said they all make it 10 times worse once they wear off. I've tried a few in the past years, but I just feel like what's the use to try any more? She said none of them have worked. I try to deal with it but sometimes it's so bad I can't.

Posted by Tara -- March 14, 2007 09:07 PM

I have not tried any medications myself. I'm afraid I'll either get too dependent/addicted to them, or like what your cousin said "feel 10 times worse once they wear off".

It's a constant struggle alright. I'm just glad I'm not alone. That's why I value every comment so much.

Exercise is supposed to help... I need to get my lazy butt to the gym more often!

Posted by Carol -- March 15, 2007 03:14 AM

Exercise is the best natural tool in my opinion. Not only does it make your outer body healthier, but also your inner body and mind as well. Getting to the gym is the hardest part (motivation), but once you get there, it's almost intoxicating (to me). I think a lot of people who are new to it, don't really know what to do, so it's almost intimidating, but once you get a system going, it's so much easier and such a big step in your life. The other day I had so much that was bothering me, so I went to the gym. I ran on the tred for about 65 min, 4.75 miles, and burned 725 calories. Then after, I hit the weights. I usually do 30 min cardio and only run about 1 1/2 to 2 mi., so it felt great... not so much later, but that's the good kind of pain. I love it.

Posted by Tara -- March 15, 2007 12:42 PM

Hi INFP's! I've got two questions:
1. Do any of you have premonitions? Telepathy? That sort of mystical stuff?

2. Do you think there is an afterlife, and if so, what's your 'take' on it?

"Lost and found, souls, dept". Carl...again.

Posted by Carl...again -- March 16, 2007 01:49 PM

Hi Carl, very interesting questions.

1. I used to be more intuitive when I was younger, seeing things before they happen. (I think stress and having to deal with "reality" made me lose some of my "touch".) Once I saw an myself getting into an accident in my mind, so I stopped (driving), and someone else got into an accident in front of me instead. Luckily no one was really hurt.

I also dream a lot. I believe I saw my husband in my dreams a few years before we met. I've also had out of body experiences.

2. I believe, or rather really want to believe, that there's an afterlife. I remember blogging about it before... let me do a search... here they are:

http://blog.cybette.com/archives/000014.html
http://blog.cybette.com/archives/000016.html

Posted by Carol -- March 16, 2007 11:14 PM

INFP here -- Scorpio with Cancer Rising

I don't know about the ADD thing, but it sure sounds like me. I was never diagnosed, but the 'symptoms' sound a lot like me. I'm 47, mom to 2 wonderful kids and 4 usually-wonderful cats, new-ish wife of almost 2 years. Same boring bookkeeping job for 16 years and looking to change careers. But what to do????

This blog is wonderful! It's nice to not feel so alone. : )

Posted by Sue -- March 21, 2007 09:15 AM

Hello everyone. It's been a while since someone last posted. What's up with everyone? How's is going?

Posted by Tara -- March 31, 2007 12:17 PM

I can really relate, I've had this a long time thought it was a defect I could control. Like watching T.V. and not hearing a word others in the room are saying, like I'm zoneing. My 2year old is the same way He could be doing something and you can call him numerous times to no avail. thanks for the input. One Question is a friend of mine got a urine test done and came back positive for Meth. but I know they're not useing. the theropyst said about worring about her recovery and taking speed (stateria) I need more info on drug test and stateria before she goes to jail for trying to straighten out her life. thanks, any comments, info can be sent to fnyelebanon@yahoo.com Pease to everyone!

Posted by Frank Nye -- April 11, 2007 05:58 PM

Hey Frank. I guess no one really posts on here hardly anymore. There is this discussion group I'm in with very similar people that may be of some help. I took straterra and it made me an emotional mess. That's crazy about the speed deal. You'd think they'd run a test or something to find out for sure instead of sending her to jail.

infp-general@yahoogroups.com

This is the discussion group... it's the same as this only more active

Posted by Tara -- April 23, 2007 03:51 PM

Just want to say, as a confirmed INFP...that I see myself in all these posts...I thought I was going crazy trying to fix myself, wanting not to be so restless, depressed and down on myself for procrasination/not being more productive. I have wondered if I had ADD or was bi-polar! Thanks for this cyberlog of entries...through all of you I believe I have the courage to accept myself on my own terms...and that's the best prescription/solution to a large part of my current frustrations. I was better at it when I younger, staying true, but to earn an income and make a life...you adapt, as an INFP, and live out life in this predominately ESTJ/SJ world. I often wondered what an INFP/NF world would operate like? I always loved science fiction where different societal rules were in play...of course, coming into conflict with "progress" as any good story should. I don't know if anything in that kind of would get done but I am sure it would be very different! :) I was fascinated with the 60's (as a teen in the 70's) and all the baby boomers/college kids trying express themselves in new ways and champion new ideas/causes...mind-expanding drugs aside. But we see where all that ended up...and I hope that the pendulum is swinging back with the emphasis on wellness/quality of life and green/sustainable living. Who knows? Anyway, I am seeing a new functional medicine doctor who will help with physical complaints, including depression and fatigue...but I must adjust to mentally how my mind works...constantly thinking, seeing new things, then their tangents and coming up with various ideas and projects...and find a way to work some of these at my own pace in my new, self-imposed unstructured environment. I am an impatient INFP, however, and once I have a vision of something in my mind...it is so funny, if I talk about it enough...it is as though I actually did it...it gets marked "done" in my mind. I forget that no one else can see it "finished"...they are waiting for me to begin! I have studied many things, and currently it is psychology...I am making a career change. I really liked the suggestion about the Jungian therapy...as I will investigate it for me to use with my own clients when I have them. Perhaps we should create INFP "centers" where one can go and be understood if it all gets to be too much! :) I hope everyone that reads these numerous personal insights/entries get the "lift" I have today. Good luck, godspeed and "peace of mind" to you all! You are not alone...:)

Posted by Rita -- April 27, 2007 02:59 PM

Thanks Tara, Rita and Frank for your recent comments.

This blog is not really designed to function like a forum, so I encourage all of you to join the aforementioned yahoo groups (infp-general, infp_add etc.) for more active discussions.

However I hope people will keep comments coming. As we've seen, they do help. And I know I sound like a broken record but thank you all, once again.

Posted by Carol -- April 28, 2007 07:09 AM

We are all being stereotypical INFP's By being all like YEY there are others like me!!!!! But hey..... in all seriousness... im wicked glad there are more people like me in the world.

Posted by Austin -- May 22, 2007 01:56 PM

I have been researching the relation between the INFP personality type, ADD, depression, anxiety, and bipolar for some time now. There is most definately a tie. I have been dealing with depression and anxiety since my early teenage years. My dad is bipolar, and I believe he is an INFP too. I am now in college and have been for 5 years. I switched majors five times since I started. I just have not been able to settle on one and stick with it. With each one I have felt like I was forcing a square peg into a round hole. I started out in Engineering, moved to Computer Graphics, switched to Management from there, and ended up in Computer Technology. I forced myself to try to stay in Computer Tech. until I started getting panic attacks that resulted in vomiting. Last winter I withdrew from classes and started to seriously search for a major that matches my personality type: INFP. I feel like I have been cursed, personally. I definately like the unique part of being an INFP, but what benefit does it have if you can't put bread on the table? Where are INFP's in demand?????? How can I use my uniqueness to make a living? Is anyone out there wondering the same thing? Has anyone out there found a college major fit for an INFP that also leads into a career fit for an INFP? I would really appreciate any advice you all might have!

Posted by Joe -- May 22, 2007 09:27 PM

Just another typical INFP. Love the site. I read everyones' posts for hours. Why do people feel the need to attach a diagnosis everything?

Responding to (Joe -- May 22, 2007 09:27 PM)
Your college experience sounds pretty similar to mine. I started out engineering and switched to digital arts. I took a bunch of psychology and culture classes on the side. Never felt like it meant much to me. Just felt I had to finish mostly for my parents. I would say psych or religion is our best fit - but it is also doesn't get you a job. I graduated with a digital arts degree and I am unhappily working in marketing for a year now. I actually just signed up for the Peace Corps.

My college advice is get a relatively practical degree with elements of creativity and/or humanitarianism. But just finish and try not to feel trapped in it, because you can do anything with your life, it doesn't define you as a person, and most people end up doing things other than their degrees anyways - especially us.

And my life advice... try to understand yourself - which just being on this site means your headed the right direction. Try to relate to others and understand them too. A feeling of connection is so important. And most of all listen to your heart and have the courage to follow it. The strength of our hearts is the greatest gift that we (INFPs) have, we have an amazing capacity to creatively and positively influence the world. More than just a capacity, I feel that it is our responsibility and our place in the world.

Posted by Brian -- June 6, 2007 04:44 PM

I just can't believe this article. It is right on. I'm looking at getting treatment for my ADD because it can be embarrassing sometimes trying to talk to somebody (that I don't/hardly know) and because I'm nervous, it's hard to focus. I also am prone to bouts of depression although it's not constant. I googled ADD and depression and came up with this article. It caught my eye because I also happen to be INFP! Incredible. After years of feeling out of place in my family, friends, school, church, LIFE and people in general, this makes me feel better. THANK YOU for putting this information out there.

Posted by Stephanie -- June 6, 2007 05:19 PM

This actually seems like a really good assessment. I am an INFP and have been recently diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I also have multiple sclerosis which I think adds to the diagnosis.

Thanks for the blog -- I've stumbled you.

Posted by Diana -- June 10, 2007 11:28 AM

BoDesign - Industrial design and 3D modeling for industry. Rapid prototyping and wisualization. Graphic and web design.

Posted by Jakub Piasecki -- June 19, 2007 04:14 AM

I'm a confirmed INFP in college and I've been diagnosed with both ADD and depression... This entry made me realize I'm not alone after all!!! Thank you!!!!!

Posted by erin -- July 13, 2007 07:04 PM

Also, in response to Joe: I am so with you. I'm graduating in a month and I have no idea what I'm good for... I'm definitely starting to panic, too. I'd definitely love any advice anyone has to offer.

Posted by erin -- July 13, 2007 07:18 PM

INFP and romance... As a girl, I've found these two things totally incompatible. All of my life I've had these expectations that I'm only now coming to realize -- at the age of 22 -- are not in line with reality at all. Has anyone else found themselves totally misreading situations, or being completely oblivious to, what other people assume are romantic moments because it doesn't fit with what was in your head? Yeah... Also, I noticed some comments about always feeling misunderstood or having trouble communicating what's actually going on inside, and I've always struggled with that, too. I've been told by a psychiatrist that he thinks my (and I'm assuming other INFP's) thought processes are so complex that the fact is we simply can't put words to/communicate a lot of what we think or observe. Is that not insanely depressing? But I'm glad to see I'm not alone.

Posted by -- July 15, 2007 02:18 PM

I had first typed myself INFJ, then INFP - then I realized I did not know what my feelings meant half the time; I am not likely to be saving the world through grand humanitarian acts - not because I don't want to, however, but because of the social anxiety/self consciousness mentioned by a lot of people here. Anyhow, I thought I was INTP for about two years, before getting to the chapter in Lenore Thomas' book on INFP. Amazing. Introverted feeling is exactly what I have. Its like an inner buddha, LOL, that wants to meld with the countless other inneer buddhas it meets in other people! The feeling that people often keep themselves closed and act in fake and 'blind' ways is what I believe is the root of my 'depressed' feelings. I long for a world of openess and tolerance and true sharing... and peace. The ratrace was definitely NOT made for the INFP. Race? Compete? These are not words to live by. They are the language of a world deep in slumber. Only the mind of an INFP can envision and engender an awakening.

Yes. I believe I have Innatentive ADD. I procrastinate horriblbly even when aware of the consequences. Someone mentioned simplifying their life as a means to cope. That's my strategy exactly. I get great stress knowing I have accumulated a lot of material things. There is no-one special in my physical life, there should be nothing special, either.Even growing up I had the habit of giving things away!


Yes - lonliness. I crave a soulmate/mindmate, someone I can communicate with. Someone who will be gentle with me and not provoke the worst..

I know I am not ill . I have commenced therapy so that I might move beyond the self defeating behaviours. After all, this body itself will prevent me from experincing my dreams in a few decades- I had better find my self and take myself on the road...

Posted by donna -- July 16, 2007 08:26 AM

I've been really interested in psychology and I've known that I'm an INFP for quite some time now. Sometimes I think I've changed, and that I'm not an INFP anymore. I'll feel plain.
Then again sometimes I wished I was more like the other more 'social' people.
I'm like only 13. Many people tell me that I'm mature for my age. I'm a Sagittarius also, so sometimes when people tell me I'm mature but inside of me I'm still quite a kid actually.
I find it so hard to fit in that I lie a lot. Even if those lies are, useless. It's like I can never get attention. I wonder why I even want attention.
My sense of humor isn't good at all and when I joke, people don't get it. So I'll feel kind of awkward. Even if they do laugh, they just go, "You're so funny," and then they don't care at all.
Anyway, it's good to know I'm not the only one that feels this way. :)

Posted by Gina -- August 16, 2007 06:04 AM

Hi all-

Just spent the last hour reading the posts from people who obviously have access to my innermost thoughts and feelings (hmmmm - maybe I need another layer of tinfoil for my Privacy Protector 2000?) I have taken the MBTI or variants 9 or 10 times in the last 25 years. Wonder of wonders, I am consistently evaluated as an INFP. I've also been treated for clinical depression off and on since college (25 years ago) and my current psychiatrist believes I also suffer from ADD. So I hit the trifecta, as so many others who have posted here have.

Recently started back on Wellbutrin after having been off a couple of years. Not sure it's helping but not sure it's hurting either so will continue - at least for a while. The trigger for my latest depressive episode has been a great deal of work-related stress and my psycho/cognitive exhaustion from doing a job (financial/data analyst) that I've done in various incarnations and for various employers for the last 20 years - and loathed every day of it. My boss is one of those STJ types who believes in strength of will and that character (which I apparently lack) will allow anyone to overcome any obstacle. I don't agree - and it's getting to the point where I don't have the energy to try to keep up the pretense that I agree. I'm old enough that I shouldn't care what people think of me, but I know most people around me don't think that highly of me. I'm too much of a dreamer, I get bored (especially when it comes to data and data analysis) too easily, never finish things I start, etc. etc. All in all your typical everyday depressed INFP with ADD.

I need to find something else to do - and quickly. I fear I will succumb to the darkness in me if I don't.

Thanks for letting me vent/rant/shout/jump up and down....

Posted by Stephen -- August 25, 2007 12:00 PM

stephen, thank YOU for venting and ranting here, i'm sure it'll help others as well :)

Posted by carol -- August 26, 2007 06:46 PM

Hi -- I'm an INXP whose son was recently diagnosed with ADHD; as a result, I soon discovered that the ADD inattentive description pretty much summed up my entire life (almost 45 years), with a couple of anomalies (ex. I did perversely well in school, in both math and verbal-reading, although I was starting to feel the ADD effects just before graduation with a BA in Journalism with a 3.0 GPA. I have no doubt that if I were not ADD Inattentive I would have graduated cum laude or better, and maybe in a more difficult major (ex. biology, finance), and also would have an advanced degree by now.)
I find the MBTI description of INTP (and much of the INFP) much more useful in understanding myself than the ADD Inattentive descriptions. I still have to go for an "official" diagnosis but, because my life has not been severely impaired (although my social life has been a nightmare of painful incidents in which I had no clue as to why I was being rejected until I recently read the ADD Inattentive literature), I doubt I will be diagnosed as ADD. Still, all of the self-help things, as well as good old caffeine for temporary stimulation, has allowed me to function well so far -- but I know I have the potential to do better and need to find more ways to overcome ADD-related obstacles. Thanks for your blog, it is interesting.

Posted by the Bean -- August 28, 2007 09:56 AM

I've been diagnosed with very strong ADD and am also an INFP. I go through bouts of depression once in a while, very detrimental to staying engaged in the various projects I begin. I need structure in my life again probably.

Posted by Hilary -- September 15, 2007 03:17 PM

ONLY FOR DEPRESSED INFP??s,
especially if you have suicidal thoughts or you wish to simply not wake up someday (the perfect death).

Do you experience any of these?

1. fear of death - why?
2. fear of the unknown - what would that be?
3. fear of dying before you get all those ??things?? done - what do you just have to get done before you depart?
4. plain old agonizing, painful death? (cancer) - what??s your worst agonizing death pain experience?
5. death of your identity - as in, you get ??zeroed?? out - now who are you and what is your purpose and meaning?
6. fear that you have to come back and ??do it again?? (life)
7. the concern that death = loss of control - what one thing do you wish you could control in your life?
8. fear that you have twenty or thirty more years of horrid depression and have to wait around for something/nothing to happen until you ??drop off???
9. I have no fear of death because...?

Or another fear regarding death...and what would that be?

Let??s get on a ??roll?? with this and get twenty of you INFP??s to open up on this - after all, we are the ones who live in another world half the time. Isn??t death another world or dimension - or is it something else?
Isn??t depression a common symptom we INFP's experience (me for one)?

I??d like to hear your thoughts on this. ALL of you. Death.

Carl...again

Posted by Carl...again -- October 5, 2007 06:01 PM

I recently realized my membership to the INFP club and believe to have a mild ADD symptoms.
My "F" soothes me to know im not the only one, Thou my "N" can't decide if this realization of the membership is a good thing for me in the long-run.
life is a journey, I'd like to know my capabilities.. and i want to extend it. I dont like to fail and find something to blame on. If i fail then its me, its not the INFP-ness. because it is me that makes up INFP, not the other way round..
I have to make a post of this complaints to make my thoughts and feeling firm... Truely sorry if i create any negative feeling and thoughts.
I wish everyone well
from Thailand

Posted by Panupong -- October 11, 2007 04:27 AM

RESPONSE TO:
" If I fail then its me, its not the INFP-ness, because it is me that makes up INFP, not the other way round.. "

I'm only another INFP but, I'd guess that you over identify with your genetic hard wiring. We INFP??s dislike disharmony and, may I disagree? Consider it may be the other way around - it truly is your INFP-ness that creates the ??you??, and the reactions you have. Temperament is NOT a function of conscious selection - it's a result of inherited genagrams you got stuck with (or selected in a previous life).

ON FAILURE
One of the biggest failures in life for us INFP??s may be that we never accept that we've always been doing the very, very best we could because to do better requires we move through time into a ??future potential?? and, the future does not exist at this moment. You??re the ??best of you?? and the only ??you??. In time, more of your ??best?? will come through.

Carl...again

Posted by Carl...again -- October 12, 2007 10:02 PM

what the hell... i'll do it:

1. fear of death - why? because i believe in good/evil, heaven/hell
2. fear of the unknown - what would that be? i don't get this one
3. fear of dying before you get all those ??things?? done - what do you just have to get done before you depart?
frankly when i'm really depressed i really don't care... the world doesn't respect or listen to infp's most of the time anyway, even when they should or just because they don't want to, so it's really a pain in the ass to stick around sometimes... don't really feel like you owe the world anything
4. plain old agonizing, painful death? (cancer) - what??s your worst agonizing death pain experience? that would suck
5. death of your identity - as in, you get ??zeroed?? out - now who are you and what is your purpose and meaning? i think that's every infp's greatest fear
6. fear that you have to come back and ??do it again?? (life) oh lord no
7. the concern that death = loss of control - what one thing do you wish you could control in your life? its direction
8. fear that you have twenty or thirty more years of horrid depression and have to wait around for something/nothing to happen until you ??drop off??? yep that's pretty much it
9. I have no fear of death because...? once i really didn't, because i was so tired i really, really didn't care... i took a ton of sleeping pills and fell asleep feeling PEACEFUL about it... i remember even being surprised at my total lack of any 'will to live' signs... and woke up the next day without any symptoms

Posted by -- October 15, 2007 11:48 PM

I think the worst part about being an INFP is that most of the time you have the burden of understanding just about everyone around you while the favor is almost never returned.

Posted by -- October 19, 2007 05:10 PM

also, i think "mirrors and smoke" by jars of clay is a song that sums up infp's quest for love perfectly if you want to check it out

Posted by -- October 19, 2007 05:31 PM

I am an INFP. I don't need to tell you all how I do not feel alone anymore because every other infp functions the same way I do. It's good that we have recognized the similar traits we all share. When I was in 8th grade, one of my teachers actually suggested to my mother that there was something wrong with my brain because I daydreamed so often. She led my doctor to consider I might be having seizures whenever I stared off into space. As one of her best students, always earning A's, I was somewhat angry that she would make this accusation, knowing how intelligent I was. I suppose she never considered that maybe what she had to teach me was so boring that I preferred to think of other things. The results of my neurological intelligence testing found that I had superior scores in reading, spelling and arithmetic. The report said that I had considerable talent in verbal communication and my unique abilities were found only in 5% of the population. Meanwhile, my dexterity and organization skills were horrible. At the time, I felt like a freak. But, upon reading the infp description, I have found my fellow colleagues, so to speak in a world of common individuals.

Though we are anything but common, I would venture to guess that some of us have found a satisfying career that resonates with our values and morals.

Please comment - anyone - if you are in job that you are happy with. Any advice is appreciated.

Posted by -- October 30, 2007 05:10 PM

I know most of you are adults, but i'm in high school and i can't seem to focus on my classes (too much daydreaming). Besides that, I have always been compleatly unorganized. I'm in above level classes, so i'm not stupid.

I have also often felt depressed and that I was never going to be "good enough" for these classes or my worst fear that I would never be anything or help anyone (I'd like to attend med. school).

Just wondering if anyone had advice on study habits. Something to help me focus? I'm getting desperate.

Posted by jordan -- November 24, 2007 12:15 PM

i'm an INFP but not ADD/ADHD.
i'm 16 and the worst thing about me is my worrying.
i havent come across this on any INFP sites so i was wondering if this is a characteristic?

in social situations i'm always uncomfortable, i'm constantly thinking ' *insert name of friend* isn't having fun, oh god oh god' and this limits my enjoyment and the enjoyment of others. it just takes over everything.
and i hate how easily everyone else makes friends.
i find it so hard to connect with people. because i think ' they dont want to talk to me, i have to make this conversation interesting' etc etc

i recently lost a best friend, we just grew apart and now i get feelings that tell me that i'm alone, because every one else has really close friends and i dont anymore.

maybe its called anxiety?
would anyone else happened to have felt like that?

i was wondering if there was a way to cure it.
i sound really messed up lol..

Posted by edwina -- December 9, 2007 05:48 AM

this is totally crazy to be able to relate. with real people. haha.
edwina i know EXACTLY how you feel in social situations. my advice (at least it works for me) is to just relax, pretend everyone is in love with you, have confidence, and most importantly, be yourself. i know this is easier said than done but hey, sometimes you gotta just suck it up.

i'm 16 and i feel crazy and psychotic all the time. i know i'm not, and that it's just who i am, but... i don't feel normal.

i don't believe i'm depressed; i consider myself a fairly happy person. i think it's because i choose to laugh off and embrace the usual infp depressions. but that doesn't mean i don't experience them and i am still am drawn to sadness.
i have many friends (although only a few close ones.) and am fairly popular, yet i don't fit in at all.
i know i understand myself, but for the life of me i can't seem to explain myself at all.

i think i am at peace with myself and am content with being different, because i like that it makes me unique, but it is starting to negatively affect my life in ways i cannot control.
for example, my chronic tardiness for school has become a major issue i my life: if i am late just a few more times i will get another referral and receive a truancy ticket, and also my parents get extremely frustrated with me when i am late for everything and they won't allow me to get my license unless i stop being late. this is quite a predicament for me because there really isn't a whole lot i can do about it... i will put extra effort into being on time but after a few days or so i just can't keep it up. has anyone been in this situation? i don't know what to do about it.
also, my parents get extremely frustrated with me for being late with my schoolwork, because my grades are slipping due to it. but the odd thing is... i have C/D's in a few of my classes(not even the hard ones.), but A+'s in the rest.
i am smart, am in all honors/ap classes, and am "gifted/talented" but i just can't seem to focus on what is important to my parents and the school administration, because "my head is in the clouds." (which is why everyone thinks i have ADD. personally, i think it's just who i am. i don't want to take any drugs.)
i just want to love myself for who i am and go along with my own nature, but i hate myself for not living up to what is expected of me... i don't want to be absent-minded and disorganized and daydreaming but it's who i am. and i couldn't change that if i tried. (which i have. unsuccessfully, obviously.)

i don't know how to make people understand this.

i'm so frustrated with myself for not making any sense...wow i'm psycho haha.

i don't even know what the point of this whole thing was... oh well. thank you very much if you actually sat here and read my whole pointless... typage. haha.

Posted by leah -- December 10, 2007 03:53 AM

hello Edwina, sounds exactly like me, have had trouble 'fitting in' and been blaming myself for it - still do sometimes

i think worrying like that is pretty normal for INFP's, being idealists and perfectionists and introverts. For me, it went better after i consciously started lowering my expectations about friendships and relationships and stopped blaming myself for not getting along with everybody. I found it easier to relax and just 'be me' after i admitted to myself that i like being alone and that there is only a few people with whom i really relate.
Being a perfectionist, you may blame yourself for not connecting with everybody but it's just a matter of being different (and maybe even special!).
I met a bunch of people through my favorite hobby (music) and my profession (psychology) who are more like me, so with them the problem isn't as big. Maybe you have a creative hobby that could bring you into contact with people who are more like you??

Professions that 'work' for an INFP from my personal experience: Human Resources-consultant, counsellor, musician, really the stuff that is mentioned on the sites. Still looking for the perfect fit though - it's got to be about helping others and being creative, not about 'targets' and 'margins'...

Posted by -- December 10, 2007 03:03 PM

why can't I post? it says questionable content...

Posted by Pegs -- December 13, 2007 01:37 PM

I am INFP, HSP, with ADD-inattentive type (undiagnosed). I'm not on any meds, although I tend to drink a lot of coffee and alcohol. I have moderate depression at times. (cont'd)

Posted by Peg -- December 13, 2007 01:43 PM

I find it nearly impossible to hold any kind of traditional job. I been to college several times, still don't have a degree. In my 40's, things are getting more difficult. The ADD is becoming undeniable. (cont'd)

Posted by Peg -- December 13, 2007 01:44 PM

Yoga helps. I actually teach it now. I find mundane tasks maddening, but they must be done in order to keep life from becoming more complicated. (cont'd)

Posted by Peg -- December 13, 2007 01:47 PM

A note on relationships: I have been married to the same man for 22 years, an ESFJ. We communicate well and connect on a very deep level. He also has ADD, so understands that part. We alternately ground and uplift each other. (cont'd)

Posted by Peg -- December 13, 2007 01:48 PM

My advice: Try to keep it simple, find out what nurtures your soul and pursue it unapologetically.

And do try not to take yourself too seriously. :0D

Posted by Peg -- December 13, 2007 01:50 PM

PS: I also wanted to mention that my 10 year old son is a lot like me. He is mildly ADD, and I believe INFP, plus immature for his age and very fanciful. I want to let him grow as he will, because he is a great guy. But the school systems really hammer these kids because of their whole No Child Left Behind agenda. He does OK and has a wonderful personality, but I'm afraid they are going to burn him out and beat him down before he makes it to high school.

Posted by Peg -- December 13, 2007 02:05 PM

I found this blog while searching ADD & depression. I am INFP & have fairly pronounced ADD as well as chronic depression.

The isolation I feel at times is maddening. I'm 52 years old and very marginally employed; I have a 6 year old son who lives with his mother, & I'm seriously concerned that I present a very poor role model for him.

I've been on Ritalin, Adderol, Welbutrin, Zoloft, & Prozac with spotty results.

Posted by bartleby -- January 2, 2008 05:24 PM

I'm an INFP, I've been treated for depression and anxiety for most of my adult life, and have recently been diagnosed ADHD. Medication helps me focus and channel my creativity, but Meditation helps me to bring that creativity and otherworldly inspiration to the fore. Healthy diet and exercise are a must for me as I get out of my body and mind what I put in it, and I'm very lucky to have the most wonderful friends who love and understand me and my quirks unconditionally. I have a very positive attitude toward being INFP, I wouldn't want me to be any other way and neither would my friends, God bless them!

Posted by Adrian -- January 3, 2008 06:28 PM

I have spent the last hour (at least) reading through this website. Of course this ended up turning into an epic struggle between my ADD boredom kicking in and my actual desire to read all the posts. I am sure many of you can relate.

I could rehash so much of what has been said, but instead I think I will just rehash "wow, that is like my diary".

I am a 24 year-old male, so I can relate to the few other INFP men on here that have this deep emotional well inside them that they have to reconcile with their masculinity (internally of course, screw what the world thinks!). I have been blessed with a few friends I met during college that have accepted me for who I am.

One major problem I have is relationships, namely the lack of them. Whether from fear or idealism, I have never been able to get myself to pursue a relationship. I think, especially as an INFP, that during my formative teenage years, with all the inner turmoil and longing for meaning associated with our kind, that the "relationship" was put on a pedestal so high I was afraid to reach for it. Then in college I actually fell in love with a girl without her knowing about it, and when I finally approached her about it, and she said no, it crushed me for years. The experience taught me a lot about life. For a long time I thought I had lost that "old green magic", but it is finally back in full force. These days I look forward to meeting someone I can get to know as a real person, rather than as an imaginary ideal in my head (which for us can seem as real as anything). It's a difficult struggle balancing the deep longing for connection with the very real danger of using the imagination as a substitute for real relationships.

As for the ADD, after I graduated from college and got an office job writing software, I found that I was unable to work full weeks. I would get anxiety attacks in the afternoons at times, and HAD to leave the office. I would sneak out and leave early, only able to breathe when I was in my car and away from the building. I ended up talking to a friend who has ADD and looking into it myself. I started taking Adderall. It helped me focus quite well. I was doing better work than I ever did before, and was able to put in the long hours when needed. However, after about a year I noticed that I didn't enjoy life much anymore. I felt dull inside, like my soul was trapped in a hazy gray mist. I figured out that the Adderall, while giving me focus and making my career more viable, was dulling the very inner life and inner richness of the INFP that made life worth living. I had to make a choice between being able to do my job properly and being myself. I chose being myself. One day I flung the pill bottle across my living room and haven't taken Adderall since. After that, work got harder. I couldn't keep up with all the projects, and fell behind. They never interested me much, so I ended up getting distracted and surfing the internet all day. I felt guilty. I had anxiety attacks. I almost lost my job. In the end I got a new, similar job elsewhere, and worked hard enough to leave my old job on good terms. I don't regret the decision.

I only worked there for 2 years. I've been here for just 5 months. I don't know how long I will stay. Coding software doesn't fulfill much of the INFP needs. I am unable to work full weeks most of the time and get bored easily. Despite this I still have hope for the future. The blessings of being an INFP help to weather the curses.

What has gotten me through the toughest times is my faith. I could say I am a Christian but that doesn't really encompass it all. True Christianity isn't a bunch of rules, does and don'ts. It's actually about having a relationship with God. It's about the person of Jesus rather than just following what he said. I cannot put into words how much this has helped me over the years, as an INFP. It is like actually finding the perfect ideal, that surpasses even our wildest expectations. And then finding out that this person cares about you on an individual level, knows you better than anyone else does, even yourself, and then finding out that you are loved more than you thought possible.

There is so much more I could detail here. I wish I could perfect the post, but alas the world never lives up to what we see in the mind's eye, does it?

You are all amazing and I thank God for you, my kin.

Posted by andrew -- January 11, 2008 01:38 PM

Edwina,

I have definitely felt some of the things you describe. The teenage years can be especially hard, but remember that they do not last forever. Notice that many of the older INFP posters here seem to have a much more relaxed feel. I think as you grow older and grow your inner self, you will come to feel more comfortable being you. You are by no means alone.

You find it hard to connect with people, and I know the feeling. I am sure many other INFP-ers can relate. Try not to worry too much about this. Many people seem to have the ability to make friends easily, but what you likely crave is something deeper than these surface friendships. It is good to have acquaintances you can spend time with, that you do not feel obligated to connect deeply with, as well as a few trusted friends that you can connect with on a deeper level. Try just being yourself and not worrying what other people think. When you act naturally as yourself is when people can see the best parts of you. Anyone that is not interested in you for who you are is not worth developing a deep friendship with.

Sometimes friends grow apart. This is common especially when growing up in the teenager years. You are learning more about who you are and developing as an adult. It is natural that some friends will head off on different paths. This happened to me with my best friend as well. We managed to stay friends, but not close as we once were. One thing that I have learned that has helped me over the years is that through friends may grow apart, or move away, you can still always be friends. The relationship may change, but it is not that you have been abandoned, just that you are walking a different path in life.

Hang in there, for you will find more best friends in the future. And being an INFP, you have a special gift of being able to bring great depth and meaning to those friendships. Quality over quantity. And the true keepers will recognize that about you.

If I could give one piece of advice above everything else it's to not look to other people to define your worth. Your worth is not measured in how many friends you have, or how your friends act or feel. You are valuable because of who you are. You are not any less valuable if you say something stupid or feel uncomfortable in a social setting. You are unique. Find the people who can recognize that. I believe in a God that made you the way you are and treasures every quirky part of your personality, and loves you for it.

You're not messed up. You're an intelligent young adult looking for answers and meaning. And that's a beautiful thing.

Posted by andrew -- January 11, 2008 03:46 PM

pakos magnahooki gakma! Just kidding.

I have ADD/inattentive type, and I just took a personality test that told me I'm INFJ. No suprise, since I'm an artist, and I knew I was melancholic already. Anyways, I know you all have tiny attention spans like I do, so I'll try to keep this short and sweet, but I want to let you know I'm with you about feeling misunderstood and alone.

I was raised buddhist, in a hippie environment, which worked for me fine until my mom hooked up with a really bad man, and I went from hippie school into mainstream public school. I "cocooned" in a big way, reading books during recess to avoid the mean kids. I was eight years old, and diagnosed with clinical depression!

I tried Adderall, and Zoloft, but the only thing that ever helped me was religion, specifically traditional Catholicism. Once I found the truth to what life, and death, and suffering is all about, I was never depressed again. I seriously think none of us INFP or INFJ's will ever be able to rest until we fill that empty hole that we are born within our souls.

I just tried my hand at a market research job that lasted one and a half days before I broke down with exhaustion from trying to force my brain to behave in a way it's not designed to. No one in my family understands that I didn't just quit because I'm lazy, it was my brain's fault!

So, I'm trying right now to get better from my great big job failure (I got physically sick from the strain) but I know I'm going to come through this wiser and stronger than I was before. I just really need to find out what kind of job I can be successful at with both ADD, and an INFJ temperament (sculpture doesn't pay the bills so well).

Posted by Meli -- January 23, 2008 03:12 PM

OK, I took some more Jung-type tests, just to be sure, and I got different results - I'm actually an INFP.

I wanted to join that Yahoo group mentioned above, but it's full of more spam than discussion, so I think we ought to find a different way to communicate. Maybe on a real forum, or message board? People like us need to talk with others who understand!

Posted by Meli -- January 26, 2008 03:31 PM

infp...i don't believe in classifying people into such limited groups as such, but then again maybe that's just because i'm infp, right? anyone else have the infp business sense? i'm decently close between extrovert and introvert, and my intuition isn't TOO far from sensing, plus i have tested intp once...i think that helps me at making money, right? can people change over the course of there life? i know that i have, at least according to the questionaire...but doesn't this just test who you think you want to be?? i don't know, i'm confused...but i would be, right? i'm an infp after all, whatever that means. I've decided that infps are pretty self centered...look at the posts, we all begin with the letter 'i'. i figure most did like i did and read what we were interested in then read the most recent comments to make sure we didn't look like a fool (on the internet, ya?). then jump right in to our own problems...so, there ya go, i haven't even begun to discuss my problems as they seem deeply rooted in other things, but on the other hand i DID use my real name. have fun. you'll be ok. we're all ok. remember that.

Posted by tug -- January 27, 2008 05:00 AM

Hi. INFP/ADD/Bipolar II here. First, let me say that meds are WONDERFUL! if you have the right med for the right disorder. I'm taking Abilify and Lamictal--the most boring drugs on the market. However, they keep me in a nice, narrow bandwidth. I don't know what the meds have done to my idealism, though. When I was unmedicated, I was out to fight the good fight--even got my MBA in Nonprofit Management so I could go play with volunteers, which is what I love to do. I really feel that I've had the idealism beaten out of me. My last job--out of about 10 so far--was repairing security equipment. Where the hell did that come from?? I just started therapy, and I'm hoping to rediscover my idealism and go back to doing what I love. But as a bipolar, I'm really concerned about becoming a true believer. When I get too excited about something, I am guaranteed to crash, hard! I can't afford another major depression, so I have given up caring too much about anything. Example: my cat just died a week ago. I allowed myself to miss him for about 1 minute, and then went back to whatever I was doing. Granted, I have 7 other cats, but that is no excuse. How do I recapture my spirit of repairing the world?? And how do I pay the bills while I'm doing it?? My wife wants me to ask, what do you other INFP/ADD types do for a living? Maybe you have an idea that will work for me. I'm out of work, of course.

Thanks,

Posted by Steven Booth -- January 30, 2008 10:34 PM

I enjoyed this post even though it's almost four years old! I'm trying to blog through some of the issues of being an ADHD INFP in a workforce that doesn't know how to deal with that. For anyone who found this post interesting/thought-provoking, I have a feeling there's still much discussion to be had.

Now I'll surf around Cybette's site some more....

Posted by Dynamo in a Box -- February 5, 2008 10:43 AM

Wow ! again,I just read this whole site,enthusiastically.This has confirmed alot of what I have known about myself,but couldnt justify compared to the rest of the world.AHHHH Yes : 0) Life is starting to make sense @43,finally.I recently took the Myers Briggs in search of a new career,one that felt right.I did not know that the search would lead me to all of this INFP clarity.The shame and guilt has been falling off of me as I read. Thank you for sharing your true selfs.I have been through years of therapy off and on ,and some great training,but nobody ever mentioned personality types.I think this would have helped me alot.Any how Thank you all .Love Lloyd

Posted by Lloyd -- February 15, 2008 12:32 AM

Hi everyone!
I have the usual trembling, kind of painful but pleasant feeling in my chest after reading your posts. I just can't believe how I can relate to every word you guys are saying.
It's been a while since I have had a major depression, and I fear it's coming. I've been trying to not think too much and just live. I've also been trying to not care about other people, about what they think. I am bulding a huge wall to protect my little vulnerable kid I have inside me. That kid is only allowed to be seen by some special people, but I just haven't found those special people. Anyway...I could write forever...but I just wanted to tell you that we are really special! Just try to adapt, don't change, and appreciate yourselves. I know we all long for someone to appreciate us and love us the way we are...but what I've realized is that I need to appreciate and love myself first...Don't let anyone get you down!!!

Posted by aniii -- February 18, 2008 10:18 PM

I'm an INFP but not ADD or depressed. I believe it's possible--

Posted by SummonPrettyPeace -- February 22, 2008 05:38 PM

Hi

One of ADHD bloggers mentioned this blog post and this way I found you.

Re INFP, there is more exact definition for us, probably. HSP - Highly Sensitive Person. Two of bloggers already mentioned it here. I read this book and it opened for me the whole new world. According to the poll on HSPs forum something like 90 percent of HSPs are INFPs. This forum now offline - they change hosting and platform :(

I am not ADHD, my son is. I am HSP and INFP. I had a lot of bad moods, but not up to the diagnosis of depression. Read the book about HSP. Re ADHD - check my blog below.

Arieh
CrawlingClub.org

Posted by Arieh -- February 23, 2008 05:38 PM

very true. i'm an infp. i've had suicidal thoughts before, but no, wouldnt carry that out, because a "perfect person" wouldnt do that and we infps never finish what we sta

dont you hate how the infp mind works?

Posted by Carrie -- February 26, 2008 10:09 PM

Could it be that the ESTJ function is associated with male dominance (usually in a stereotypical fashion) and anything along the lines of INFP (most closely resembling the feminine principal in a lot of respects) has been seen historically as dysfunctional. Medicine has been male dominated, and women's natural feeling and idealism, often changing and unstable ways of perceiving - have been considered as needing to be fixed (e.g. PMT, mood swings)
I suggest it is the diagnostic criteria that is the problem, not the INFP people - who are often well misunderstood very deep caring individuals that just can't understand why people can be such a##holes (e.g. they are MORE in tune with themselves and others). Being less in tune with self and others to me would seem to constitute dysfunction and immaturity of soul - and thats the ESTJ type - more common in males, and probably more common in the medical field, and yes I am talking stereotypes but it helps to make a point - no I am not saying that all men are immature, but perhaps some would..
As for your suicidal thoughts - I think it come from being 1% of the population, highly sensitive = highly special and completely misunderstood most of the time...Please dont let anyone tell you that the beauty of the depth of what you feel is dysfunctional... it is a gift to use to help others..

Posted by anonymous -- March 6, 2008 03:10 AM

Yes, I believe that ESTJ is associated with male dominance.

Posted by Elysa -- April 24, 2008 09:11 PM

I've been struggling with my idealism and how it clashes with reality.

Everyone keeps saying how it's great that we are different and special because we search for meaning on a deeper level. But these things don't seem to help us out in the real world. Yeah, I guess it's great that we can think deeply, but does it really matter since the rest of the world doesn't think that way and doesn't listen to us?

This pessimism seems out of character and could be because I'm only sixteen and trying desperately to find my place and make sense of the world.

I don't know. Any reactions would be helpful.

Posted by Eva -- April 28, 2008 07:16 PM

Hi Eva,

I've been struggling with my idealism and how it clashes with reality.

Carl...It will clash for as long as there is genetically imbedded male aggression, ego and greed. So, I??m clueless. I think it all resolves itself when our sun explodes in four billion years and turns into a Red Giant.

Everyone keeps saying how it's great that we are different and special because we search for meaning on a deeper level. But these things don't seem to help us out in the real world.

Carl...No, they not only don??t seem to help us in the real (unreal?), world, but YOU have to go looking really hard to find a career, love relationship, and friends that allow that special gift to be used. The positive side of meaning might be just having it validated by realty - real INFP people, like you.

I guess it's great that we can think deeply, but does it really matter since the rest of the world doesn't think that way and doesn't listen to us?

Carl...Yes, it??s great free self entertainment, and maybe that??s enough.

But what does it matter?

I don??t know, do you like writing? Some people actually like it and make money doing it.

This pessimism seems out of character and could be because I'm only sixteen

Carl...True! Age 16 will do it every time. It??s perfectly ??in character?? and congruent to feel out of character in this joint with the crazies all around us: The Normal People.

and trying desperately to find my place and make sense of the world.

Carl...Surprise, it gets better with age. Not necessarily a glowing, bubbling, lovely ESFJ lifestyle. Still, age 16 is a very young age to have a handle on all of this. That??s a lot to ask of yourself when you have a complex gift that ended up in your DNA.

Would it be okay if, at this time, you could unravel / make meaning out of two things in your life? Just two?

I don't know. Any reactions would be helpful.

Carl... ??Any reactions would be helpful.?? The only thing is that we live in this so-called proactive world that you didn??t invent. But what would it feel like if you could get a perspective; say, don??t compare yourself or try to keep getting realty checks until you??re age 25? Because that??s when it started coming together for me. Some therapy made it happen a lot faster, too.

Good luck, and welcome to the 1% club! You??re years ahead of many people.

Posted by Carl...again -- May 1, 2008 01:02 AM

Hey ,all , you should check out infp Globalchatter, its a very cool place with alot of infp s and an "active chat room" any take care.Lloyd

Posted by Lloyd -- May 18, 2008 01:01 PM

I am proudly an INFP.
I have been "diagnosed" with depression, borderline personality, ADD, with Asperger's thrown in there for good measure. I was urged to take medication but I really like the way I am. It is others who seem to have the problem with it.
(Perhaps they should medicate themselves? LOL!)
Besides, I felt it was far more important to respect and trust myself than to believe others, who don't really know me at all. (Not even relatives.)
Trusting my Self has been the wisest thing I have ever done, and has brought astounding benefits which far outweigh not "fitting in".
People who mocked and criticized me before now respect my self-possession and self derermination, and seek to emulate me.

This paragraph explains to me why INFP's seem ADD
Perceptive types put much value on the open ended. They do not like to come to a conclusion unless forced to and then may still be uncomfortable with its closure. Being aware of how many factors are involved and how much is still unknown, they are terrified at making a rash decision. They hope they can solve a problem simply by understanding it better, by seeing it from all sides and eventually being able to see the thing to do. They love to explore the unknown. They don't like to be pinned down, to plan a task, to make definite statements. They prefer to be spontaneous, to live for the moment. They like to make-work fun or they lose interest in it. They don't believe in deadlines, but use them instead as alarm clocks allowing them to pick up spurts of energy at the last minute and accomplish the task. In conversations they can jump from subject to subject, depending on whatever enters their mind, or whatever enters the room.

Posted by Jean Macaluso -- June 12, 2008 04:44 PM

someone should delete all that spammage.

i have been perusing all of these posts, same as everyone else i can relate completely.

i just started dex, for add, although i havent been properly diagnosed. now i wonder if that is what i really want to do to myself, but i realise it will be important for me to try to focus for a while to maybe figure out how to live with who i am.

i have battled depression and anxiety since forever, never understanding why, never feeling connected, constantly feel as though i live in a different world to everyone else. i have a global, even universal perspective and trivial things drive me insane, especially chit chat and ignorant people. i have found therapy completely useless because i can never remember what it is i need to tell them. it is only through online research that i have found out there is actually nothing wrong with me.

i did find a good psychiatrist who pretty much guessed i had add straight away, when i told him i cant drive a car because i cannot concentrate. anyone else have trouble driving??

also many people here seem to be spiritual or religious, which is weird, because i don't like any of it, in fact i am the complete opposite and most of my thoughts and comforts stem from the truth, nothing comforts me more than the truth even if it is scary. but try finding other people like that, you won't.

im glad i found this it has put some of my feelings into words, something i haven't been able to do yet. thanks everyone.

Posted by emma -- July 4, 2008 02:01 AM

oh man, I too am having trouble posting because it says there is "questionable content." Guess I will try posting in parts. Darn it.

Posted by Stephanie -- July 4, 2008 01:02 PM

IT'S NOT WORKING!!!

Man, I guess I'll just tell you guys that you helped a really desperate young woman gain perspective, insight, and the stamina to keep going.

S

Posted by Stephanie -- July 4, 2008 01:07 PM

eally focused for the first half of the semester and then become really bored and let my grades slip the second half!

Posted by warren4321 -- July 13, 2008 06:42 AM

I found your article quite interesting and informative, however there's just one thing that I can't seem to understand. According to David Keirsey's book on MBTI personality preferences, Idealists (NFs)are meant to be optimistic, whereas Guardians (SJs) are pessimistic. Of course, I have read elsewhere that according to Hippocrates Four humours, NFs are Melancholics, and SJs are phlegmatic.

I'm suffering from a double depression right now, and can never really remember being completely carefree and optimistic. Is it really to do with how we prefer to feel, or could it be the result of being surround with Guardian-ish type of people from childhood (both my parents are SJs)???

Posted by Skye -- July 14, 2008 01:46 AM

As and INFP I have never felt "normal". Though I have never been diagnosed with ADHD, and have never been hyper, I was diagnosed with learning disabilities and had a difficult time finishing my work early in school. As far as depression goes, I have had a few bouts of minor depression, but have led a productive life pursuing my passions. I have found that being an INFP, I am very passionate and as long as I am not "working for the man", but working for a higher calling I do well. My husband, an INTJ, and I make a good team, both passionate, but he can be somewhat more logical from time to time.

Posted by Lisa -- July 26, 2008 08:54 PM

That was a nice thread of comments that I'd Almost managed to completely go through.. Anyhow, I too, encountered the same problem of lack of discipline, amongst many others mentioned above. I found a couple of really helpful books that have helped me deal with that problem. The first is Stephen R Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Some people might be skeptical about "#1 national bestsellers" or about self-help books. But this one really works such that it targets root problems instead of superficial symptoms. I found it to be pretty wise. If it takes up too much time to complete the entire book, just read the first 3 habits (and maybe plus the last one). The second is David Allen's Ready for Anything. This one was a thin book and easy to read. I think the books are from different publishers so you guys can rest assure I'm not from some publishing co! Hope that helps.

Posted by Heidi -- August 15, 2008 11:19 AM

Oh, here was one tip i got from either one of the books (i think..) : In dealing with procrastination, simply make yourself start doing the task for just 5 minutes. Don't even think about the "perfect output" you're aiming to produce. And after the first 5 minutes, hopefully you'll be engrossed enough to not want to stop.

Posted by Heidi -- August 15, 2008 11:27 AM

INFPs don't have 'attention deficit disorder', everybody else has 'interesting deficit disorder'.

Posted by Don -- August 16, 2008 09:01 PM

I'm definitely INFP. I took the test in high school, and it was a revelation. Everything seemed to fit, though it didn't necessarily help me fit.

I like to say that I have parenting-induced ADD. I've been the at-home-dad for almost nine years now. In the big picture, I love it. Day to day, it can be hell. My daughter is as extremely extroverted as I am introverted. She ALWAYS wants to have play dates. That's fine, if it's someone I know, and they don't make much noise. But I end up leaving it to her to arrange everything.

Mostly, I just feel crowded. I was going to homeschool both kids. School was hell for me. I was reading by the time I was four, and reading the Encyclopedia to make sense of the world by the time I reached first grade. I realized rather late in life that everyone else in first grade was learning to read, and that was the purpose of those dumb "Dick and Jane" books. I thought school was just a prison where I was put to waste my time and force me to be around other children I didn't particularly like and certainly didn't understand.

Homeschooling my children, however, made me feel like I was suffocating from lack of alone time. My wife likes to do family activities when she's home for the weekend. That includes me. I had originally thought I would be out backpacking every weekend. And I actually do enjoy being with my family, but sometimes I just need to sit.

Are there other INFP at-home-parents out there who are just driven to the point of insanity by the constant flow of noise and questions and fighting and needs pouring out of their children?

INFP's are supposed to make wonderful parents, but I'm always on the verge of exploding with anger. I have this gesture of raising both hands and sort of pushing myself away when I get too many questions. I raise my hands and walk to my room for a while. Now my daughter has picked that up.

I wish it were a LOT easier with them in school, but I'm also a beekeeper, and I'm trying to write quite a bit, and I want to get through Jung's complete works, and someday I'd like to finish my PhD, and I'm taking care of all the children's animals that they don't take care of, and my knowledge of foreign languages has been slipping, and the garden is a mess, and I have to get straw for the chickens, and they're almost out of food, and the bicycle wheel hubs need rebuilding, and on and on and on.

I used to be able to sit and read for ten to twelve hours at a stretch. Since I started to be an at-home-parent, I end up hopping up and down like a jack-in-box.

Parenting does NOT seem like a good INFP career.

Posted by Paul -- September 2, 2008 09:14 PM

Hello fellow INFPs! Reading your posts has been like coming home. THANKYOU so much! I love you all. Never, never, never give up. The world is a much brighter place with you - just remember that! :)

Posted by -- September 3, 2008 08:01 AM

My dearest folks...guess what I did..i have felt like all INFPs do, that something was fundamentally wrong with me since i was a child.....so I overcompensated....went to Wharton to get an MBA...and then did the ultimate harakiri...became an Investment Banker!!! In the past one year...each day has been painful.....interacting with my STJ colleagues!!! mindless attention to detail....formatting power point at 4:00 a.m in the morning.......and getting shouted at...being criticised.......and expected to promote myself....and market myself......i was soooo miserable...that one day I decided to put an end to it.......and be myself...and stop proving...and trying to fit in.....and to enjoy the sun, and flowers, and the wind..and the moon....it is such a wonderful..and utterly amazing world....!! I felt why should I waste my time trying to please a bunch of people..and doing mindless activities.....i feel life is so short..and time passes quickly.....what is the point of wasting it doing something one doesn't care about....it is your life...suit yourself folks!! who cares about fitting in.....you know there is this wonderful song called 'Born Free'....it goes like...

Born free, as free as the wind blows
As free as the grass grows
Born free to follow your heart

Live free and beauty surrounds you
The world still astounds you
Each time you look at a star

Stay free, where no walls divide you
You're free as the roaring tide
So there's no need to hide

Born free, and life is worth living
But only worth living
'cause you're born free

Stay free, where no walls divide you
You're free as the roaring tide
So there's no need to hide

Born free, and life is worth living
But only worth living
'cause you're born free

I feel I should just relax and look around....and think of how eternal time and space are...and in comparison how momentary my miseries..and even my life.....We are a part of this magnificient...and supremely mysterious universe...and that makes us..and everyone else (including the STJs..:)) v special........

All my love...

Posted by Deepali -- September 18, 2008 09:14 PM

I hate being an infp and i really have no idea how to deal with it. i can't express my feelings, I procrastinate, I get overpassionate about projects, but never finish them, I am the messiest person I know, and I constantly have no idea who i am. I am astonished by the fact that I finished college as are all the people that know me. I'm sick of people joking around about my personality flaws...I laugh at them, but cry when i escape them. I suck at relationships and i wish I had majored in something different in college because I'm realizing very quickly that the sport management field is not for me. I think everyone that knows me except for my best friends believe i am a flake...my best friend when asked to describe me in one word said "determined" I don't know very many determined flakes. I had mostly C's in college because I would never turn in papers or projects...I would spend countless amounts of time on projects and papers but could never finish them because i was too critical of my own work...So after spending countless hours on projects around last minute time I would start a completely new paper or project that I didn't care about, just to turn something in...many times though i never turned anything in...which baffled some of my professors because they would work with and collaborate on some of my projects, then be like "what the hell, why didn't you turn in your project?" I had one professor who didn't do that and I believe it is because she too is an infp, she would always give me a deadline of when her grades are due, never when the rest of the class had to turn in the project.

Sorry for venting here but i can hardly take this anymore.

Posted by abby -- September 21, 2008 01:18 PM

Yeah.. being an INFP can really suck at times. But it's not all bad. We see things and feel things that the rest of the world is blind to. This can make life rather lonesome, but try to remember that being what we are really is a gift, and most of the world has no idea what they are missing. INFP's have brilliant imaginations. We have depth, insight, passion and creativity that "average earthlings" will never know. (This is my own inside joke: that I really am not from this planet since I am so different from every other person I know!)

At any rate, please go easy on yourself: Being an INFP is a blessing and a curse. It takes years of work and patience to come to terms with being an INFP. But I can honestly tell you, it does get better with age and with practice. And no non-INFP I've met has ever come close to understanding what our reality is like. So if anyone tries to "cure" you of INFP tendencies, I say, ignore them and go happily on your way, pursuing the things which you find inspiration in doing. Don't ever feel ashamed of being an INFP. We are the only ones who really know the soul of humanity: it's depth, it's capacity for love, it's ability to imagine, it's talent for creativity. I believe INFP's are the torch-bearers of humanities' soul.

Posted by mwk -- September 25, 2008 10:46 PM

"I think the worst part about being an INFP is that most of the time you have the burden of understanding just about everyone around you while the favor is almost never returned."

That comment...Wow.

And I think it's funny that so many readers have asked for future career or general decision-making perspective, and of course no one can offer concrete advice! It's the blind leading the blind (and I say that lovingly). I really don't have any wise words. I'm incredibly directionless right now. But at least now I know there are others out there stumbling around, too. =)

Posted by meg -- September 28, 2008 04:51 PM

Hello fellow INFPs! Reading your posts has been like coming home. THANKYOU so much! I love you all. Never, never, never give up. The world is a much brighter place with you - just remember that! :)

Posted by Bilgi Paylasım -- October 21, 2008 10:01 AM

Hey awesome blog! There is actually this INFP forum that connects Myer Briggs Type Indicate ( MBTI ) users with other users called Personality Cafe. Just go on google and search for the keywords Personality Cafe. I would love to chat with some of you and get to know about your personality a little bit more!

Just wanna help you guys discover yourself a little more. :)

Posted by Chipy -- November 5, 2008 08:48 AM

HALLELUJA!! Now I may have an explanation for my life! I am definately INFP...do youthink I could be ADD??

Started one career at 16, lost focus and interest so started another at college, got to University and changed subject, graduated and after two years changed career again in order to travel and work abroad, had to leave that job (teaching) because my level of concentration was so bad, the students started to get very confused! (This in turn made me even more self concious and unable to function in front of the class). It used to take me so much time to plan the lessons cos i was obsessing over ways to help me remember things in class, sometimes I would still be at work hours after everyone went home!

Now am looking to start in another career and struggling to make my CV look like it has some sort of common theme. terrified of starting work incase I can't concentrate.

Was thinking of starting cognitive behavioural therapy...has anyone tried it??

So happy to have found you all..

T.xx

Posted by TB -- November 27, 2008 08:15 PM

Wow. It's amazing to read what so many have written. I went through my worst depression yet this past year and had to withdraw from my college courses. In therapy I was told I most likely had bipolar II. Reading all of this makes me think maybe my personality (I'm a definite INFP) has more to do with it than a chemical imbalance. I live in my head, worry about the future, get excited about an idea one day and get really into it, then realize it can't work. I can't think of a job that would satisfy me because most things are so meaningless, revolving around money. Anyway, it was good to read what everyone had to say here. Thanks.

Posted by Jessica -- December 2, 2008 01:04 AM

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Posted by Home Based Business -- December 5, 2008 03:54 AM

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Posted by -- December 5, 2008 03:55 AM

Wow.. After feeling very down over what looks like a promising relationship going bad, I wondered about a possible correlation between depression, suicide, and INFP type, and found this site through a search.. Not that I'm considering suicide, it just crossed my mind with everything that's happened in my life the last few years (many deaths), the disaster of W's years, so many dire problems in the world, and now, with what I thought was the most interesting woman I'd met in a long time..

Anyways, I'm a confirmed INFP in mid-life, and have been very interested in Type for years (of course!). Many comments here ring so true.. the trouble fitting in, the loneliness.. Abby's perfectionism, hence procrastination, profoundly resonates! (I've been unusually down for the last few years, but feel my energy returning, and am getting more organized and disciplined..) If it's any help to her or anyone in a similar strait, some sort of self-imposed structure might help a lot. I went away to school at age 21 after fooling around and not getting anywhere at the local C. College. Just had to prove myself, and imposed an almost rigid self-discipline, but I'm not sure how practical this would be if you had to work while in school; for that one year, I didn't. After never doing well before, due to what I now see as typical characteristics of this personality type, and having no enlightened support from home, I earned excellent grades that year; a 3.7 average for both semesters. Abby, try to do this, and I think we need more time for our work, too, thus need to create an atmosphere most ideal for concentration.. try to minimize distractions if at all possible. Try mightily to stay on top of things, and not get behind; then, meet the deadline no matter if it's not "quite perfect".

There are so many comments here that I identify with.. the sense of understanding everyone else and caring about them, but having very few reciprocate, the definite seeming connection with ADD, the above average trouble finding satisfactory work.. and I'm sure that I'm missing some.

But, there's the positives as mwk so eloquently stated, too.

TB, I think cognitive therapy might help a lot, but of course I'm just a layman. During the year that I did so well in school, I had an excellent psychology course, and cognitive therapy seemed the most valid to me then, and I think it addresses perhaps one of our weaknesses: the often underdeveloped ability for hard logic.

Jessica, I suspect you are correct about your Type being at the root of things; I am very leery of the drugs being handed out so easily it seems, by doctors.. I would read up thoroughly on INFP type; there's a lot on the web. Also, and this might be of help for both you and many others: please read, 'Do What You Are...', by Mr. and Mrs. Paul Tieger; excellent for career choice!! It's almost certainly available in your county library systems, or colleges, and check out the reviews on Amazon. It's an incredible resource which I first came across about 15 years ago, and am still impressed. Try to get hold of the most recent edition, the 3rd, I think; the only differences in the varying editions are in the actual careers, which have changed as new technologies come along- not that we're very tech oriented on the whole, but the book covers all 16 types.

At any rate, reading through many of the posts here makes me feel not quite so alone. Thank you. Joe

Posted by Joe -- December 6, 2008 07:29 PM

Wow.. After feeling very down over what looks like a promising relationship going bad, I wondered about a possible correlation between depression, suicide, and INFP type, and found this site through a search.. Not that I'm considering suicide, it just crossed my mind with everything that's happened in my life the last few years (many deaths), the disaster of W's years, so many dire problems in the world, and now, with what I thought was the most interesting woman I'd met in a long time..

Anyways, I'm a confirmed INFP in mid-life, and have been very interested in Type for years (of course!). Many comments here ring so true.. the trouble fitting in, the loneliness.. Abby's perfectionism, hence procrastination, profoundly resonates! (I've been unusually down for the last few years, but feel my energy returning, and am getting more organized and disciplined..) If it's any help to her or anyone in a similar strait, some sort of self-imposed structure might help a lot. I went away to school at age 21 after fooling around and not getting anywhere at the local C. College. Just had to prove myself, and imposed an almost rigid self-discipline, but I'm not sure how practical this would be if you had to work while in school; for that one year, I didn't. After never doing well before, due to what I now see as typical characteristics of this personality type, and having no enlightened support from home, I earned excellent grades that year; a 3.7 average for both semesters. Abby, try to do this, and I think we need more time for our work, too, thus need to create an atmosphere most ideal for concentration.. try to minimize distractions if at all possible. Try mightily to stay on top of things, and not get behind; then, meet the deadline no matter if it's not "quite perfect".

There are so many comments here that I identify with.. the sense of understanding everyone else and caring about them, but having very few reciprocate, the definite seeming connection with ADD, the above average trouble finding satisfactory work.. and I'm sure that I'm missing some.

But, there's the positives as mwk so eloquently stated, too.

TB, I think cognitive therapy might help a lot, but of course I'm just a layman. During the year that I did so well in school, I had an excellent psychology course, and cognitive therapy seemed the most valid to me then, and I think it addresses perhaps one of our weaknesses: the often underdeveloped ability for hard logic.

Jessica, I suspect you are correct about your Type being at the root of things; I am very leery of the drugs being handed out so easily it seems, by doctors.. I would read up thoroughly on INFP type; there's a lot on the web. Also, and this might be of help for both you and many others: please read, 'Do What You Are...', by Mr. and Mrs. Paul Tieger; excellent for career choice!! It's almost certainly available in your county library systems, or colleges, and check out the reviews on Amazon. It's an incredible resource which I first came across about 15 years ago, and am still impressed. Try to get hold of the most recent edition, the 3rd, I think; the only differences in the varying editions are in the actual careers, which have changed as new technologies come along- not that we're very tech oriented on the whole, but the book covers all 16 types.

At any rate, reading through many of the posts here makes me feel not quite so alone. Thank you. Joe

Posted by Joe -- December 6, 2008 07:30 PM

Hi all,

I love your comments. This blog, as others have already said, feels like home.

I'm an INFP. I did this career changing or job changing more than once. I start a "life project" and then lose interest in it and start doing something else.
I also procrastinate a lot and hate schedules.

What I want to say is that I do not believe this should be considered a medical condition like ADD or ADHD.

I believe there is nothing wrong with being the way we are. Actually I do believe that the rest of the world is crazy. Yes, I do believe that it is completely insane to work as much as people do nowadays.
I believe that most people live boring and useless lives. People are not machines! Getting up at the same hour every day, then going to work and doing the same thing day after day all your life... for what? for money and social status.
And while doing this most people neglect their relationships with others. This is why there are wars, this is why there is pollution, this is why there are so many unhappy children, this is why there are so many suicides, this is why the divorce rate is so high. All because of this rat race of human kind.

So, my dear INFPs, I believe WE ARE THE PSYCHOLOGICALLY HEALTHY ONES. We want to live free and careless and in harmony with all the others.

I also believe that you are not the under-achievers that you consider yourselves to be. The only reason you did not achieve more is because down deep inside you feel that this rat race is a mad thing.

God bless you all!

Posted by vlladu -- December 8, 2008 01:42 AM

Ahhh! i can't tell you what a sigh of relief this site is!! i've ALwAyS felt weird/not normal, but just recently have been delving into understanding/diagnosing myself, and the INFP is the puzzle piece i've been looking for. i'm not sure if i want to be medicated for the ADD though, having issues with that. i just want to say thank you all, for your words of encouragment and experience. 'remember your heart is is a weapon the size of your fist, keep fighting, keep loving!'..

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Posted by aslam -- December 15, 2008 08:33 PM

Great blog, great posts, very encouraging! INFP and almost certain inattentive ADD 40 year old here....wondering if anyone else has trouble remembering things they've been told, especially at work.

I was considered "gifted" in school, and I know I'm not stupid, but I sure feel that way at times around these STJs at work. I realllllly try to do a good job at work, but sometimes I do ask a question more than once because I've forgotten the answer from the first time. I hate to ask questions at all anymore, because I fear getting a sarcastic/belittling answer.

I'm working in customer service at a magazine publishing company, and there are a gazillion little details and procedures that I'm supposed to remember, with new ones all the time. I take notes often, but sometimes I guess I forget to do that too, thinking that I'll remember whatever I'm being told. I feel that this job is not brain surgery, and I should be able to retain this stuff, but I still have trouble and then feel like crap really often.

Sigh...wish I could find a job with the creativity/autonomy/cooperative environment I crave. It would be great to be working at something where I felt really competent, at least moderately appreciated and paid decently. I do have a creative side business, so I guess that's something. Anyway, could write more, but will stop for now. Any wisdom or just commiseration will be appreciated!

Posted by Deb -- December 17, 2008 12:50 AM

Hi, i'm an INFP bipolar drepressed with no job and few friends left. I'm really happy to see that I'm not alone in this situation and sad at the same time that so many people feel the same as me.But don't give up guys ! :) And sorry for my english :p

Posted by justanotherinfp -- December 17, 2008 04:52 PM

Hi, Just Another! Your English is just fine. After my sad post yesterday, I had a good day today at work. I hope you'll find a job (or non-traditional job, like a business) that you like....don't give up....I'm not! I'm sure you are intelligent and creative...just keep looking for something where you can use your gifts.

Don't forget that you have to keep reaching out to other people, even when it's hard. Just don't expect them to be able to solve your problems. I have some friends who it's hard to be around because they are constantly venting about the drama in their lives, wanting sympathy. It seems that we can never just "hang out" and have a nice time. It's not that I don't want to hear about the tough times, it's just that it's a constant theme with them.

I'm not saying that you do this, since I obviously would not know. Please forgive me if I'm way off base!! But if you do feel like that could fit you, maybe just try hanging out, going to a movie, painting pottery, even just cooking a meal for a friend or two and listening to them. People love it when you listen to them. And then they will be more willing to listen to you when you're having a hard time. I sincerely hope things look up for you....again, don't give up hope!!

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Deb,

As to your post from Dec 17, "..wondering if anyone else has trouble remembering things they've been told, especially at work." Absolutely, I was told from an early age, "you can't follow directions". I was in very similar job troubles, too. Those sorts of jobs are tough for us.

I think we need to strive to find careers more in keeping with our natural INFP abilities. Get the book I mentioned previously from your local library, 'Do What You Are', and look up our type. There is a whole list of careers. Try to get hold of the 3rd edition.. (The only differences in the editions though, to my knowledge, are that jobs that didn't exist in previous editions are listed in italics in the 2nd and 3rd editions.)

I may be completely wrong, but I would caution anyone about taking medications, though.. I tend to think we simply need to find appropriate lifestyles, and gain more self-awareness so that we can better work with our strengths, and be on guard for our "blind spots". I don't think we're stupid at all, just different, but I've certainly felt "stupid" in the same kinds of situations you did; it's a horrible feeling- I think we need to look hard a careers that are more appropriate for us.

There's also good general advice and career advice on the "personality type" website. Sorry, I'm going from memory here, but if you simply search on infp, it will be among the first to come up, I'm pretty sure. A lot of good information there!

Posted by Joe -- December 20, 2008 12:06 PM

Hi all..feel more relaxed after reading this blog again.

TB here..thanks for the CBT advice Joe, I've seen my GP and he's sending me for consultation this month. Lessons in hard logic may come in very handy.

Deb, yes inability to remember verbal instructions is definately a challenge for me. Still out of work (it's been nearly 3 months) partly due to the above mentioned anxiety and partly cos my idea of the ideal job changes everyday! I like the sound of the book 'Do what you are ' will check it out, thanks.

Also, have signed up for some voluntary work.. this feels great in soo many ways;

1. Less pressure (from myself of course)to do a perfect job

2. It's for a worthwhile cause

3. It opens my eyes to where my true interests lie and may help in choosing a lasting career.

Has anyone tried self employment / several part time jobs? This may be an option worth considering.

It's reeeaallly helpful and encouraging to know so many of you have changed careers a few times or started 'life projects'

Viladu, I hate schedules too! However, I do think we would benefit if we gave it a shot..I'm gona give it another go (for the 100th time haha) ..will let you know how goes ; )

T

Posted by -- December 30, 2008 01:28 PM

Same here there are many people around us who passing from the same situation, yeh little relax after reading this post, i also wanted tell same never give up from your situation hit and hit them hard....

Posted by ecommerce solutions -- December 30, 2008 11:14 PM

Any of you other INFP's think we're more inclined to be hippie-ish?

Here's my life story supporting your theory:
It's kinda funny because i was diagnosed with "inattentive" ADD in 2nd grade (still amazes me that my teacher recognized i was more than just a stupid kid who couldn't pay attention). then i diagnosed with clinical depression in 8th grade. in 10th or 11th grade i took the thing and got INFP. btw, Adderall works wonders, but none of the anti-depressants ever did.. shit sucks.

Posted by Mike -- January 22, 2009 03:13 PM

36 years old. FOund out about MBTI and being an INFP at 19. Being an introvert came as a surprise as I've always been friendly and talkative but felt lonely inside.In the past several years self-diagnosed as ADHD -- inattentive type. Depression has been a problem from about age 11. Am still in the process of learning to appreciate being an INFP. Am blessed to have a psychologist who is INFP too working with me. Spent the fall semester in a PhD program but stopped when I realized the irony of what the stress was doing to me and everyone around me, on the way of becoming a clinician... Am hoping to go back to school, though, in a year or two. Have been considering medication several times --especially to help me concentrate better in school and manage my moods ( although I did excell -- but could never take notes and had to rely on recordings). It is helpful to read about others' experiences and learn new ways of coping and appreciating ourselves. We have great gifts to give to ourselves and the world. Don't let it go to waste! Love yourself and be kind to yourself and remember at all times that you are an amaging human being! Take care. L.

Posted by Laura -- January 26, 2009 09:44 PM

i suppose i don't have anything new to add here, but for the sake of adding some more perspective and scope to the enigma that is INFP:
i'm an infp w/ self-diagnosed inattentive add. it took me ten years to finish college, but i finally did it! (always got pretty good grades without studying too hard, and depended on the generosity of many professors allowing me to turn in late and incomplete work.) for years i've self-medicated my add and insomnia with alcohol and weed, but now i'm realizing that i need to make some hardcore lifestyle changes if i'm going to recognize my dream of being a successful english and esl teacher. i want so badly to be healthy, productive, and worthwhile, yet my flustered mind is always going, going, going, and it requires all the energy i can muster to do the simplest tasks. always late, forgetting the plans, losing personal items left and right, paying late fees for forgetting to pay my bills on time... i hate it, i hate it, i hate it! i always thought once i finished school and had my career to focus on, the notion of being needed to fuel me, i'd naturally do a lot better concerning the details of daily maintenance. aaah! i feel like instead the anxiety and self-consciousness has only gotten much, much worse. i am afraid if i don't change my life will be ruined. how can we apply all of our wonderful qualities to something useful and purposeful for the betterment of humanity? we have to work on ourselves first, i suppose. i'm thinking medication is the only way to go...

Posted by julia -- February 2, 2009 11:31 PM

lol i have a enfp friend, and this is TOTALLY him! :)

ENFP: God, help me to keep my mind on one th -Look a bird- ing at a time.

but anyway, I am an infp, and before i found that out, i took tests on the internet and found that i was at a high rate for ADD, so this article is very interesting...

Posted by ethan -- February 6, 2009 01:01 AM

If ya'll want to find some peace and harmony, and feel more understood, you could come look at this Yahoo group - INFPsONLY. It really is just INFPs.
It's not my group or anything. It really is just a thought for if you want to feel more understood. Reading all these posts... just oh my goodness. Some peopl ehave expressed exactly how I feel and exactly my thoughts. It's so beautiful.

And yes, I have ADHD (inattentive type) and severe depression, along with generalized anxiety. I loved this article.

Posted by Meagen -- February 10, 2009 11:49 PM

wow as much as I love being an INFP it can be rough sometimes

Posted by Jake -- February 25, 2009 11:57 PM

I am ADHD, INFP, MS in Engineering (was tough, but my strong will got me through, job hunting is another story). I wish I figured my personalty type when I was young, I could have made a different choice about my career. It should be taught in High School as part of self-exploration carriculum. It will help kids a lot.
It surely is therapeutic to know that I am not a wierd person, just unique, and there are people of my type out there. To be honest with you, quite a few of my personality traits, I enjoy a great deal!! It is the expectation of the world (such as deadlines, strict obligations...etc) on us that make us unhappy. Hei, may be we should come up with our own nation and Name it ADHDtopia. Believe me, most of us being NTFPs, we are pretty ethical and conciencious, so we can dispense with law enforcement. Deadlines will be optional, being late for work will not be punished because the work will always be done sooner all later. Don't you think that will be a great idea. Our moto will be welcome to the town of ADHDtopia where flexibility is our virtue and where immagination runs wild!!

Creative hah...well that is a virtue all ADHD share.

David

Posted by David -- March 6, 2009 06:31 PM

Hi all.

I have to apologize, and I am sure you will all understand...

A while ago I started the Yahoo group for us and never actually took care of it. Now its basically a pool of spam. Also, my account was inactive for so long I think it was lost and now I can't get in as the moderator to fix anything.

Hmm, being excited about something and then not following through , can anyone imagine that?

If anyone, who thinks they will be on top of it would like to start a new one, that would be great.

As for me, whenever things are overwhelming I love to come here and feel that I am not alone.
I have come to fantasize all of us getting together, sharing stories, sympathy, and collective sighs...then some laughing too.

God bless
EP

Posted by EP -- March 12, 2009 03:07 PM

Also, I would venture a guess that no one here is good at sports- I'm sure not. It's not terribly important to know but as I am looking over the posts it just hit me as a curiosity-what do you say?

Best,
EP

Posted by EP -- March 18, 2009 03:26 PM

It's just not only I'm not good at sport. But I'm awful at it to the point of embarassing myself all the time :(
Actually it's not just sport, everything that evolve
using my hands or body; knitting, handcraft work, cutting paper, riding bike... umm all of it. Things that comes easy with other people, seem impossible to me. But at the same times, things that hard for most people come easy for me; math and language are piece of cake, psychology, philosophy... seem like I can get at these stuff easily on intuitive level. I guess I live inside my head too much. :O


I wish this page keeps going and never died. I can
relate to all of you and it is such a big comfort to me to know that I'm not alone in my being. So thanks a lot u guys,.. you don't know how meaningful it is to me...(in a way, I think you know :) )


ps. sorry for my poor english.
btw... I don't know what I'll do with my life!!!

Posted by -- April 8, 2009 01:16 PM

It's just not only I'm not good at sport. But I'm awful at it to the point of embarassing myself all the time :(
Actually it's not just sport, everything that evolve
using my hands or body; knitting, handcraft work, cutting paper, riding bike... umm all of it. Things that comes easy with other people, seem impossible to me. But at the same times, things that hard for most people come easy for me; math and language are piece of cake, psychology, philosophy... seem like I can get at these stuff easily on intuitive level. I guess I live inside my head too much. :O


I wish this page keeps going and never died. I can
relate to all of you and it is such a big comfort to me to know that I'm not alone in my being. So thanks a lot u guys,.. you don't know how meaningful it is to me...(in a way, I think you know :) )


ps. sorry for my poor english.
btw... I don't know what I'll do with my life!!!

Posted by underradar -- April 8, 2009 01:22 PM

Ahhh my fellow INFP's.
I never got checked for ADD or being Bi-Polar. But the thought of being Bi-Polar has crossed my mind many a time. I'm still only a Teen, but I feel as if I have grasped many philisophical ideals and while reading descriptions of INFP's i was laughing because of how accurate it was. The fact that if i am Passionate about a subject i will go all out. But if the subject bores me I lose interest incredibly fast. I thought I was just lazy but I guess it is our brain function. My first phase of being an INFP revolved around bettering myself to be the best I can or in the world, but recently I focus on both that and bettering the world.
I go in and out of moods of being incredibly positive to being upset about what the point is of my life... but I have decided to not check if I am bi-polar because I see it as a weakness and make myself prove my strength by working through it every time it comes up.
I am no doubt a dreamer and make up wonderful Ideals in my head. If one was to see what I create in my head, one would enjoy the perfection of each thought, I hope, and enjoy themselves as I wish most people would.
I love focusing on others and want everyone to be happy with themselves.
Its very important to me.
I try to understand most everything.
The only thing that helps me through those hard times those is my faith in God. And to those of you who have a hard time with the downs of being an INFP should look into being religous.
I wake up and think of what God has in store for me. For some reason I feel like I have some destiny to be fulfilled. Whether that is rude or not, I cannot help but feel different from most everyone I know or meet.
Maybe that is a characteristic of being an INFP.

Over all I enjoy my differences. Even though it causes me to feel out of place most of the time. I hope everyone learns to appreciate their differences.

I love being an INFP! We'll all better the world... I promise! :]

Posted by EvanneF -- April 8, 2009 09:12 PM

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Posted by Anonymous -- April 10, 2009 05:39 AM

It seems like INFPs are stuck living life unsatisfied and melancholic, or am I the only one noticing that? Maybe it's just my age I hope. I'm 17, and I'm becoming more extroverted so I'm hoping that by adulthood I can become a full blown ENFP. But I have taken the myer-briggs test several times on different occasions and the results never vary. I'm an INFP, through and through. For now anyways ;)

Posted by What's in a name? -- April 13, 2009 12:58 AM

Hello there:) I just found this site a few days ago, and since the article was written actually a couple of years ago I`m not really sure if anyone is still checking on it. Anyways it feels great to read soo many thoughts and words that mirror my own and not feel the odd one out for thinking/writting them. I took my time to read the whole page, not wanting to leave anyone`s response out just because I`m easily bored. I found out I was an INFP a few weeks ago, read A LOT of descriptions and am still a little dumbfounded, because it all fits soo well. Explains the feeling of weirdness I had since I`ve been aware of my existence.
Oh boy, this is gonna be long...
Before I go on to anyone who might be reading this I apologise for starting every sentence with I, it`s annoying even to myself as I am not used to talking/writting about myself soo much, but I just can`t help it:D
Soo here I go again... I had quite a few emotional outbursts reading all of this, it just all feels so familiar and it`s a relief to know I`m not the only one experiencing the world the way I do. I believe I have ADD(the inatentive type), but will not take any tests or meds. Sure it sucks no one around me actually understands what it feels like,or believes me, even I always thought I was just being extremely lazy and would then get upset with myself because of it. Most of todays teens are like that, right? But I do know it`s just a part of who I am and will take it gladly cuz it seems to be a package deal. I get all the other great INFP characteristics in return:)I feel as a part of a priviledged society, the INFP world.
As for school I finnished high school last year and am now at law school. I know it`s not a typical choice for us creative spirits, but I do follow my cause and will hopefully be able to make or at least start even a small difference in the world someday. Class is interesting, not all of it, but I don`t think there exists a completelly interesting school(if you know one let me know:)). The only thing that gets me are the people here...maybe I`m just misinterpreting it, but most of them seem so fake and in it for the money. Of course I could be wrong, there are exceptions also, but I don`t really have new friends. Acquaintances yes, friends no. I mostly hang out with the exclusive few from high school as I always prefered quality over quantity. Maybe I`m just over complicating things-soo typical:) In the terms of other relationships, I am told I am attractive, but not from the right type of guys. I need someone deep, whom I can trust completely, that won`t give up on me just because I don`t open up fast enough, not someone who`s looking for some one night stand. I`ve never fallen in love before, but I did get my self-esteem crushed a few times. The last time I was seeing some guy for 3 months and the longer it lasted, less I liked him on the psychical level. We just didn`t connect. But it still hurt when I saw him at a party with another girl, right after he introduced me to his best friends, which I constructed as if he ment it seriously with me. And he supposedly is in a relationship with that girl since then.
After that i spent 2 and a half months in some kind of foggy reality. Didn`t care about anything really, I wasn`t suicidal, just kind of empty. Then I decided that everything happens for a reason and I learned from it, rather than keep asking myself what I did wrong. I know someday I`ll meet my soulmate and till then I`d rather walk alone than in bad company:) I`d get lonely at times, but I do have vivid dreams about (at least I think) my soulmate and deja-vus and that`s enough to keep my hope for now. I felt bad after my "awakening" about not going out as much as I used to. I didn`t miss the socialising, I actually realized I prefered being alone, I just felt bad for not drinking and smoking pot(never liked cigarettes) and clubbing with my friends. Not that I didn`t enjoy it once in a while(say maybe every 2 months?),except the clubbing,never liked that, and they aren`t a bad crowd at all...it just wore me out to much. Didn`t realize I like the pot thing a little to much until I lit a joint alone on my balcony with my older brother in the room next door. After that I had the most scary and sad dream ever, actually woke up crying. It just felt so real, all the feelings, my love for that boy in the dream that I saw stick a needle in his arm...I felt totally helpless and he felt hopeless. So instead I started meeting with friends over lunch-dates and drinks. I even started working out more, though I`m not very consistent. I am a vegetarian, as a result of my values, and sugar sensitive, but still love to eat.

I`m not even sure why I wrote all of this. I guess it just feels right to share a part of who I am in return for all the sincere words and stories on this page. To add my stamp, my small epiphany, encourage all of the lost INFPs who just found out that they are indeed not so alone as they thought. I do not believe in God as such, but am sure that our existence isn`t meaningless. As someone before wrote, we seem to be the ones that are ment do what we love, we just need some time to figure out what exactly that is and how to make it work.


"Our calling is where our deepest gladness and the world`s hunger meet." Fredrick Buechner


P.S. I`m a saggitarius, with the moon(I think thats what it`s called) in libra. And don`t mind all the misspellings, English isn`t my first language ( but I do tend to think/speak? in it inside my head most of the time. Who knows why.).

Cheers and hugs,

Parrish

Posted by Parrish -- April 23, 2009 01:24 PM