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Tuesday, January 29, 2008

無悔 (No regrets) by 張惠妹 (A-mei)

It's already almost the end of first month in 2008. The past year has seen major changes in my life. But you know what, I think there might be more this year. Hopefully for the better.

Been listening to A-mei's stuff these past couple of days...

I've always tried to live my life without regret. Can't say I'm always successful, but at the end of the day, I can say, at least I tried. I'd rather have taken the step, attempted something, even taking a risk, and regret the action, than to regret not doing anything.

But, some great lyrics and my rough translation follows:

我靜靜坐在車裡面 雨灑遍車外的世界

你總是錯了才後悔 我總是讓你說抱歉

你要我再給你機會 我感到無奈而疲憊
車外的雨籠罩一切 車裡的我暮然發現
在不知不覺之中 已經快要走到終點

愛可以無悔 可以無怨
我不想有悔 不想含怨
就請你答應我 在走到盡頭之前說再見

我無悔 我無怨

rough translation:

Still, I sat alone in the car
Spill, the rain on the world outside
In the rear view mirror I see myself
So pale and forlorn

You, only regret after a wrong
Me, always letting you say you're sorry
Love, the story repeatedly being told
Between forgiveness and heartbreak

From me, you want yet another chance
For me, only hopelessness and exhaustion
The rain drowning all but my sudden realization
Subconsciously, we've almost reached the end

Love can be without regret, without complaint
Except we're completely depleted
To go through it again
I don't want regrets, don't want grudges
So please promise me
Say goodbye before we've reached the end

No regrets... no complaints...
Just promise me... goodbye... before the end

cybette wrote this at 07:44 PM ... Comments (2)

Saturday, October 27, 2007

For The Heart I Once Had

(I'll blog again soon, I promise. But for now I'm enjoying Nightwish's latest album with their new vocalist Anette Olzon. It's amazing. They're on tour in USA right now so go watch them if you can! They'll be touring back in Finland in December, but - blame my own procrastination - most venues are sold out. Sigh... maybe I'll try to catch them somewhere else in Europe. Anyway here's one of my favorite songs of the album. It was kinda hard to choose one because almost all the songs are great. But maybe this one the lyrics hit closer to home...)

Heaven today is but a way
To a place I once called home
Heart of a child, one final sigh
As another love goes cold

Once my heart beat to the rhythm of the falling snow
Blackened below, the river now flows
A stream of molten virgin snow

For the heart I'll never have
For the child forever gone
The music flows, because it longs
For the heart I once had

Living today without a way
To understand the weight of the world
Faded and torn, old and forlorn
My weak and hoping heart

For the child, for the light
For the heart I once had
I'll believe and foresee
Everything I could ever be

For the heart I'll never have
For the child forever gone
The music flows, because it longs
For the heart I once had

Time will not heal a Dead Boy's scars
Time will kill

For the heart I'll never have
For the child forever gone
The music flows, because it longs
For the heart I once had

cybette wrote this at 05:58 PM ... Comments (1)

Friday, July 27, 2007

Can't think of a title right now

02.07.2007 to 20.07.2007 I was in Finland

Plans. Decisions. Apprehension. Excitement.

I'm bubbling with some news I can't quite share yet. I just hope everything works out.

In the meantime I've been listening to too much A-mei. Love her voice. And some of the songs are just... well let's just say it's been an unusually emotional period for me and the words just strike a chord.

I wish I could write like that...

Anyway, time to snap out of my sappy mood and get on with the action! Life, while worth pondering over from time to time, needs to be LIVED as well.


作詞:陳樂融 / 作曲:陳志遠

說什麼都多餘 你不能再讓我相信
猜不透你的心 至少能瀟灑的離去
狂風暴雨 雲淡風輕 一生總有許多遭遇
生命不可能完美 感謝你讓我變聰明

醉比醒容易 我的真佩服我自己
笑比哭美麗 我不想脆弱的老去
寧願放棄 不願灰心
你打開窗 讓我清醒
生命如此的完整 何苦再折磨彼此

我愛過你 我恨過你
刻骨銘心 都已痊癒
男人學不會 怎樣的女人
值得被愛 被珍惜

我愛過你 我不願恨你
因為回憶 需要更多的勇氣


cybette wrote this at 07:20 AM ... Comments (1)

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Two RGS Songs

Some of the best years of my life were in Raffles Girls School (my parents would probably beg to differ, as I didn't do very well academically during that period). Many fond memories including band practices and performances; being part of the "clan of the back row" with Alicia, Olivia and Frances (weren't we kinda rowdy?); and even conducting the school while singing the National Anthem during morning assemblies.

I usually have a hard time remembering lyrics. Take for example the National Anthem, even though we sang it everyday for years, I still don't quite know all the words (perhaps the fact that it's in Malay has a part to play as well...). When I listen to a new CD, usually by the third or fourth round I can hum along to most of the songs, but it'll be a miracle if I caught more than five lines of lyrics.

This morning I was going through some emails where my ex-classmates were discussing about the RGPS school song... but I didn't go to RGPS :) Although I think the tune of the SMPS school song is coming back to me in bits and pieces (and that has to happen before the words will come). But when they talked about the song "Dedication", WHAM, the melody hit me - WITH THE LYRICS - and rang clearly in my head! For one reason or other, these words stuck with me through the years, impervious to my otherwise failing memory.

Along with this, I started to remember another song, the "motto" song. So here they are, dedicated to all (ex) RGS girls who might come across this blog entry. I'll post the tunes later when I hunt down a nice music notation software.

Filiae Melioris Aevi!


We have shared our morning days
And gone through all rainy nights
Even in the darkest of nights
Stars still light up our way

Tomorrow is a beautiful dream
A dream that will be fulfilled
Cross the bridge of rainbow
In search of the gold

For here we stand
Our dearest friend
Sincerely from our hearts we wish
May streams of sunlight
Shine like rays of hope
Hand in hand, we'll work and strive
For the best things in life

Filiae Melioris Aevi

Now as we remember
Strains of our school song
Call to mind our motto
Filiae Melioris Aevi

Filiae Melioris Aevi
Daughters of a better age
United by a common goal
Filiae Melioris Aevi

cybette wrote this at 03:18 PM ... Comments (15)

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Tell Him

Love this duet by Barbra Streisand and Celine Dion. We were at a mid-autumn festival party at my co-workers place and he had a karaoke system. Everyone was trying to get my sister to sing something since I always brag to them about how good she is. She didn't want to sing any Chinese songs (most songs in the system were Chinese) and regular "pop" songs were not her style either, plus she didn't want to sing alone so we were trying to find an English duet. I was actually hoping for a guy-girl duet so that I could sing the guy part. Really, I have less problems singing most male vocal parts than female ones. My range is a low alto crossed over to high tenor. But then she found this song, which is for two SOPRANOS! Ahhh... of course she'd have no problems, she excels in the stratospheric ranges. But poor me... while Streisand's role is the "more mature and wiser" woman in the song, singing the lower of the harmonies, she is first and formost a fantastic soprano with incredible range, so her solo parts soared to the same heights as Dion's.

So there I was, trying to sound older and wiser while screeching the bloody notes out, whereas Evana glided gracefully and effortlessly in her rendition of the young woman who's lost and afraid and seeking some advice. I think she has secretly prepared for this... because she knew exactly when to come in (the karaoke version was actually rearranged for one singer so there were no cues for the two separate parts), knew precisely how the notes and runs went... her performance was flawless while I kept asking "is it my turn?", "Do I come in here?" etc. Considering the last time I heard this piece was probably more than 5 years ago, I think I did ok. There were maybe two low notes in the whole song that fall in my optimal register, so I savored those couple of seconds and milked them for all their worth. Plus I'm great at harmonizing so the refrains where both of us come in sounded wonderful.

Great melody aside, this song's lyrics are meaningful too. It's fitting because I'm the older (not sure about "wiser") one, and the words match what I regularly preach in my blog ;) Anyway, the regular font is Celine's part, the italics represent Barbra's part, and bold is when both of them sing. (I have both the CDs that this song is in if anyone wants to borrow: Dion's Let's talk about love and Streisand's Higher ground - both released circa 1997.)


I'm scared
So afraid to show I care
Will he think me weak
If I tremble when I speak
Ooohh... what if...
there's another one he's thinking of?
Maybe he's in love, I'd feel like a fool
Life can be so cruel, I don't know what to do

I've been there
With my heart out in my hand
But what you must understand, you can't let
the chance to love him pass you by

Tell him...
Tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper, tender words so soft and sweet

I'll hold him close to feel his heart beat
Love will be the gift you give yourself

Touch him (ohhh...)
With the gentleness you feel inside (I feel it)
Your love can't be denied, the truth will set you free
You'll have what's meant to be, all in time you'll see

Ooh, I love him (then show him)
Of that much I can be sure (hold him close to you)
I don't think I could endure, if I let him walk away
When I have so much to say

Tell him...
Tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper, tender words so soft and sweet

Hold him close to feel his heart beat
Love will be the gift you give yourself

Love is the light that surely glows
In the hearts of those who know
It's a steady flame that grows
Feed the fire with all the passion you can show
Tonight love will assume its place
This memory time cannot erase
Your faith will lead love where it has to go

Tell him...
Tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes
Reach out to him
And whisper, whisper words so soft and sweet

Hold him close to feel his heart beat
Love will be the gift you give yourself

Oooh... Never let him go

cybette wrote this at 02:49 AM ... Comments (3)

Wednesday, May 17, 2006


所以我願意 by 張惠妹

每朵凋零花蕊 總在冬天積累
每顆掉落的淚 會在沙漠裡輪迴

因為懂得可惜 才懂得珍惜
擁有要先 學會了失去
所以我願意 跟隨我自己
取而代之的全是 勇氣

每次傷痕累累 學會分辨真偽
每段痛心懺悔 把愛進一步找回

因為懂得可惜 才懂得珍惜
擁有要先 學會了失去
所以我願意 跟隨我自己
取而代之的卻是 ...

對愛我仍願相信 只是命運沒捷徑

因為懂得可惜 才懂得珍惜
擁有要先 學會了失去
所以我願意 跟隨我自己
取而代之的全是 勇氣

(Video on YouTube)

cybette wrote this at 07:53 AM ... Comments (1)

Friday, March 31, 2006

I Believe I can Fly

I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly....

See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes silence can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me

If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

I believe I can fly...

If I just spread my wings
I can fly....


While I really love to travel and visit new places and see different things and learn about various cultures and eat strange foods, what I most enjoy on every trip that I take is being in the sky. Flying. Love the takeoffs and landings. Love turbulence. Love looking out the window at the world below. (Even though on most flights I take with Bruce, I let him have the window seat...)

When I was a teenager I wanted to be a flight attendant with Singapore Airlines. To many, it was a glamour or fun thing, but I just wanted to be in the sky. Alas, I'm not tall or thin or pretty enough. Why not aspire to be a pilot, you ask? Well, in Singapore, you need to have perfect eyesight just to take flying classes. But now, here in the states, you just need to have "corrected" vision of 20/20, i.e. you can wear soft contact lenses. So there's hope for me after all.

Many people might not know this, but one of my main motivations of considering lasik is so that I can learn to fly. Not so much about convenience (I'm used to my glasses anyway since I've been wearing them for so long). And not really about looking better either (I'll need plastic surgery for that... plus I'm not after the flight attendant job anymore... plus even if I was, the airlines here are not as particular about looks.)

My dreams are lofty and crazy and unrealistic, but I shall dream anyway. I'd like to be a commercial airline pilot. Flying across the Pacific to Asia, or across the Atlantic to Europe. "Welcome aboard, this is your captain speaking! We'll be cruising at 35 thousand feet. We have clear skies so I don't foresee much turbulance (darn), but for your entertainment, I'll do some barrel rolls and verticle loops. So please sit back, fasten your seat belts, and enjoy your flight!!"

Wonder if I'm too old to enlist? Maybe I can be a fighter pilot... or a test pilot for experimental aircrafts. Hmmm.... anyway, to make dreams come true, I still need a concrete plan. So I'm gonna work hard and save money and go for lasik next year and start reading up on getting my private pilot's license including VFR/IFR/CFI... practice on MS Flight Simulator, take lessons... to get more hours maybe I can fly for charity, or teach.... gosh, I'm getting excited and impatient at the same time. But I need to pace myself... sometimes when I try to do too much too soon, things fall apart and I end up not achieving anything.

I believe I can fly.
Let my dream take flight.......

cybette wrote this at 06:25 AM ... Comments (2)

Sunday, January 01, 2006

And the reason is...

The past week or so hasn't been the most festive. Stress, some issues, headaches... didn't feel Christmas-y or "wooo new year is coming!" at all. Bruce has something to do with it... and confronting him somehow made things worse for me instead of better. So yesterday as I fumed away silently behind the steering wheel with him next to me on our way to lunch, this song came on the radio. He turned to me and said, with what seemed like tears in his eyes (allergies maybe?), "I know I'm not perfect, but I love you with everything I've got. This song is like my anthem, to you. I'm sorry I didn't write it for you, but I mean it (all the words in the song)... it's heartlfelt all the way."

I felt tears forming in my eyes too (it's allergies!!). Sometimes (probably more often than not) we end up hurting those we love most (or loves us most). I hate getting hurt, but it'll be much worse if there was no love. Besides, I'm not the most perfect wife either... far from it! haha... Anyway, no new year resolutions, no new beginnings, but that's ok. It is just another day, another day to try to do my best, to try to be happy, to try to love the people in my life as much as possible.

Wishing love, happiness and PEACE to all~~

The Reason by Hoobastank

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

and the reason is you
and the reason is you
and the reason is you

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

cybette wrote this at 01:01 AM ... Comments (2)

Wednesday, September 14, 2005


Thanks to Keidy for buying the A-Mei CDs for me in Taiwan. Remind me to pay you back girl! Here's a song from the 發燒 album. Beautiful melody, meaningful lyrics. Dedicated to Jessie... sorry if what I said offended you. Love you always and hope you'll feel better soon!

作詞:易家揚   作曲:順子

風  說了什麼嗎   心  不夠安靜
我爬上山頂   閉上雙眼   聽一聽
我聽見白雲問我   說  想不想放棄
一想起那個名字   淚  落在我手心

夢  已經死了嗎   心  跳個不停
渴望的靈魂   等待下雨
我知道   還有愛   我相信
我聽見未來叫我   去  找到我自己
我想起一個身影   他  愛過我的心

愛是一封信   它會寄來心裡
寫的人會是誰   要等到哪一天
我的一個夢   有人聽見了嗎
我一睡   就流淚
我聽見未來叫我   去  找到我自己
我張開我的雙耳   聽  真心的迴音

cybette wrote this at 03:43 AM ... Comments (2)

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Singapore Girl..

Suddenly missing Singapore a lot. Lots of memories come flooding back... from RGS times (Band, the BB's (Megan do you still remember that??), GEP classmates, watching the play "Singapore Girl", National day parades, BAND CAMPS!!!!!)... to AJC (love for computers started here, first 3 months in RJC, lots of BOYS around after spending forever in a nunnery, judo, hockey, librarian, CS geek)... to NUS (party non stop, orchestra, rock band, Jam and Hop, chairwoman of some computer club, in committees of 5 other clubs and member of 10 more, never studied, first true love and heartbreak)...... to all my friends (Meiyan, Qiqun, Russell, Raymond, AJC classmates (crushes), bandmates, Lynette, Eric, Han Wee, Vincent, James, Andrew, many others....)

There was this song from the play, I can vaguely remember the lyrics but can't find anything on Google... so let's put my poor memory to work here:

Singapore girl, we are more than you see
Singapore girl, we just want to be free
Let us learn (blah blah) each day
Find out in our own way
(blah blah...)
Women are we

We want to shout and to sing
To do everything
Discover a cure for cold, cancer and AIDS
And we will study, and study
And make sure our homework is done
So let us have time to remind us of friendship and fun, and FUN!

We are the (something..) girls with determination
(blah blah...)
If we don't live up to your expectations
Want us, love us, give us inspiration
(blah blah... this part totally can't remember)

cybette wrote this at 11:08 AM ... Comments (4)

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Wish I Had an Angel

Nice title isn't it? Kinda deceptive actually... it's a dark and heavy song by the metal band Nightwish from Finland. They are fronted by a female singer, so kinda reminds me of Evanescence, yet somewhat different. Both have been labeled as goth-metal or nu-metal bands. I think Nightwish is edgier, maybe because they mix in male vocals in many songs (this one being a good example) and the band plays hard to match Tarja's powerful operatic voice. Yes, the lead singer Tarja Turunen is a classically trained opera singer. Interesting juxtaposition, leading to another crossover genre name coined for bands like this: symphonic metal. Whatever kind of music it's known as, it is good, at least for the few songs that I've heard so far (mp3's from a Finnish co-worker). Tempted to get their CDs now....

Wish I Had an Angel

I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had your angel tonight

Deep into a dying day
I took a step outside an innocent heart
Prepare to hate me fall when I may
This night will hurt you like never before

Old loves they die hard
Old lies they die harder

I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had your angel
Your Virgin Mary undone
I'm in love with my lust
Burning angelwings to dust
I wish I had your angel tonight

I'm going down so frail 'n cruel
Drunken disguise changes all the rules

Old loves they die hard
Old lies they die harder

I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had your angel
Your Virgin Mary undone
I'm in love with my lust
Burning angelwings to dust
I wish I had your angel tonight

Greatest thrill
Not to kill
But to have the prize of the night
Wannabe friend
13th disciple who betrayed me for nothing!

Last dance, first kiss
Your touch my bliss
Beauty always comes with dark thoughts

I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had your angel
Your Virgin Mary undone
I'm in love with my lust
Burning angelwings to dust
I wish I had your angel tonight

I wish I had an angel....

cybette wrote this at 02:57 AM ... Comments (2)

Monday, February 28, 2005

Learn to be Lonely

I've watched the musical version of the Phantom of the Opera .... lemme think ... that was more than a decade ago (I'm getting old). The movie version was released recently and I haven't had a chance to see it yet - hopefully will get the chance soon. Most of the music in the movie is the same as in the musical, with the exception of this new song by Andrew Lloyd Webber. It was nominated for an Oscar - didn't win though - and Beyonce sang it at the awards show last night (in the movie it was sung by Minnie Driver).

Life can be lived and loved alone.....

Learn to be Lonely

Child of the wilderness
Born into emptiness
Learn to be lonely
Learn to find your way in darkness
Who will be there for you
Comfort and care for you
Learn to be lonely
Learn to be your one companion
Ever dreamed out in the world
There are arms to hold you?
You've always known
Your heart was on its own
So laugh in your loneliness
Child of the wilderness
Learn to be lonely
Learn how to love life that is lived alone
Learn to be lonely
Life can be lived
Life can be loved

cybette wrote this at 01:28 AM ... Comments (5)

Sunday, January 30, 2005

I Know the Truth

I love almost all the songs from the musical AIDA. My favorite is "Written in the Stars". A very close second is this song, "I Know the Truth", sung by Amneris when she found out her fiance is in love with another woman. Elton John actually wrote this song for Princess Diana, with slightly different lyrics. Lesli Margherita did a marvelous and heart-wrenching rendition of this in her performance yesterday at the Eisemann Center. I cried buckets as she sang...

I Know the Truth

How have I come to this?
How did I slip and fall?
How did I throw half a lifetime away
Without any thought at all?

This should've been my time
It's over, it never began
I closed my eyes to so much for so long
And I no longer can

I try to blame it on fortune
Some kind of shift in a star
But I know the truth and it haunts me
It's flown just a little too far
I know the truth and it mocks me
I know the truth and it shocks me
It's flown just a little too far

Why do I want him still?
Why, when there's nothing there?
How to go on with the rest of my life?
To pretend I don't care?

This should have been my time
It's over, it never began
I closed my eyes to so much for so long
And I no longer can

I try to blame it on fortune
Some kind of twist in my fate
But I know the truth and it haunts me
I learned it a little too late
Oh, I know the truth and it mocks me
I know the truth and it shocks me
I learned it a little too late
Too late...

cybette wrote this at 12:58 PM ... Comments (7)

Monday, June 28, 2004

Imaginary by Evanescence

Just sharing this song... too tired to write anything right now....


i linger in the doorway
of alarm clock screaming monsters calling my name
let me stay
where the wind will whisper to me
where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story

in my field of paper flowers
and candy clouds of lullaby
i lie inside myself for hours
and watch my purple sky fly over me

don't say i'm out of touch
with this rampant chaos - your reality
i know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
the nightmare i built my own world to escape

in my field of paper flowers
and candy clouds of lullaby
i lie inside myself for hours
and watch my purple sky fly over me

swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
cannot cease for the fear of silent nights
oh how i long for the deep sleep dreaming
the goddess of imaginary light

cybette wrote this at 05:04 AM ... Comments (1)

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Miss Saigon

So touching... at first I joked that my sister needs to bring a box of tissue... turns out I was the one needing that. I was fighting/wiping tears almost throughout the musical, starting with Gigi's "The Movie in my Mind". The singing was powerful, the acting was powerful, the music and orchestra were powerful, the lyrics were powerful... even the stage/set design was breathtaking... esp. the holographic helicopter that looked so real accompanied by sound effects that literally shook us in our seats.

Jennifer Paz was flawless as Kim. Although I'm used to hearing Lea Salonga with her beautiful voice as Kim (on the CD which I've heard countless times, enough to follow every word they were singing/saying), Jennifer blew me away. Johann Michael Camat was fantastic as The Engineer. But most of all, I loved Chad Ackerman as Chris. It's interesting that Chad is actually the understudy for Chris, but he performed with such passion and conviction that if he were singing to me, I would have fallen in love with him. I probably did anyway, for a while at least, during the musical. Even Simon Bowman who did a really good Chris on the CD didn't move me as much as Chad did.

The character I am most interested in, however, is Ellen. Rachel Kopf did a commendable job, but I was hoping for something more. I think Ellen is often overlooked. The protagonist Kim and her lover Chris were of course the "victims" of the times, of war, and of fate. Everyone would sympathize with them and feel sorry for them etc. Not to discount the pain and sorrow these two star-crossed lovers had to endure, but how many people actually paused and thought about what Ellen was feeling? Ok, so she didn't have to go through "difficult times". Does that make her love less worthy? I've read that some people even thought of her as being in the way of Chris and Kim getting reunited. Hello?? Chris married her. She is his wife! It's hard enough for her not to be able to connect with a certain part of him that still lingers in Vietnam. ("Knowing part of you I'll never share, never know....") So Kim comes back into Chris' life, Ellen is supposed to tie a big bow around him to present to Kim as a gift?

It's not that the touching, heart-wrenching, through-difficult-times, i-will-die-for-you kind of love is overrated. It's just that the "normal", "everyday" kind is underrated. Sure, if the story is about Chris and Ellen, there might not be a musical because people will find it "boring". That doesn't mean their love isn't true or powerful. That doesn't mean they don't suffer pain and sorrow along with joy and happiness in their relationship. My heart went out to Ellen as much as it did for Kim.

I love the duets and other multi-voiced numbers in the musical. The intertwining lyrics and melodies... sometimes reinforcing one another and other times breaking free... "I Still Believe" is sung by Kim and Ellen, not to each other, but both to Chris. Here's Ellen's half of it:

I Still Believe

Last night I watched you sleeping
Once more the nightmare came
I heard you cry out something
A word that sounded like... a name
And it hurts me more than I can bear
Knowing part of you I'll never share, never know...

But still, I still believe
The time will come when nothing keeps us apart
My heart, forever more, holds still

It's all over, I'm here, there is nothing to fear
Chris, what's haunting you?
Won't you let me inside what you so want to hide
I need you too!

I will hold you all night, I will make it all right
You are safe with me
And I wish you could tell what you don't want to tell
What your hell must be
You can sleep now, you can cry now
I'm your wife now... for life, until we die


Can't wait for Miss Saigon to come to Dallas again. You know how they have season tickets: for one performance of every musical in the series. I wonder if they have tickets to every performance of one musical in the series. Next time I'm going to watch it Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Saturday, Sunday, Sunday...

By the way, anybody has any idea where my Miss Saigon sheet music book is? I've been searching high and low... I found my Les Mis and Aida, but I want my Miss Saigon! Waaahhhhhh.....

cybette wrote this at 02:54 AM ... Comments (1)

Sunday, May 30, 2004

???????? ... ??{

I just discovered a book of short stories inspired by songs written by my favorite singer/composer Sky Wu titled "???????? - ?????????p??". Ah, why didn't I find out about it while I was in Taiwan last week? I could have gotten it then... oh well, maybe next time!

Turns out that Sky is a Leo with blood type B, same as me and Gloria. What else... my weight is also close to his (my god, I'm too heavy...) and "???????G??q?????", "?`????????G????", "??????G?e???\?n"... haha, I totally feel you, Sky! (yeah, right, if only I can "feel" him!) His best "celebrity" friend is ?i?H?? (Jeff Chang) who is my sister's favorite singer! Cool... even more cool is that he likes Linkin Park. Rock on!

Also found a song, sung by ?S??X (Fan Wei Qi) that's composed by Sky. Pleasant voice, meaningful lyrics, topped with a beautiful melody and arrangement. Ah, the makings of a good song....

(?@???G???Q??, ?@???G??????, ?s???G????)

?C?@?? ?????@?????N?|?o??
?C?q?? ?????Y?N?n?????{
?C???? ??????o?????????
?C??H ?????R?W?t?@??H???i??
?Q?R ?N?????`??|?????
?S???H???? ?o???H???H?? ?~??????
?Q???F???? ?{?b?N?n??{
?Q???F???? ?{?b?N?n??{
?]?L?h ??}?l???G???L?{

cybette wrote this at 07:29 AM ... Comments (3)

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

Keeping the Dream Alive

The hopes we had were much too high
Way out of reach but we had to try
The game will never be over
Because we're keeping the dream alive
-- Freiheit

cybette wrote this at 03:59 PM ... Comments (2)

Monday, March 29, 2004

Written in the Stars

We were listening to Leann Rimes' Greatest Hits CD on the drive back from San Antonio. I didn't realise that she and Elton John did a version of the song "Written in the Stars" which was from the Broadway musical AIDA. Great song.... great musical too, I'd love to see it again sometime (saw it once in NYC with Keidy last January).

It's wonderful to love and be loved in return... or is it?

?b?q San Antonio ?}???^?a?????W?M?????F Leann Rimes ??????CD????C???e??????D?o?M Elton John ????AIDA????@??????@???q "Written in the Stars"?C?n?n????q?M???n????q?@?M?????|??Q?A??X??(??e?u??L?@???M?O?h?~?@???? Keidy ?b?????)?C

?R?P?Q?R?M????O??????... ???O??S

Written in the Stars

I am here to tell you we can never meet again
Simple really, isn't it? A word or two, and then...
A lifetime of not knowing where or how or why or when
You think of me, or speak of me, and wonder what befell
The someone you once loved so long ago, so well

Never wonder what I'll feel as living shuffles by
You don't have to ask me and I need not reply
Every moment of my life from now until I die
I will think or dream of you and fail to understand
How a perfect love can be confounded out of hand

(Chorus) Is it written in the stars? Are we paying for some crime?
Is that all that we are good for, just a stretch of mortal time?
Or some God's experiment, in which we have no say?
In which we're given paradise but only for a day

Nothing can be altered, there is nothing to decide
No escape, no change of heart, nor any place to hide
You are all I'll ever want, but this I am denied
Sometimes in my darkest thoughts, I wish I'd never learned
What it is to be in love and have that love returned

(repeat chorus...)

cybette wrote this at 05:44 AM ... Comments (1)

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Evanescence - "Hello"

Most people I know who has heard the Fallen album by Evanescence are intrigued by the song "Hello". It sounds so haunting, so sad, so... heart wrenching. Many of us have wondered what (or who) the song is about, and now we know... I just read in the latest issue of Blender magazine that when Amy Lee was 6, her sister who was 3 years younger contracted an unidentified illness and passed away. That affected her outlook on life deeply and you can hear her pain in her voice singing that song. I can't imagine losing my own sister either...

Anyway, on a brighter note, Leah LaBelle is gone! Rumors say that next week's theme on American Idol is 'Country', which is not one of my favorite genres, but it'll still be interesting to see how the contestants do. Speaking of country, I just heard Kimberley Locke's new single "8th World Wonder" and thought it sounded almost country. Like Shania Twain, you know, country-pop crossover. Oh well...

????D??h??L Evanescence ?? Fallen ?M???H???Q "Hello" ?o???q?l??C????_????A?@??d??M?L?`?M?M?x?Z???P??C?????Q???D???q???y?z???O???H????M?{?b??????F?C????q Blender ???x?????M?? Amy Lee ?????????M???o?p?T?????f?f?o?F?????W???f?g??L?@?F?C?o?`?`?a?v?T?F?o???H?????k?M??A??o?? "Hello" ?????i?H?q?o?q?n??X?o???h???C??]?L?k?Q?????h???f?f?|?O????????P??...

???I?}????a?MLeah LaBelle ?Q?^?O?F?T????U???? American Idol ???D?D?O 'Country' (???????????S?m???S???J?S)?M???M???O????????w??????????M?????o????????????I?????Z?????C???? country music?M?????? Kimberley Locke ???s?D????"8th World Wonder" (??K??@??_??)?M??o???I country ???????C???I?? Shania Twain?M???y??/country ??X???P?....


playground school bell rings again
rain clouds come to play again
has no one told you she's not breathing?
hello i'm your mind giving you someone to talk to

if i smile and don't believe
soon i know i'll wake from this dream
don't try to fix me i'm not broken
hello i'm the lie living for you so you can hide
don't cry

suddenly i know i'm not sleeping
hello i'm still here
all that's left of yesterday

cybette wrote this at 05:36 PM ... Comments (6)

Wednesday, March 17, 2004


Re: Clay Clay Clay Clay...

Bought Clay Aiken's latest CD single that was released just yesterday. It consists of only two songs, "The Way" which is already in his album "Measure of a Man", and the b-side "Solitaire" which, in my opinion, epitomizes his singing talent. I've listened to it about 10 times now, and still can't get enough. There seems to be a few different versions of the lyrics to this song, but I managed to find the one he sings. Can't wait to see him at the Musikfest this August!

?R?F?Q????X?l?? Clay Aiken ???? CD?C?u?????q?M?b?L "Measure of a Man" ?M??????? "The Way"?M????@??(??{??)?D?`???N????M?i?{?L?q??~??? "Solitaire" (?i?H??? "???H????" ?a)?C??w?g???o???q??F?Q??M?M????????M??Q?A??C?o???q???q???n?????X????P???????M???L????L??????@???????F?C????K?????I??M?i?H?h Musikfest ??L?t??T


There was a man, a lonely man
Who lost his love through his indifference
A heart that cared, that went unshared
Until it died in his silence

And Solitaire's the only game in town
And every road that takes him, takes him down
And by himself it's easy to pretend
He'll never love again

And keeping to himself he plays the game
Without her love it always ends the same
While life goes on around him everywhere
He's playing Solitaire

Another day, a lonely day
So much to say that goes unspoken
And through the night, his sleepless nights
His eyes are closed, his heart is broken

And Solitaire's the only game in town
And every road that takes him, takes him down
And by himself it's easy to pretend
She's coming back again

And keeping to himself he plays the game
Without her love it always ends the same
While life goes on around him everywhere
He's playing Solitaire

A little hope, goes up in smoke
Just how it goes, goes without saying
And by himself it's easy to pretend
He'll never love again

Oh and keeping to himself he plays the game
Without her love it always ends the same
While life goes on around him everywhere
He's playing Solitaire
Solitaire, solitaire

cybette wrote this at 02:06 AM ... Comments (1)

Thursday, February 26, 2004

It might as well be Spring

Some places/events I might check out in the next couple of months:

  • Dallas Auto Show, March 3-7

  • Irish Festival at the Fair Park, March 5-7

  • Kimbell Art Museum

  • Dallas Museum of Art

  • North Texas Jazz Festival, April 2-4

  • Houston Auto Show, April 2-11
  • For the concert this Friday, we're singing 9 songs instead of 10 originally. The one we left out is actually one of my favorites, and also it's kinda echoing what I'm feeling now:

    It Might As Well Be Spring
    By Rodgers & Hammerstein

    I'm as restless as a willow in a windstorm
    I'm as jumpy as a puppet on a string
    I'd say that I had spring fever
    But I know it isn't spring

    I am starry-eyed and vaguely discontented
    Like a nightingale without a song to sing
    Oh why should I have spring fever
    When it isn't even spring?

    I keep wishing I were somewhere else
    Walking down a strange new street
    Hearing words that I have never heard
    From a man I've yet to meet

    I'm as busy as a spider spinning daydreams
    I'm as giddy as a baby on a swing
    I haven't seen a crocus or a rosebud
    Or a robin on the wing

    But I feel so gay in a melancholy way
    That it might as well be spring
    It might as well be spring

    cybette wrote this at 05:53 AM ... Comments (2)

    Thursday, February 19, 2004

    Bring Me To Life

    I'm tired of putting on a facade. Yes, I'm lucky to have worked at Nokia. Yes, I should be thankful for the opportunity (and indeed I am). Yes, even though in the end I didn't get the job, I have learnt a lot and the work experience will be helpful in looking for a new job. Yes, I might find something else that's suitable for me. Yes, Bruce is very supportive and understanding and never pressured me or anything during this time. Yes, I'm the luckiest bitch on earth. So why do I still feel so miserable?

    It's almost like breaking up with someone. After spending a year and half at Nokia, it felt like a second home. Packing my stuff up before I left was like picking up stuff from an ex-boyfriend's place after the break up. Even though I gained so much, or perhaps I should say, because I gained so much from Nokia, the sense of loss is just so much greater. It's just like, a bad breakup is hard to get over. But a "good" breakup (if therer's such a thing) is even harder. I guess I felt like I didn't have a right to grieve because everything went so well for me (until the last part that is). I didn't allow myself to feel bad for myself. It's like, "You lucky ass Carol, you should be thankful. So many people didn't have what you've had. Just get on with your life. You'll find something else, maybe something better, maybe not. But life's too short to dwell on the could've-been's." Well, that way of thinking worked, for a while that is.

    I pride myself at being strong. My mind is telling me that it's irrational to be emotional about this situation. But I feel stuck and trapped, like I can't move on with my life. I'm in limbo right now. I can't tap into the optimistic me. I can't quite feel the emotional me either. I'm waiting for my tears to fall, but they're leaving me high and dry. So I'm like a zombie, yet deep inside me a voice is screaming...

    "Wake me up inside
    Before I come undone
    Save me from the nothing I've become"

    cybette wrote this at 05:06 AM ... Comments (1)

    Monday, January 12, 2004

    From Xanga: 2004-01-12 19:19:32

    Currently Playing: Moulin Rouge Vol.2 By Various Artists

    La la la la... Diamonds are a girl's best friend!

    (sorry... just singing along with the Moulin Rouge soundtrack. Still love the song "Come what may" - one of my all time favorites)

    Chamber Singers was fun. There's this really cute guy called Casey (I think). Must be like 10 years younger than me since he's only a freshman. Oh well, nice to have some eye candy in class anyway!

    Saw the international student advisor today, and asked about whether I need to keep my student (F1) status while waiting for my green card. She recommended that I do so, just in case my green card is not approved, I still have something to fall back on. But it takes 2-3 years to get my green card... and if I remain F1, I have to take full time classes, and pay out-of-state tuition. So I think I'm going to change my status to "pending PR". This way I can probably get residency in about a year (i.e. can pay in-state tuition), and can do my Phd part time.

    If everything goes well, I get my green card in 2-3 years, and all's fine. But if for some reason they deny my application, I might be deported because I am out of F1 status! But well, I think it's worth the risk. I don't see why my application will be rejected since it's pretty straightforward (definitely no marriage fraud here).

    Yes, yes, "Come what may" is now playing.... Come what may, come what may, I will love you until my dying day! Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place... suddenly it moves with such perfect grace. Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste, it all revolves around you. And there's no mountain too high, no river too wide... sing out this song and I'll be there by your side. Storm clouds may gather, stars may collide, but I love you until the end of time.......

    Maybe Bruce and I can sing this duet during the interview. Gross out the INS officials interviewing us. "ok, ok, here's your green card, stop singing!!" :-D

    cybette wrote this at 07:19 PM ... Comments (2)

    Friday, October 03, 2003

    From Xanga: 2003-10-03 10:59:46

    Currently Playing: ?????? - ?R????(album) - ???M?O(song)

    ?????? ?A?]?e???U?@?w?\
    ???@???W??v ????b?^????`?]
    ???M ?O???A???i?O???i?O
    ???h???@?? ???d?U???? ?????

    ?o????????????CD's???X????M?@???H???????w?L???q?n?M?L?g?????l?C??Q?p??????@??M????r????F?????O??????M(?i???{?b?????n?F?a?M???L?O?o?H?e??L??X???`?O????????...) ??H?q???O?O?H?g???M???L?L?@?????M?L????q?n???O???????N?????????P???M?]?????Y???L?Q?h?~?M?L??CD??]???Q?i???k?M?i?H???O?????q?g?a?T

    cybette wrote this at 10:59 AM ... Comments (1)

    Friday, September 26, 2003

    From Xanga: 2003-09-26 08:47:42

    Currently Playing: Fallen - Taking Over Me

    Gosh, what an album: Evanescence's Fallen. Every song is worth listening to over and over again. Powerful lyrics, haunting melodies, plus Amy Lee's intense and soul-reaching voice. I haven't obsessed over an album in the longest time... listening to it all day, every day.

    Taking Over Me

    You don't remember me
    But I remember you
    I lie awake and try so hard
    not to think of you
    But who can decide what they dream?
    And dream I do...

    I believe in you
    I'll give up everything just to find you
    I have to be with you to live, to breath
    You're taking over me

    Have you forgotten all I know
    and all we had?
    You saw me mourning my love for you
    and touched my hand
    I knew you loved me then

    I believe in you
    I'll give up everything just to find you
    I have to be with you to live, to breath
    You're taking over me

    I look in the mirror and see your face
    If I look deep enough
    So many things inside that are
    just like you are taking over...

    cybette wrote this at 08:47 AM ... Comments (1)