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Sunday, July 12, 2009

Hello & Goodbye on July 5

Hello & Goodbye on July 5

Last summer I roamed far and wide
Up to Nordkapp, down to Turku
Spanning three countries only to find
The one across the street, the one & only you

Initially hooked by your captivating smile
My main impression of you from Ruisrock
When we next met, you sang for me
And with your piano keys, my heart in lock

My favorite place - on piano bench by your side
Watching your fingers on the keyboard take flight
Emoting such passion for your music and life
Filling my days with hope and light

I love the way you gazed into my eyes
The way you gently whispered me good night
The way your infectious laugh rang in my ears
The way your strong arms enveloped me tight

Many nights I would rather sacrifice sleep
To watch you beside me in slumber deep
As you hold my hand close to your heart
Feeling your heartbeat, your breath from lips apart

The tender caresses of those lips will be
Forever etched in my memory
The way you spooned me, the way you kiss
All of the above, and more, I will sorely miss...

Winter befell, seemingly an omen cast
As the snow fell, I realized I was falling too
You once called me your angel, I am but fallen...
Fallen to earth, fallen in love with you

Time with you so wonderful it almost felt unreal
Many magical moments I wish I could freeze
But the snow had to melt, and with it my fate seal
As resolute as the black and white piano keys

It broke my heart when you confessed
A future with me you couldn't conceive
Erasing the possibilities I'd envisioned for us
Shattering the dream I longed to believe

I wonder what I could've done differently
Spoke of my feelings sooner, or given you more?
But perhaps I made it all too easy
No challenge for you, no thrill in the score

It's not in my nature however to "play games"
Yet in the game of life, the dice have to be sown
I took a risk with you and chose a menolippu
Now I'm stranded with no return ticket to own

From the highest of highs to the lowest of lows
Rakastan sinua aina, may you remember
All that we have shared, those beautiful memories
And pray this wounded heart will eventually recover

This summer, exactly a year to follow
I dreamt the impossible dream
And woke up with tears on my pillow
I guess it's time you set me free

Goodbye my number eighty-seven
I hope you find your peace of heaven
While I spread my wings like a raven
Forlornly in search of my new haven...

cybette wrote this at 03:40 PM ... Comments (0)

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

I'm a mess

An online chat with someone in the wee hours of the morning. Some unexpected turn of events. Felt crappy. Stared at a pile of clothes next to me. Reached for my E71 and took a picture. Crappy picture. But it inspired words. Started typing on the E71. Came up with the first two stanzas at around 4am. Fell asleep. Got up, got to work, stared through the window at the rain pouring outside. Finished the poem during coffee break, probably around 4pm. Composed entirely on E71 (love this device). Dated 22/07/08.


Messy Inspiration

I'm a mess
Just like my pile of dirty clothes on the floor
I need someone
To pick me up, to make sense of it all

I have loved
So deeply, so completely, against all resistance
I am shattered
Not by your change of heart, but by your indifference

The rain pours
In place of my tears, as I take it all in stride
The heart falls
Alone with my fears, yet behind the mask I hide

Pieces of you
Linger on, I still feel you with each breath I take
Pieces of me
Scattered and lost, here in the land of a thousand lakes...

cybette wrote this at 02:18 AM ... Comments (4)

Monday, September 17, 2007

Queen of Winter Darkness

Snow white flurries thru the window paned
Covering ground where the blood has stained
Warm in the room notwithstanding lights out
Cold is the heart no more love devout
Phantom knife twisting in her chest
No hope for slumber, dying for rest
Lies the queen of winter darkness
In a state of perpetual maimedness


(my entry in the Jaiku poetry slam contest)

cybette wrote this at 12:42 AM ... Comments (1)

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

簡訊

在這個陌生的地方
聽著更陌生的言語
因為你不在我身旁
這世界失去了意義
每天的行為和活動
只為了讓時間飛逝
直到你我再次相聚

cybette wrote this at 10:00 PM ... Comments (0)

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Sleepless in Dallas

Having many sleepless nights in a row... averaging around 3 hours of sleep each night or less. Hope I'm not slipping into depression... like that dark period of time two years back... right around this time of the year. Not sure how I got in... not sure how I got out... all I remember was the darkness consuming me. Helpless. Just let me fall asleep, just let me find comfort in my dreams, then I'll be ok, then I can see the light. I need my dreams. I need my dreams to stay alive. I feel more alive in dreams than I do awake. Especially right now I'm so mentally and physically tired I am just a walking zombie. A good night's sleep. Something I usually take for granted. But now just out of my reach...

Perhaps the hopes I have are much too high
Way out of reach, but I have to try
I want to live, not just to survive
And I'm keeping my dreams alive...

cybette wrote this at 01:24 AM ... Comments (3)

Friday, October 01, 2004

Letting Go

To let go does not mean to stop caring,
it means I can't do it for someone else.

To let go is not to cut myself off,
it's the realization I can't control another.

To let go is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go is to admit powerlessness,
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
it's to make the most of myself.

To let go is not to care for,
but to care about.

To let go is not to fix,
but to be supportive.

To let go is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To let go is not to be protective,
it's to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to deny,
but to accept.

To let go it not to nag, scold or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.

To let go is not to criticize and regulate anybody
but to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go is not to regret the past,
but to grow and live for the future.

To let go is to fear less and love more.

-- Anonymous

cybette wrote this at 06:15 AM ... Comments (0)

Saturday, July 17, 2004

Sometimes, a little is enough

Had a splitting headache yesterday... really bad, especially in the morning. Don't know how I got through the day. Anyway...

People come and go in our lives... and occasionally there are those that make a mark. It might be just a little dot in the huge canvas of our whole lives, but there are those special few that draws the dot with a permanent marker (deliberately or otherwise). These people won't (and can't) replace our family, the friends who stayed with us through thick and thin, or the great loves of our lives. Nevertheless, they make our lives more interesting and our canvases more colourful. Take joy in the little things in life, those special little moments. They won't last, and they're not life changing. But nevertheless welcome additions...

Sometimes, a little is enough

We shared a little slice of time
At a little cozy place
In the infinite continuum
Twas our little moment in space

A little part of me
Connected with a little side of you
Not soulmates, not even close
But the little spark true blue

Between us twas a little joke
If only for a little while
You gave me a little wink
And I returned with a little smile

Because of our chance encounter
I've found a little muse
I could even write a little rhyme
About a glass of orange juice

A little peek into our little dreams
Of flying way up high
A little ride in a little red coupe
Before lasers hit my eye

Take a pic for a little memento
For sometimes the going gets tough
The memory of a little stolen glance...
Sometimes, a little is enough

cybette wrote this at 03:42 PM ... Comments (1)

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

I need a break

I am so tired. Exhausted. Drained. I give so much of myself, to everything... everyone... that I have nothing left for myself at the end of it all. Yes, having the ability to give is something I should be grateful about. But, while I'm not asking for something special in return, a little appreciation will be... well.... appreciated. Please don't take it for granted that I'll keep giving. I am human, I have a limit too. My resources can get depleted... and I may not be able to refuel as fast as you expect me to. I want to be available whenever you need me, but what about me? Is it so selfish as to ask for some time and energy for myself? Does that make me a bad person? Help...........

I'm so tired of being here
Exhausted by demands far and near
If I have more to give
I would gladly and willingly give
But my resources are all depleted here
And I'm left all alone...

cybette wrote this at 02:21 AM ... Comments (2)

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

Almond Amaretto

The taste of Almond Amaretto
On the tip of my tongue, lingering
Brings to mind this afternoon
The memory of all of you, laughing
The rare chance for sisters, gathering
Even my troubles, ephemeral fleeing
These will be dearly cherished

Amaretto ?????D
?H?H?d?b???Y?y
?Q?_?U????^??
????p??????n
???o???n?f??E
?u????????o
???O??o????

cybette wrote this at 04:59 AM ... Comments (0)

Saturday, December 27, 2003

From Xanga: 2003-12-27 03:55:33

This is something I just wrote. It's for Gloria. I'm not saying that I know what she's feeling and all that, it's more of a "what I might feel if I were her" kind of thing. Gloria, this is for you, I hope you'll like it.


Sometimes Life Just Isn't Fair
December 2003 (inspired by and dedicated to Gloria)


Sometimes life just isn't fair
That's easy for you to say
How would you know what I'm going through
If you haven't walked a mile in my shoe

This is no ordinary shoe
It is attached to a ball and chain
I'm a prisoner in the land of the free
Locked up with an extra dose of pain

Perhaps it's easier to be cold and empty
Void of emotions, totally sucked dry
Not knowing nor caring what tomorrow holds
Completely drained of tears to cry

But hollow I may be, I am still alive
As much as I fight it or will it away
My feelings creep back unsuspectingly
Continuing to haunt me day after day

Naked and exposed, lonely and exhausted
There's no other choice and no way out
Even if I want to walk away from it all
I don't have anywhere to go

So I stay behind with my ball and chain
Picking up the pieces of broken glass
Gluing back the mess of broken dreams
Sewing back the fabric of a broken home

I too have been broken, many times over
Hastily put back just to be broken again
Between the pieces, within the cracks
Filled with dried blood from my heart a-slain

That which does not kill me only makes me stronger
Believing that may sustain me just a little longer
As I search on for that glimmer of hope
I can't help but think
Sometimes life just isn't fair

cybette wrote this at 03:55 AM ... Comments (1)